Silent songbird

Chapter 5

I got up and said good morning to the Old lady that was staring at me. She was probably waiting for something. I asked her what she was waiting for and she told me she made me pancakes. I asked her if she really woke me up for pancakes and she said she thought I would be happy. I looked at the clock that showed 7 am. How could she think I would be happy to be woken up for pancakes at 7 am! She left the room and muttered "ungrateful son" just loud enough so I could hear. I got up from bed and put on a big white T-shirt she got me a couple of months ago thinking I wore an XL T-shirt when I fit in medium perfectcly. I got in the kitchen and took a plate with two of the small hotcakes. I didn't bother to put anything on it, even though my mother looked at me as if I was the weirdest thing on earth. My relationship with her was standing on that. I lived my life, she lived hers but with the responsibility she had as a mother and we both judged each other for everything. I wish that I could have been a little less stupid as a child. I ruined everything I had just because I thought I could earn respect while doing the exact opposite of what I should have done to get it.

I went out and adjusted my hat on my head. The snow was slowly falling on the road and the houses were decorated with Christmas stuff. The first real snow of the year. The kind of snow that falls in big chunks and makes the winter paysage become all white in only a couple of minutes. I remember Amylee liked this kind of snow. Maybe she is outside too, watching the snow slowly falling. I took my bike out of the little shed and started to pedal. I went to the park that's near the appartement because apparently Maxence, my nephew, went there earlier to play. I couldn't help reproching my sister to let him out, lonely, when it is this cold outside and he is just 5 years old. I finally heard his voice but I couldn't find him. I heard a second voice coming from the playground. I went in the sort of tunnel on it and saw my nephew with a girl that seemed a little younger than me. I sat down and looked at her. Amylee. I am sure this is Amylee! She seemed so young.. Wait a second! Amylee!? I heard her talk. How is this possible? Is it possible to cure someone mute? No! The copy of Amylee looked at me as if she just had recognised me. She stood straight and said that she was Luke. Amylee's brother. I looked at the now him with atonement. Yes he had short hair but he looked so much like Amylee! His face was feminine and his voice seemed like a girl's. My face must have been too obvious because he looked at me and asked me if I had a problem with him. I said sorry and asked why he was in the children's playground with only a coat and no shoes on when it was snowing. He said he got into a fight with his father and went here without even taking his shoes. I considered him for a second and asked him if he wanted to come to my house for the night. He refused and got out of the tunnel. I followed him but since I was taller and the tunnel was a children's size I was slower to get out. I finally got out but he was already running toward the beach. I ran after him but the vision of my dream came back and I stopped running. I don't even know why I would run after him. My head seemed to understand but my ego didn't want to listen. He was the only way for me to find Amylee. Why would I even want to find her!? It's true that I have grown now. I must apologise. I could just go to the mansion and ask if she is here. Would her father really let me know? I doubt it. This guy who says he is her brother is really my only hope.

I came back with Maxence and dropped him off at my sisters appartement. She didn't even look worried. I went back to my own house and runned to my room. I studied until night and got to sleep.

*
She was on the beach, walking. There was no snow anymore but I felt as if my legs were buried in the icy water. My breathing made the air visible and my cheeks were pink because of the cold. I runned even if I couldn't feel my legs anymore. I fell but I still tried to get up. I felt as if all the snow in the world was slowly covering me until I fell back down. I couldn't get up and she stopped walking. I heard a familiar voice but I couldn't figure out who it was. The weight on my body slowly went away until I could at least breathe. The voice got me back up and told me to run after her. I did but she was only a dot in the paysage now. I fell once again and the voice told me to get out myself now. I recognised this voice full of authority. It was Amylee's little sister's voice. I looked up to see her with her hands on her hips. She told me some things but the snow had already covered my head. I woke up in panic. Now there was invisible snow in addition. This needed to stop and the only way was to see Amylee.