Her Touch

13

I woke up with mom's arms wrapped around my torso, my discomfort seeping up on me. I was always more comfortable with my mother and didn't mind her touch unlike with everyone else, but still, there was a limit to the amount of affection I could take from her.
I picked up her arm with my hand and moved away from her quickly, before dropping her hand onto the bed and walking out of my room. I sighed as I slowly walked down the stairs, my mind a bit fuzzy as continuous yawns escaped my lips.
"Kylie, you're up late," I heard my grandfather say as I entered the kitchen. I sighed as I looked at his tired eyes and slouched shoulders. He was sitting on an island stool while using his laptop.
"Just woke up to get some water," I said as I walked over to the fridge and opened it, "so what are you doing?" I questioned as I grabbed a bottle and closed the fridge, before trying to sneak a peek at his laptop screen.
He closed it before I could have read anything, "oh just reading, you know my curiosity about the aliens," I nodded.
"Mom's asleep, try to go easy on her, you know she went through a lot too. I was selfish to say the things I had," I said, referring to when I bursted down in front of everyone earlier that evening.
"Honey, you have every right to. I know that she isn't a bad mother, my anger may have caused me to say things I now regret, but the things I found out are very unsettling. I wish I was there to protect you, and I want to do everything in my power to give you the justice you deserve," he said the last part with evident anger.
"Grandpa, there is nothing we can do, it happened a long time ago," I closed my eyes as memories began to resurface, "stay sane and go to bed," I said as I rushed out of the kitchen and into the living room. I tried to catch my breath as I walked up the stairs, but my body gave up on me.
"Kay, sweetie, let me help," Grandpa said, making me shake my head, "come here," he pulled me into him so that my head rested against his chest, "what's wrong?" He questioned as I breathed against his shoulder.
"Nothing, I'm just tired," I sighed and pulled away from him. I ran up the stairs and into my room, as mom was walking out.
"Baby, are you okay?" She asked as I walked past her and over to the bedside table where my phone was.
"I'm fine. I need to talk to Ava," I whispered as I unlocked my phone and was about to dial her number.
"She must be sleeping, it's very late," she whispered, walking over to me and taking the phone away, "you two seem closer than I thought," she continued, making me bite down on the inside of my cheek.
"We're actually not, I keep pushing her away," mom placed her hand on my shoulder.
"You seem to be doing just fine," she kissed my forehead, "come on, let's go back to bed, tomorrow you're taking me on a walk around town."
"Mom, I have school, and tutoring, and being a freaking assistant," I sighed as I sat down on the bed.
"Okay, calm down baby, tell me what's wrong," I buried my face into the palms of my hands, "from what I've figured out, you're Ava's teacher's assistant, right? Since she's your Literature teacher and all," I took a deep breath.
"I'm just frustrated, you know me, I get irritated easily," she sat on the bed next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.
"Don't worry, baby, you've had a much tighter schedule than this, between academics and the track team, not to forget your attempt at cheerleading."
"Oh no, mom, please don't bring up cheerleading, that was the worst decision I've ever made."
"You were great, Kylie, those backflips were amazing, too bad you quit before you even started," I shook my head.
"You wanted me to go for try-outs, you never said I had to accept their offer to be on the team."
"You should have, baby, you have so many talents, and so much time. You're young, vibrant and very brilliant, not to mention amazingly beautiful," I dropped my hands from my face and looked at her.
Love and kindness were filled in her pale blue eyes. I gave her a kiss on her cheek, "thanks, mom, but I don't think I will ever be what you want me to be."
"You are already everything that I have dreamed of and more, but you need to do things to make yourself happy-to see the world with those bright, blue eyes of yours and conquer it. You were made for great things, Kylie, and you will do so many wonderful things in your life."
I sighed as my mind processed everything she had said, "how's the fiancé?" I asked, not knowing how to respond to what she'd said.
"Oh, he's great. He's getting married to me, so yeah, his life is wonderful," she grinned.
"You're too full of yourself."
"I'm not conceited, just awesome," her arm dropped from being around my shoulder.
