You are my king, and you are my queen

Soukoku chapters VI

"So after your repeated denial of any sort of feelings, you went to buy matching watches for yourself and nakahara san."
"It means nothing! I just want to be nice to chibikko so he'll let his guard down and I can prank him again!"
Oda sighed, his face blank as he downed yet another glass of sake. It was not unbelievable, if the watches dazai had shown him weren't for lovers and were renowned for being gifts during confessions, like the rings given during marriage proposals. Good news is that it means dazai was considering the idea of confession, bad news was that knowing the man, he would back away on the day itself and there will be no new advances in their relationship unless once again, something happens. Oh what were the chances?
"Odasaku, should I put it in a box and give it personally? I don't want to seem too nice because chibi will get suspicious, but I still must do the part well!"
Oda had just about enough so he asked for the bottle of sake and drank directly, maybe he should go pray to the gods above for that 'something' to happen. At this rate, he was going to admit himself into an asylum, preferably after he finally got his friend and his crush together, and got at least one kiss with ango. Yes, he should probably find some asylums around the area that allows their patients to take care of their kids while inside the place.
"Ah! I should cover it in dog poop! That will definitely be the best answer, since chibi is a dog too!"
A top priority indeed, yes, he ought to find a relationship councillor or someone he could leave dazai in the hands of that has the capabilities to at least get some common sense of how one should treat their future lover into dazai's dense head. Dense as a rock it was definitely. May nakahara san be blessed with infinite tolerance and an adequate amount of love to make him blind to these faults of dazai, he was just emotionally constipated after all, the amount of love dazai held for the shorter man exceeded his intelligence, considering it has already clouded his mind enough to make him yap like a puppy.
Whipped he was, so damn whipped for nakahara san's ass. Oda sighed again as he emptied the bottle. He would probably be needing at least 5 more bottles to get through the evening. His alcohol consumption may have already increased by leaps and bounds when dazai had realised his feelings and started denying it, much less his current state of denial and pining.
"Good luck, nakahara san."
Oda murmured as he banged his head on the table, prepared to let dazai's whining go through one ear and out the other for at least the next hour, as well as to nod every once in a while. He should be paid for this, where was ango when he needed him? The pillar of stability, the epitome of calmness, oh brilliant now oda was pining for ango, the things dazai has done to his sanity.
(Congrats oda you will never be the same again)
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"There really is nothing here..."
About an hour of fruitless searching had gone by, Chuuya effortlessly tossing a broken pillar over his shoulder as he peeked underneath another pile of wreckage. After the concerning message from Amane, Chuuya mulled over it for a day, he didn't let it affect his work of course, before he decided to pay a visit to the area where the woman had supposedly died. The buildings had collapsed that day in a series of crashes, clangs and screams, pieces of walls, pillars, doors strewn around and along with dangerous shards of glass that covered nearly the entire southern area of the wreckage. Not a problem for his ability, but still he took note to tell the clean up squad to be wary of that area, can't have one of them tripping and falling into a glass ridden hell of pain and suffering.
It wasn't everyday Chuuya received such a strange information from Amane, but since she was also the one who informed mori of the identity of akui hanari, he checked the place out, yet to no avail. However, the warning, or advice as she called it, to wait a minute after the strange sound or whatnot and trust dazai after that was extremely peculiar, and he didn't understand a single word of it.
He threw another chunk of painted wall out of the wall, groaning as he stomped through the mess. There was nothing here, so he should probably go back.
Chuuya turned around and made his way back to his motorcycle, but a flash of silver out of the corner of his eye had him activating for the tainted sorrow just fast enough to catch the poison soaked dagger that had been aimed at him.
"So you really did come! Sad, I was hoping your dear partner would be with you, but I suppose one half is better than none."
Chuuya clicked his tongue in response, sending the dagger back only for it to caught by dainty fingers that did not fail to show the blood coating fair skin. What did he know, the one he was searching for came to him instead.
"What, you survived?"
