Her Touch

28

Ava placed a kiss on my lips, before she gently ran her hand up my exposed thigh and patted my bum, "get dressed, baby," she sighed, before she slipped away from me and stood.
Dragging the palms of her hands over her face, also using her fingertips to harshly rub her eyes, she walked into the bathroom and toward the sink, where I heard the sound of watering flowing from a tap.
I wrapped my body in the cool fabric of the sheet, before I headed behind her. Her hands were clenched onto the surface of the sink and breathing was rapid. Placing my hand on her shoulder, she took a deep breath, "babe?" She turned to look at me.
"Are you going to shower?" I pressed my lips together and nodded.
"Do you want to join me?" I smirked, allowing the sheet to slip agilely off of my body and pool to my feet on the floor. I stepped closer to her, but she shook her head.
"I showered before you came home, I'll go prepare something for dinner," she walked away from me and out of the bathroom.
Heavily sighing, I picked up the sheet from the floor and placed it on top of the bathroom cupboard, before I sauntered into the shower, wishing that she was in there with me.
* * *
AFTER SHOWERING, I got dressed in a pair of pyjama shorts and a t-shirt, not wearing anything underneath. I made sure that my outfit was a bit too revealing, but a little subtle at the same time.
The night was a bit chilly, which made my nipples hard and printable through the thin fabric. I headed out of my room, down the stairs and into the kitchen.
"Babe," I called, as I watched her stir something on the stove. She didn't turn to look at me, as she continued to concentrate on what she was doing.
"Grandpa said that he'll be late," I nodded, not that she could see, and walked up behind her. Wrapping my arms around her torso, I placed a kiss on her cheek, making her sigh, "I'm doing something here," she shimmied out of my hold and continued to cook, ignoring me. Taking a deep breath, I walked over to a kitchen stool and sat down, as I looked at her. I bit down on my bottom lip, as I watched her hips sway and her bum bounce a bit. Turning off the stove, she turned to me and placed her hands on her hips. I stood and walked over to her again, making her eyes scan my body. She drew in a breath, as I placed my hands in hers and kissed the back of her right palm, then her left, before placing them over my perky breasts. For a moment, I saw her eyes darken with desire, but it quickly vanished, as she dropped her hands and shook her head, "let's eat," she grabbed two bowls from the cupboard.
"What did you make?" I questioned, trying to ignore the rejection.
"Chicken soup," she began to dish out for the both of us. I sighed and walked back over to the kitchen stool and sat, my eyes feeling heavy and body unwanted. As we ate, I took sneak glances at her, even though her eyes never rose to mine. I pressed my lips together and placed my hand on her thigh, but she didn't seem affected by my touch. Anger boiling in my stomach, I slipped my hand under her pyjama pants and grazed the skin beneath the hem of her underwear, making her grab my hand and place it on top of the counter. I furrowed my eyebrows and crossed my arms over my chest, "please stop," she mumbled, as she got up from the stool and picked up her empty bowl to place it into the sink.
As she filled the dishwasher, I sat there in dejection, as I stirred my spoon in my uneaten bowl of soup. Pain filled my chest and I got up, also picking up my bowl and placed it in the sink, before exiting the kitchen. I found my way up the stairs, into my room, and hit the bed with a loud thump.
Tears streamed down my face, but I quickly wiped them away with the back of my palm, before jumping up from my bed and heading toward my dresser.
I stripped from all of my clothing and found a pair of red, lace underwear and its matching bra, before slipping the revealing fabrics on and grabbed my satin robe from one of the drawers.
I looked at myself in the mirror, knowing that my grandfather wasn't at home, so I could have done what I wanted. The outfit felt delicate against my skin and my robe tied loosely around my body gave a sexy appearance that I knew Ava couldn't resist.
Sitting on my bed with my ankles crossed and my chest pushed out, since my body was being supported by the palm of my hands being pressed against the bed, I waited for Ava. With each breath I took, my heart thumped with expectation, wanting her to take me as soon as she entered the room.
