Breathing For This (Sequel To Trembling Hands)

Chapter Thirty Nine

Chapter Thirty Nine

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~ Louis's POV ~

My room is "conveniently" located next to the kitchen, and apparently the walls are paper thin. Someone was up rummaging through the refrigerator and clanking some dishes together. I rolled over, glanced at my alarm clock, and groaned when I saw it was 3:43 a.m.. Who was up at this hour?

I rolled out of my bed with a sigh and walked into the kitchen, the bright light momentarily blinding my eyes and making me squint. When my vision came back into focus I saw Brielle heating up some leftover food, and my annoyance was replaced with satisfaction that she was finally eating - she's turning into skin and bones.

She jumped when she realized she wasn't alone. "Oh, Louis! You scared me! I'm sorry I woke you," she explained, "I just got hungry."

"It's about time," I smiled, "I was starting to think you were trying to starve yourself to death."

She laughed and continued pulling containers out of the fridge, "Do you want anything? You know, since you're awake and all."

"Actually, that sounds good," I said, walking over to help her heat up the leftovers, "So, I take it you're feeling better?"

"Much better," she smiled, a small blush spreading over her cheeks as she scooped some sweet and sour chicken on a plate for me.

"I guess Niall's feeling better too, huh?" I teased

She slapped my arm, "Louis!"

I put my hands up in defense and laughed at her embarrassed expression. When the food was done I set the table and pulled out her chair. "Thank you," she smiled, "Look at you being all gentlemanly tonight."

"You do know that if this were to happen a few months ago, I probably would have pulled that chair away and laughed," I smirked.

She rolled her eyes and laughed at me, "You still could - I'm not that fragile."

"Well..." I said, long and drawn out in a mocking tone.

She crossed her arms and pouted, "Hey, other than the cancer, I'm in perfectly good condition!"

"Maybe once you eat," I smirked, motioning towards the barely touched food on her plate.

She sighed, "It's really hard, Lou. The chemotherapy took away whatever appetite I had left, and to make it worse, I'm nauseous for hours after the treatment."

I gave her a weak smile and grabbed her hand, "I know it sucks now, but it's completely worth it. You're going to beat this."

"You know, sometimes I like to think that I'm strong enough to actually win this battle, and I really want to win, but other times..." he voice trailed off and she took a moment to collect herself before continuing, "I just worry about you guys."

"If you're that worried about us, you'll work on getting healthy," I said reassuringly, "Arguing about trying to make us leave you is pointless, you do know that, right?"

She took a deep breath and looked down, pushing the food around nervously with her fork, "I kind of figured that, but I hate it."

"What's so wrong about us staying with you?" I asked, "The fans, Simon, touring - it can all wait."

"I know, but it shouldn't have to..." she muttered, "Everyone says that I shouldn't be worried about this, but no one even bothers to hear my side of it."

"Go on, I'm listening," I said, "Tell me your side."

She looked up at me with a glimmer of hope in her eyes, "I am overcome with guilt. If I never came into your lives, you'd still be happy, worry-free, you'd still be out there on the road and living your dream. I feel like a monster for taking that away from you, I feel selfish... The truth is, I want nothing more than to stay with you, but I know how wrong it is, and the guilt is eating me up."