Breathing For This (Sequel To Trembling Hands)

Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty One

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~Niall’s POV~

I think the world just hates me. Every single time I think that it couldn’t possibly get any worse, the world proves me wrong. I guess it doesn’t even matter anymore because my world is ending.

I didn’t even know what to do with myself, I could feel tears streaming down my face, but I couldn’t move or even breathe. The only thing keeping me holding onto that last strand of sanity was the beautiful girl sobbing in my arms, MY beautiful girl. Her uneven breathing and muffled cries made my heart break all over again.

“I’m so sorry!” she cried, “I’m so, SO, sorry! I didn’t want this, not at all! I’m so sorry, please don’t be upset!”

“Why are you apologizing? This isn’t your fault at all, Brielle, you know that!” Zayn said, his voice shaking in pain

I finally tore my eyes away from her and looked into the eyes of my best friends. There wasn’t a single person who wasn’t crying, everyone was on the verge of losing it, but somehow we just all knew that we have to hold it together for Brielle.

“I don’t want to leave you!” she sobbed, her breathing getting heavier and her words barely comprehensible.

“You’re never going to leave us, Brielle, no matter what happens, you’re always going to be with us and we’re always going to love you” Liam said, barely managing to steady his voice.

“I’m so sorry that I cut myself, I just want to take it back so badly, I didn’t know that this would happen, I didn’t know how much you guys loved me, I didn’t know, I swear, I-I-I…” she sobbed

“Shhh” I whispered, holding her close to me and gently rubbing circles on her back, “We know you didn’t know, we know you want to take it back, but you can’t…. you just can’t…. I just wish I would have caught it before it was too late…”

“Niall! Don’t you dare blame yourself for my stupid mistake! Look at me right now!” she protested, turning my face, her watery eyes glaring into my own, “None of this is your fault and I don’t ever want you to feel even remotely guilty because the truth is there is nothing you, or anyone else, could have done to stop it”

“But I-“ I began

“No” she cut me off, “No, you couldn’t have done anything differently. It was my stupid habit that I intentionally hid from all of you. I know now that it was a mistake and I should have tried harder to stop, but it’s too late”

“I love you Brielle, I don’t want you to leave me” I cried

“I will never leave any of you” she said, “I swear I won’t”

“Are you scared?” Harry whimpered

“Of course I’m scared, Hazza” she sighed, “Who wouldn’t be? I’m scared that when I’m gone you won’t be okay, scared that I’m going to have last minute regrets, scared to not see you or hear your beautiful voices…”

“We’re going to be with you every step of the way” Liam promised

“Can you do me a favor?” she asked

“Anything” I breathed

“Call my dad” she sighed

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~Brielle’s POV~

I know they probably weren’t too keen on this idea, but how could I leave this earth knowing that my own flesh and blood hates me? I want to make things right with him once and for all, I want him to know I forgive him before I leave.