Breathing For This (Sequel To Trembling Hands)

Chapter Forty Five

Chapter Forty Five

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~ Brielle's POV ~

Today is the day.

I stood there awkwardly as strangers and distant relatives offered their apologizes for a tragedy they had no part in; "I'm sorry for your loss" - how do you respond to that? Thanks? Me too? The saddest part is that most of these people only knew the drunken, aggressive asshole who lost his wife, not the man who had changed his entire life for his daughter. I was well aware that my father was not liked in our community and had no true friends or close family. I knew that most of these people were here for me, the poor orphaned girl with cancer, and that was the furthest thing from comforting.

The boys and I took our seats in the front row; Niall on one side of me and Harry on the other, both holding my hands reassuringly. They didn't try to console me while I cried, staring at the closed casket in front of me, they let me have my moment and I was grateful for that. Originally I had wanted an open casket funeral, so I could have the chance to see him one last time, but Liam and the funeral director convinced me that his body was in no condition to be viewed - it would be too painful for anyone to see.

I half-listened as the preacher spoke about forgiveness and how everyone is offered redemption in Heaven, but I didn't believe a damn word of it. If there was really an all-loving God up there, then why does such horrible things happen to people who don't deserve them? Why do I have to lose everything before I can find this redemption? I had been broken far too many times to still believe that there is still hope for an afterlife.

Niall placed his hand on my back, "the funeral director wanted to see if you were ready to head over to the cemetery now"

Taking one last glance at the dark wooden coffin my father laid in, I nodded yes and followed Niall out to the car.

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~ Niall's POV ~

"For as much as it has pleased Almighty God to take out of this world the soul of Charley Korey, we therefore commit his body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust ..."

Brielle was quietly choking back sobs, clinging onto my side desperately seeking strength. I wrapped my arms around her as they lowered the casket into the ground where Charlie would rest forever, beside his beloved wife. There was a certain beauty in the moment. Charlie was finally reunited with the love of his life, and strangely enough, I was happy for him - I can't even imagine the pain he felt, being away from her, for all of these years. I truly believe he is at peace now.

A gentle breeze blew around us, sending shivers down my spine and goosebumps on my arms. Brielle's hair fluttered back and her long, black gown danced softly in the wind; her beauty cut right through the darkness surrounding us. She looked up at me in pain, her eyes swollen and red from crying, and I wanted so desperately to take away her suffering. "He loved you so much," I whispered, "don't ever forget that"

"I knew he did," she forced a smile through her tears, "I just can't - I mean - this just doesn't feel real. I just want to wake up."

"I know," I sighed sympathetically, "time is the only thing that will change that."

"I don't want to keep going without him," she cried.

I hugged her close to me, "but he would want you to."

She nodded into my chest, trying to calm her breathing. The funeral director handed each of us a rose. We watched as everyone took turns throwing the flowers into his grave and left to go home, back to their lives and families, a luxury that Brielle hasn't had in a very long time. Although Brielle considers the boys and I family, just as we do her, it could never replace the bond between a parent and their child, and no one knows that better than her.

When everyone was gone, the boys and I dropped our roses into the grave, and waited for Brielle to do the same. She stood there, grasping the red rose tightly, close to her chest, like a frightened child. Her body trembled as she took stepped closer towards her parent's grave. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, kissed the petals of the rose, and dropped it on the grave. The moment the rose fell from her hand was the moment she fell apart, kneeling down on the cold, wet ground, and burying her face in her hands.

I knelt down next to her and held her into my arms, the boys crouched down next to us and pulled us off the ground. Engulfing her in a group hug, we didn't rush her, we let her mourn.

"Can we please leave?" Brielle asked quietly, turning away and walking through the endless rows of graves, "I don't want to stay here anymore."

"Of course, love," Liam said, "we can go home now."

"I don't want to go home," she said, her pain-filled eyes meeting ours.

Louis gave her a confused look, "where do you want to go then?"

"Far away, back to England or Ireland maybe, just away from here, please?" she begged, "you can go on tour right now, I want to keep moving."

"We can't just schedule a tour right now, Brielle," Zayn explained, "It takes at least a month or two to sell the tickets and book venues."

"Please, Zayn, please," she pleaded, "I don't want to stay here, it's too hard for me."

"Okay, we'll book a flight to London for tomorrow morning," Harry said, "don't worry."

"I don't want to go home tonight," she cried softly.

"How about we find a hotel in Atlanta, and then we'll leave first thing in the morning?" Liam offered

She closed her eyes and nodded, visibly fighting back tears. I pulled her close to me once again and walked towards the car. I froze in my tracks when I noticed a small group of paparazzi flashing their obnoxious cameras at us - it was infuriating. How dare they come to a funeral to take pictures of us in our time of mourning.

Zayn bolted over to them, knocking their cameras out of the way, "what the fuck is wrong with you? Someone we cared about just died - we're at a funeral! Do you have any respect for privacy whatsoever?!"

"It's not worth it, Zayn" Liam said, pulling him back, "let's go."

"I'm so sorry, Brielle," I frowned, pulling her close to me, covering her face. She nodded and kept close to me.

We got in the car, and headed home to pick up our belongings before heading out to find a hotel in Atlanta for the night.