"I think you need to have a reality check, maybe start by looking into the mirror," she shoved my arm and chuckled.
"Now, there's my daughter, insulting me as usual," she pouted, "I should ask you about your girlfriend, I bet she can't stand you."
"She's not my girlfriend," I giggled as mom began to tickle my sides. I fell onto my back, on the bed, as she continued to tickle me.
"Oh really? I don't think so. Those looks you were giving her would make a nun blush," my eyes widened.
"What? What are... you talking about?"
She stopped tickling me and lyed down beside me, turning on her side, "you're attracted to her, it's pretty obvious."
"No, I'm not," I covered my eyes with my hands.
"Um yes, I'm no fool and she pretty much looked at you like you're a bottle of water in the middle of the desert."
"Don't lie, mom, that's not true."
"It is, it is."
"Nuh uh, nuh uh," she began to tickle my sides again, "mom!" I yelped as I jumped up in surprise.
"Kylie, Jaclyn, what's going on?" I heard my grandfather yell. I then heard loud footsteps before he appeared in my room panting and with alarmed eyes, "are you two okay?" We both looked up at him from our positions on the bed and bursted out laughing. He looked at the two of us in amusement and crossed his arms over his chest, "what's so funny?" He furrowed his thick brows and leaned against the doorframe.
Mom sat up as the laughter died down, "dad, I want to say that I'm sorry for everything that happened. If I could change the past I would," she said, sadness laced with her voice, "I just wanted you to know that I know I should have done a better job as a mother," she whispered. I imagined that tears were rolling down her cheeks, as I saw tears slipping from my grandfather's eyes.
I bit down on the inside of my cheek as my grandfather walked over and took a seat on the bed in front of her, "It's okay, darling. I lashed out on you and I'm sorry. It was just a lot to take in," he then looked at me and stretched his hand out for me to take, "Kylie, I promise that you're safe now. You don't need to be afraid, and if you have any problems with anyone, tell me and I'll deal with them," I gave him a grateful smile, as I felt my eyes begin to water with emotion.
"I love you guys," I whispered, before mom pulled me into a hug.
"I love you too, baby," she kissed my cheek.
* * *
THE NEXT DAY, I left mom still asleep, as I began to get ready for school. It was already 10:00 in the morning, but she always loved sleeping in, and since she got a chance to, she made sure to indulge in it.
After I was finished getting ready, I grabbed my satchel and quietly made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, before heading out the door.
There was always a guard on call, one for the day and one for the night shift. I never had a conversation with any of them. They both were more on the side of creepy, by which I meant, they just looked at me as I walked past them.
As I stepped through the gates, that the guard opened for me, I felt the morning air finally envelop my body. I sighed as I began my journey to school.
Walking toward the diner, where I usually bought smoothies from, I saw someone familiar staring at me. I furrowed my brows trying to place who he was.
He continued to look at me as he gripped his backpack and I stared back at him very annoyed, "why the staring contest? It's creepy," I said as I walked past him.
I didn't expect him to follow me, "y... you said you're gay, right?" He asked, making me stop in my tracks and he did the same, thankfully not bumping into me.
"A lesbian, yes, why?" I squeezed the unopened bottle of water in my hand. He looked intimidated by me.
"I'm sorry for asking you out the other day. Emily told me that you like me... I didn't know, I'm sorry," I looked at him, recognizing his sandy blonde hair and remembered the scenario that I had already put at the back of my mind.
"And Emily is?"
"Rude, a junior, thinks she is better than everyone else," then, my memory clicked again.
"Oh, the bitch who can't accept that I'm smarter than her?" He nodded before I continued, "but your foolish mistake happened before my disagreement with her, why would she do that?"
He passed his hand through his hair before speaking, "well, you're obviously much hotter and smarter than her so she's intimidated."
"Intimidated... I knew that already, but why? I'm definitely not popular or do I want to be."
"You're the hottest chick in school right now, all the girls are envious of you," I furrowed my brows and rubbed my temple.
"Great, unwanted attention. Thanks for the information, but I gotta go," I gave him a weak smile, before turning and continuing my walk to school.