Silent songbird

Chapter 4

I stayed there and waited. What should I do? Should I run after her? Should I come back and tell her I accept to be her friend? No! I can't do that! I came back slowly walking to the car. I should turn around now and try to find her. What if what I told her has made her think of what caused that scar and now she is crying alone in a cold street. With no one to tell her to come back home. No one to help her get up and to be her friend. I want to be the one who gives her a hand and takes her home. I want to be her friend! I knew it from the beginning but was too shocked to admit it. I want to apologise and start everything again from the start! I want to change. I need to change! It may be too late to erase everything but I can try to erase a part of what I've done. Erase the part of me that made her cry so many times. I will find her and talk to her! I will..
The tallest man I've ever seen was standing in front of me. He looked at me with a cold blue stare. Mathieu Roy. The richest man in the little town. The one who possibely murdered his wife. If he did that to someone he loved, what could he do to someone who did horrible things to his daughter? I was standing in front of this imposant adult and was waiting for anyone to come and save me. What should I do? Apologise to him? I have to seem strong, not scared! I took all of my courage, took a deep breath and was about to tell him to let me pass when a small girl appeared. She must have been around the age of 9 years old. She looked at Amylee's father and then looked at me. "Who is this, Da". Da? What is a Da? What does Da mean? "He is no one, honey. Go back to your room and ask your sister to cook something please.". Honey? Da? Da! He married himself again but with a 9 years old child? The little girl looked at me with curiosity and judgement in her eyes. What? I had something in my face? She told me not to hurt her Da and got back in the mansion. Da. I looked up when a big and low voice told me she was the sister of the girl I was hurting at school. He added that I must have been too dizzy with the sleeping problems. He said that it must be hard sleeping when you have to find inspiration to hurt an innocent little girl. He also said I probably never even looked at her properly. He said I should have recognised the little girl since she looked like a tiny Amylee. It's true that the small girl had the same colour of hair as her sister and the same green eyes. She really looked like Amylee but the little girl had really short hair that stopped at her chin. If she wasn't wearing a pink dress with cute cat leggings I would probably have thought she was a boy. I didn't apologise to Mathieu since I did nothing to him. Why would I apologise to a man I don't even know?

We went back home and I went running in my room. I couldn't look at my mother without feeling really bad. I just layed on my bed and looked at the white roof. Everything in this room was white. I never gave attention to it but now that I have nothing better to do, why not? I wonder why I couldn't even choose the colour of my own bedroom. I know we are in an apartment and that in apartments the walls are most of the time white but even the sheets on my bed were white and they looked old. They were too big for my bed and the blanket had holes. The only thing that was not white was the light that was grey and the floor that was a dark shaded brown. There was a window on the wall that faced the door. The room was really small so only a simple sized mattress and a small couch could fit in it. My clothes were all thucked in a small wardrobe in the wall. There was only a small kitchen and the dining room was a part of the living room. My sister lived in the appartement just under ours. She lived in a basement that looked like our appartement but with only one room instead of two. I never understood why we couldn't just buy a bigger appartement for my sister to live with us. She was only 16 back then and she lived with that tall man. I think his name was Oliver but I never talked to him. He looked mean.

I finally fell asleep, looking at the depressing roof. I was taken away from reality for a second but then I woke up. I was on the beach. Amylee was walking away from me. My legs started to act on their own and I runned after her. I couldn't speak or scream her name so she could stop walking. I was running the faster I could and she was only walking at the beat of the waves but she was growing farther and farther. She slowly became smaller with the distance until I thought I saw her turn around. I runned even faster but when I thought I was in front of her, I looked up and she wasn't there. I looked around but she wasn't anywhere. I was left alone on that huge sand island, completely lost. I started panicking and the sun was suddenly even more bright. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again my mother was standing beside my bed saying I was such a lazy teenager. It was a dream. Of course it was! I have had the same dream every night since I was twelve years old and I still think it is true. I am sixteen years old now and Amylee is too. She is not that little child I am running after on that beach.