But why was I so adamant about her touching me? Was it because of rejection that I would give my body away for the sake of feeling wanted? I gulped, as I allowed my back to fall against the softness of the bed.
I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. I wanted her to want me, but I also didn't want her to touch me. I then realized that I was very selfish when it came to sex. I would turn her on, but she could never expect anything from it. I did eat her out in her classroom, which was very wrong and careless, but it felt so right and I regretted nothing, yet I still couldn't let her touch me. Though, I was basically naked, lying on my bed, waiting for her to, just because I felt unwanted.
Pressing my lips together, I decided that I should have continued waiting, but not for what I initially had planned. We had to have a conversation, in which we would discuss our feelings. I knew that something was bugging her. She never treated me so dejectedly before, and somehow that made me desperately want her, but maybe my want for her clouded my own fears.
But was I still afraid? Up until a few moments prior, I was ready for the taking. I was excited to be touched by her-to feel her soft fingers caressing my aching flesh. I was turned on, for sure-turned on by rejection. What was wrong with me?
I lifted myself up, still waiting, not too sure what I would have said to her. When she saw me in my choice of clothing, would she get turned on and hover over my body, as her fingers trailed on my soft, exposed skin? Would she kiss me with passion and lust filled eyes that couldn't manage to control themselves at the sight before them? But was I even that beautiful to begin with?
My pale skin and used body, a body that wasn't a blossoming rose, but a filthy petal in the mud-dirty and broken, no innocence left, only bruises that had healed, but never vanished. I rubbed my hand up my chest and around my neck, remembering the pain-how harsh pressure was applied by a firm hand, as my head repeatedly hit the bed frame, as a man who I came to call a stranger forced himself upon me, in ways my decent childhood was tainted, leaving a little girl with a broken body.
Though, only fragments of my past were available for me to remember, which I was greatly thankful for, since I couldn't stand remembering the exact details of what occurred. I never told anyone what he specifically did to me. My own mother never wanted to know either. She never stopped me from telling her. I just knew that she couldn't handle the awful picture in her head if she knew the details. She knew he touched me, but not how or how much. She knew he used his fingers and probably other parts of him, but I would think she thought that he was gentle, maybe because he would have a little sympathy for his child, but he didn't. He wasn't only forceful, but harsh, so harsh that there were bruises left afterwards.
When she found out, he had already mastered the art of not leaving physical evidence of what I endured. He would apply pressure to my neck, but just enough so that it wouldn't leave lacerations. As for my thighs, where he couldn't leave unmarked, the doctors took it to be the sensitivity of my skin, not the severity of what he had done to me, strangely enough.
I sighed, as I placed my hands on either side of my shoulders, knowing that there was no use to relive the past, but I did wish that I had some solace for all of the things that happened to me-that one day someone would find him in a dumpster with his body slaughtered like an animal. I wished that someone would detach his body parts as he watched, slowly dying as each part of his body was ripped away from him.
Taking a deep breath, I knew such thoughts were those of a murderer, but it did give me some comfort to know that maybe one day he would feel the slightest pain like what I felt. As a father, he should have protected me, yet he ripped me away from all decency and protection, as my body degraded to that of a corpse-lifeless.
I didn't feel most of the emotional pain of his actions then. I was too young to understand what most of it meant, but with age came understanding, and I felt more pain, as I looked at my mother, who looked more lost than me. I comforted her, made her see that none of it was her fault, but sometimes I wanted the same for myself. She was weak. She couldn't bare pain the way that I could. She did endure her own share of abuse from him, but wasn't as comforting to me, as I endured my own.
I looked at it in the way that I was stronger, that I could get over it by locking it away in my mind, though that didn't help much when I suffered with nightmares and breakdowns. Mom once even wanted to send me to a psych ward when it was all too much for her, which made me lock away my feelings even more from her.
Somehow, in a way that I couldn't understand, Ava held all the attributes of someone I needed all along-to comfort me and be there for me, even if she didn't understand the reasons behind my sadness and pain. She would hold me when all I wanted to do was not say a word and ignore her presence, as though I was alone, but yet I wasn't.
