august || Taejin ✔✔

16.

AN:

I won't put a chapter title from now on as I am too lazy to think of a title. 😁

••••

Jin went to his clinic earlier than usual. Though his clinic hours would start two hours later, he preferred staying in his clinic rather than being confined in their shared apartment. He was a bit under the weather the past few days and somehow, being in his clinic made him preoccupied even for a while.

He halted as soon as he saw a man standing in front of his clinic. With a big bouquet in his arms. His heart ached once more just seeing the soft dimpled smile across the face of the man he loves.

Without saying a word, he walked past Namjoon. Opening the door of his clinic, turned on the lights, and opening again the door of the check-up area. After settling down, Namjoon slowly walked inside. A bit hesitant to even go near him. Namjoon carefully placed the flowers on Jin's desk. "Jin, I'm sorry. I tried coming to you that night but I was in the province. As soon as I got off the plane this morning, I rushed here. I would like to apologize for what I said. For deciding on something I shouldn't have. For being selfish and insensitive.

Jin, to be honest, I became overly selfish I forgot to consult you first. And I know I shouldn't have consulted you, I should have declined his request right away. But the thought of you being fired again consumed my decisions. I was so worried because I know this hospital, this clinic, your profession, makes you happy. But regardless, I made a mistake. And I'm sorry. I assure you, it won't happen again."

Jin felt a tear falling down his cheek. He immediately wiped it with his hand. Namjoon is his first love. He loved him half of his life. Maybe more than that. Since high school, he has had a huge crush on this man. Admiring the smile, he's being smart, his being athletic. Even though he never really attempted to stand for him when he was being bullied, he still like him. After meeting him again in an emergency room, they began to date and eventually, became a couple.

Jimin used to like them. He was so happy that his best friend met whom Jin considered his first love. But after years of dating, Namjoon started to lose his time for Jin. He rarely sees him. Often promised something and was broken, Jin would forgive him. And would only appear if he needed something. Whether it's about his sexual needs or financial needs. But more often, it was the latter. And it would happen again and again. Something Jimin didn't approve of.

Jin couldn't count how many times Jimin told him to break it up with Namjoon. Jin wanted to. He always feels he's not important. He's always taken for granted. He admits that he's stupid. He always forgive Namjoon. He always allow him to hurt him. But one smile, one sorry from Namjoon, Jin felt as if he's obliged to accept Namjoon all over again.

"I don't know, Namjoon. We're always like this. To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure if I have the right to get angry or to feel betrayed." Jin admitted. He knew he did Namjoon dirty. Something that had been bothering him for a long time.

"And what do you mean by that?" Namjoon curiously asked, sitting down on the chair in front of Jin's desk, and holding Jin's hands. "You have the right to get angry. I did you wrong. You can scream at me. Punch me. I will accept it. I deserve it."

Jin shook his head as tears began to flow again. His stomach lurching in guilt, nervousness, things he could not get a grasp of. "I cheated on you."

Namjoon's hands loosened around Jin's. He was shaken by what Jin had just admitted. If there's one thing he thought Jin wouldn't do, that would be cheating.

"That night when I lose my job and I called you, I decided to take an Uber. I was so drunk I thought the car that parked in front of the bar was my Uber. I rode it, I was brought into a building. I could not remember what building was that, what floor, who brought me there. There was a man in that room. I thought that man was you. I could not remember exactly what happened but I had sex with that--"

"Stop." Namjoon's voice was weirdly calm. But it was obvious that he was disappointed. It took a while before he finally was able to speak. "If you cannot remember exactly what happened, how can you say you had sex with him? Well, I don't want to know. Really. I don't like it. Who would? But what can I do? It already happened.

I'll be honest with you, you cheating is the last thing I know you're going to do. But given our situation the past few months, I'm sorry but I'm kind of expecting that once someone better comes into your life, I won't be surprised if you will choose the better. I've been very thoughtless, uncaring. I cannot blame you.

You have forgiven me so many times. How can I not forgive you now? I'm sure you didn't like what happened. It was all unintentional. Like what you said, and I was aware of that, you were so drunk. It was a mistake. I love you so much, Jin. I won't lie, it hurts. But losing you will cause me more. Let's just move on. Take one day at a time."

Jin once again fell weak. Namjoon is so good with words. And it's his weakness. Though he did not expect that Namjoon would forgive him that easily, he wasn't sure if he was happy or disappointed. There was a part of him who wanted to stay, and the other half wanted to let go so badly.

•••

Jin and Jimin were walking in the hospital lobby. Jin suddenly craved for a latte and Jimin wanted to eat some waffles. Agreeing to spend their break on one of the hospital's cafes.

As they head towards the shop, Jimin noticed a group of doctors walking towards them. He nudged Jin who was busy looking at his phone. When Jin lifted his head, he saw the Chairman approaching with his legion of doctors trailing behind.

But what caught his attention was the young man walking behind the Chairman. Taehyung was there and Jin started to get nervous. He felt an ounce of pain when he saw that Taehyung was walking with another man, a man Jin saw for the first time, arm hooked on Taehyung's arm.

Jin didn't realize that he was staring at the arms hooked with each other. His eyes slowly went to Taehyung who bore an impassive expression across his face, those piercing pair of eyes connected with Jin. Jin and Jimin bowed as the Chairman walked past them. But Jin's eyes were fixed on the pair of feet, noticing someone was standing in front of him, Jin looked up and a smiling Chairman greeted him.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Kim. How are you? It's been a while." The Chairman smiled at Jin who was obviously surprised by the Chairman's gesture.

Jin bowed once more before answering, "Good evening Chairman. I am doing well. How are you?"

"I'm doing well. Jungkook informed me that it's Sunoo's check-up tomorrow."

Jin nodded politely, head a bit low as a sign of respect, "Yes, Chairman. Sunoo is scheduled tomorrow at ten in the morning."

"Nice to hear. We'll go now. See you around."

Jin bowed once more as the Chairman, Taehyung, and the doctors walked past them. Still, Jin's eyes were fixed on the man's arm hooked on Taehyung's. But what bothered him was, Taehyung didn't even look at him but was busy talking to a man he was with.

"Ouch?" Jimin teased causing Jin to pout. "That's where your stupidity will bring you. In pain. If you break up with Namjoon long before, maybe you're already happy with Taehyung. But now, wipe your drool, cry and die in jealousy because Taehyung found someone else. Haist! Stupid Kim Seokjin."