You Found Me

Do me a Favour

It all started at the end of December, on the 27th to be precise. I received an email from the admins from Crisis at Christmas telling me that the receiver of my donation wanted to connect with me and send me an email. They just needed my confirmation which was an instant, yes! As soon as I received and read the message from him I was completely swept away with feelings of happiness and contentment. This was a man whose life I had impacted in such a small way for me but eternally for him. Even now reading that very first message again brings back those same butterflies in my stomach.

Dear Annie Philips,

Firstly, I want to extend a massive thank you for being so kind, thoughtful and for giving me this opportunity to have the most wonderful Christmas I have had in a very long time. The circumstances that have led me to my situation were completely out of my hands. I never expected at thirty that I would be sleeping in the doorway of a post office, begging for any morsel of food or any bit of spare change that someone will offer me. I never used to be like this. I had a flat in Finchley Road, just outside central London and I was in a long term relationship with my girlfriend, Sinead. I decided in honor of my father, who is my biggest inspiration, to enlist in the army. After the necessary training I received I was stationed in Iraq where I spent four years serving my country and making friends with my fellow team mates. I saw many things, good and bad but I don't want to scare you with those memories as it's something I have to live with and I would never dream of burdening you with it. Nothing prepared me for the sheer horror of returning home to find someone else living in my flat. My girlfriend had gone and left me for some other guy she'd met at work. And I was left, no job, no flat just alone with nothing. I took to being homeless like a duck takes to water, when you live in a Military lifestyle you learn that you can live without hardly anything and still find a way to survive. However, this is not the life I wanted to live. My family all live in America where I was born and with COVID taking over the world just as I returned to London, I was unable to return to them. They are from a working class background. Even though they wired across some money to me, that was not enough to find me a decent place to live. This has been my life now for nearly two years and I am tired. I had this mentality of who knows how long I will survive. I thought maybe COVID will kill me off before the starvation takes over, these past winter months have been the longest and coldest for me. Then one afternoon I was approached by a gentleman offering me shelter, a bed to sleep in for the night and a Christmas meal. If I'm honest with you I'd thought I'd finally passed away and this was Jesus talking to me in Heaven. It didn't help that this guy had a long beard and hair that came to his shoulders. I hope that part makes you laugh. After I realized that this was not some fluke I was taken to what I can only describe as a five star hotel. I had never experienced anything like it before, all the volunteers couldn't do enough for us. By the end of my stay I spoke with one of the counsellors who put me in touch with an agency. Now, I currently have a room staying in a Hostel. It's not where I want to stay for the rest of my life, but it's decent enough for now until I can find my feet again. I just wanted you to know that you've helped me immensely. Because of you and the opportunity you gave me, I have been able to find a safe place to rest my head at night. Thank you so much, Annie. May God bless you. If you would like to keep in touch please send me your email. I would love to get to know you more.

Best Wishes,

Lee

I immediately asked the admins to forward on my email address and within a few days we were emailing each other back and forth. It turns out we like the same music, we've travelled to a lot of the same places and he has a very good head on his shoulders. He's been very interested in learning more about me and my life. Before I knew it I found myself being swept up into this little bubble of him and I. As soon as I would see a notification on my phone my stomach would do little somersaults. I can't remember the last time I was effected this way by a man and at this point, I had never even seen his face. That's why this whole thing between us is different. I've seen who the man is inside and to me, he is the full package. I decide to stop playing my hard to get routine like I usually do with other men. I want to be fully transparent with him.