She was there, whether holding me or sitting on the sidelines, waiting for when I would need her. I think that was what made me fall for her-her unselfishness and heart full of understanding and love.
"Kylie?" I heard Ava whisper next to me. I didn't even realize that she came into the room. She laid with her arm supporting her head, as she rested it against the palm of her hand, and concern melted into the pools of her beautiful grey eyes, "you seemed lost in thought," she mumbled, before caressing my cheek with the soft, gentleness of her fingers, "are you okay?" She used her thumb to wipe away a tear that effortlessly slid down my cheek. Swallowing, I attempted to speak, but my words were obstructed by the sobs that croaked out instead. She pulled me into her, my head nuzzled against her chest, as she caressed the centre of my back with her fingertips, "baby, I'm here, let it all out," she continued to comfort me.
Minutes felt like hours, and even though I was crying, I wasn't crying because of my awful childhood, or because I never received the support that I needed to deal with my emotions when growing up. I cried because I found someone who really cared for me and that scared me, "I'm sorry," I mumbled, as my tears began to dry up and shaking body began to calm down.
"Why are you sorry, baby?" She whispered, before placing a kiss on my forehead.
"I know that you're angry, but I don't know why," she inhaled deeply, before she placed her hands on my shoulders and leaned back a little, so that she could look into my eyes.
"I don't want you to ever do something that you're not comfortable with," I furrowed my eyebrows and pouted, waiting for her to explain, "don't push yourself to do something just because you think it would make me happy, or make me forgive you for something," her hands ran down my shoulders, grabbed the sash of my robe and tightened it, "please don't, it only hurts me that you would do such a thing."
I pressed my lips together and lowered my gaze, "I'm sorry," I mumbled.
"Don't tell me sorry, apologize to yourself, you know that in the end, you're hurting yourself and not me," I looked at her and sighed.
"You care so much about me?" She nodded, "why though?" She pressed her thumb against my lip in hesitation.
"I... don't know if I should tell you just yet," she whispered, as her cheeks tinted a light shade of pink, "I'll tell you in time to come though," I swallowed and shook my head.
"Can you tell me now?"
"Are you sure you want to know?" I nodded and placed my hands in hers.
"You can tell me anything," she bit the inside of her cheek and inhaled slow breaths, creating suspense to boil in the pit of my stomach.
"I love you," I swallowed, as those words flowed sweetly through her pink lips. Allowing oxygen to flow through my lungs, I caressed the palms of her hands with my thumbs, as I continued to look into her beautiful grey eyes. A smile formed on my face, as her cheeks illuminated with a bright shade of pink and her eyes lowered to look at our intertwined hands, "I know it's too soon, but... but I really do love you," her eyes met mine again, but they were glossed with tears. A stream of tears flowed agilely down her cheeks, as I squeezed her hands in mine and leaned closer to her, so that our foreheads were touching.
"What do you love about me?" I whispered, making her swallow. She kissed my forehead and blinked away a few tears, before she began.
"I love your emotions, though you try to hide what you feel, I can always bring out what's inside of you, and that makes me know that you trust me. I love your heart, though many have hurt you, you still have a purity within that makes me know that you are strong and brave. You haven't let your past defeat you, though I don't know the severity of it all, I know it must be extremely difficult and I'm always here for you, I'll always be here," I released her hands and leaned my head against her chest, in need to feel her warmth. Closing my eyes, I listened, as she continued, "you're so smart, so beautiful... I get lost in your beautiful, blue eyes, that always manage to trap me and hold me in without me even realizing it. I would be in class and my eyes would fall upon yours, making my heart skip a beat and giving me flushed cheeks when I get caught staring," I giggled, as she leaned back and I wrapped my arms around her neck.
"You're pretty poetic," I pressed my lips together, trying to hold back a huge grin.
"And you're amazingly beautiful, full of grace and perfection. You're everything I would ever want and need," my heart fluttered.
I couldn't help myself, as I pressed my lips against hers. She was surprised at my touch, but quickly kissed me back, with more passionate force, dominating the kiss, which resulted in her straddling me, as I laid flat on the bed. My robe slipped off my shoulders, and I shimmied out of it, before pushing it to the side.
Her tongue slipped into my mouth and head pressed against my bare stomach, making a moan escape my lips. Her lips trailed kisses down my jawline, travelling toward my collarbone, before gently sucking on the soft flesh above it.
I gasped, as my hips shot up with pleasurable effect from what she was doing to me. Arching my knees, I pressed my thighs against her back, trying to make some kind of friction with her body, wanting to feel the intensiveness of being touched by her.
"I want you," I whispered, as she continued to suck on my skin. My mouth fell agape, as her lips trailed down further, and she slowly slid her tongue in between my breasts. Before doing anything else, she lifted her eyes to meet mine, her eyes shining with sincerity and comfort, making me nod for her to continue, "please do," I begged, as I continued to try to gain friction with her body, making mine wiggle beneath hers. She giggled, as her thumb began to caress the fullness of my lips, before unhooking my bra and slipping the fabric off of my body. She then sensually latched her mouth around my left nipple and gently sucked, causing my elbows to arch above my head. Flicking her slick tongue, which made my nipples strain and inner thighs heat up, she then latched her lips around my other nipple, creating the same overwhelming feeling to continue its effect on me, "fuck," I grumbled, as her hands rubbed against my flat stomach, toward my hip bones, where she pulled my underwear down my legs and tossed it to the floor. My eyes closed and legs spread apart, which made her divert her position for her legs to be in between mine instead.
Feeling the string of her pyjama pants gently graze my wet centre made a low groan escape my lips. I wrapped my legs around her body and she travelled lower, kissing over my midriff and licking the inside of my belly button, which made me giggle.
"Hm, what's so funny, baby?" Her tone of voice was so appealing, in the sense of its huskiness and sexual tone, which was filled with lust and desire, in need to please my aching body.
"Just touch me," I pleaded, as my hands stretched above me, grabbing the edge of the bed, as my knuckles grazed against the mahogany wood of the bed frame, "please," I groaned, as her breasts, which were covered with the fabric of her t-shirt, pressed against my swollen lips through my panties, "I need you," I swallowed, my throat becoming dry and chest heaving. She slithered her tongue along my hip bone, making my body arch off of the bed and push against her nipples, which were hard beneath her t-shirt. Slipping the fabric over her head and threw her arms, she tossed it to the floor, before continuing to savor my sweet flesh. The wetness spread rapidly between my thighs, as her chin rubbed against my mound. Her lips continued to trail downward and stopped at the flesh between my thigh and pussy. Gently sucking, she used her index and middle fingers to rub gently on the tip of my lips, manoeuvring slowly and with soft strokes, making my teeth sink into my bottom lip and legs spread wider, "more please," I insisted, my eyes closed and hands reaching down to caress her smooth back, "fuck, you're amazing," she skilfully brushed her lips against my slit, wetness managing to protrude in a gentle stream. My hands found their way tangled in her messy hair, pushing her closer into my pool of moisture, "please," I gasped, as her tongue slipped into my folds and immediately started licking my aching nub, "just like that," I groaned, as her thumb replaced her tongue to pay attention to my clit and instead slipped down my valley and up again, in a repeated manner, "fuck, just like that," my ankles collided around her neck, as she expertly tipped me over the edge. As my breaths were uneven and hips continuously rocked against her mouth, she used her other hand to gently caress inside of me, only the tip of her index finger meeting my inner flesh. Letting go of her hair, my hands found their way up my torso to cup my breasts, since my erect nipples needed attention. I groaned, as I pinched the delicate peaks in between my fingers, while Ava continued to work wonders between my thighs, "oh... uhhh..." I opened my eyes, looked down to see her face buried deep within me and found the scene alone far too much to handle, "I'm gonna cum," my jaw tightened and taut nipples were released, as my hands gripped the fabric of the bedding.