"Did you expect me, the great Akui hanari, to be killed by a falling building? Why, the utter shame!"
Chuuya groaned in exasperation, this psychopath had almost the same energy as kaiji, apart from a few key differences, those two could be friends, the freaks. That hair flip made it even worse, and chuuya didn't miss the blood covering her entire body.
"Is that your blood or some unfortunate person's?"
Akui looked cluelessly at herself, apparently only just realising the scarlet liquid.
"...no idea, by the way, where's your partner, I need more of his blood."
"WHY WOULD I TELL YOU!"
She only cocked his head in confusion, seemingly befuddled as to why Chuuya wouldn't tell her.
"Because you're a nice person."
"Even the nicest person won't tell a psychopath like you, I hate dazai but only I can kill him."
"...are you saying that you think I'll kill him?"
"How would I know, you're the mass murderer here, you have triple my kill count."
"Really?"
Now, Chuuya may not be a demonic genius like dazai or a manipulation cunning boss like mori, but he did pride himself on his instincts and sixth sense, he'll never admit that to dazai of course, no need to sabotage himself, after all dazai will probably make fun of it by saying he's like an animal. However, his gut feeling only got more uncomfortable, and since he probably used his phone a bit much, he had no problem turning it on, finding dazai's contact number and typing out the code he and dazai had made, as well as his current location. He did it all behind his back while conversing with the psychopath, the only reason he hadn't attacked her yet, was to buy time for him to send the message.
Fortunately so, for it seems the other party had decided to stop the acting.
"Well, this has been a fun time, though it seems like I'll just have to get you first then hope your buddy comes to pick you up."
Suddenly, something wrapped around his neck, pulling hard and chuuya choked, hands instinctively rising up to try and tear it off, except that some kind of metal cuffs clasped around his wrists, and he could make out some kind of runes carved on the surface.
Immediately after it clicked tight around his wrists, the runes glowed bright, and excruciating pain flared up his spine, an inaudible scream coming from Chuuya as he sunk to the ground, passing out instantly.
"Hmm, that was easy~"
Akui picked the unconscious Chuuya up easily, glancing down at the phone that lay innocently on the floor and the motorcycle. Deciding to be cautious, this was soukoku she was dealing with after all, she dropped a metal coin with runes transcribed on its surface on the phone and placed one on the motorcycle as well, stepping further away just out of blast range. With a snap of her fingers and a glaring flash of light, both objects exploded in flames, successfully destroying both of them. However, unbeknownst to her, dazai had already gotten the message and was racing down to find Chuuya.
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"Odasaku~"
Dazai whined in a sing song voice, definitely drunk silly and he resigned himself to a horrid hangover the next morning, however oda only placed another glass in front of dazai before dropping his head on the table. Ango, who had just entered, looked exhaustedly at his two friends, only sighed as he took a seat beside oda, not moving or reacting when oda pushed himself up to lean his head on ango's shoulder.
"Oda san, are you alright?"
"Ango...can you smack dazai for me? He's been going on and on about nakahara san for 2 hours and I'm too tired..."
As oda requested, ango simply leant over and hit dazai on the head, not bothering to question oda's words, he came late on purpose to escape dazai's ramblings after all.
All of a sudden, a small ringing sounded from dazai's coat pocket, and since the man himself didn't seem to be making a move, ango gently shifted his position, oda groaning when he was forced to move, but ango only placed his head on his shoulder again after he had moved to the space between oda and dazai, taking dazai's phone from his coat, dazai too out of it to do anything.
He flipped it open to see a message from a contact named 'slug', probably nakahara san, knowing dazai's unique naming sense.
Only to be met by a peculiar sentence.
"Met with the hooded man, had some fun, and I need your love?"
Now ango was definitely not judging nakahara san, it was probably dazai's idea, but he still shook dazai roughly, well as roughly as he could with a heavy man leaning on him, ignoring the whining and shoving his phone in front of his face the minute dazai's eyes opened.
"Your lover just sent this."
"Chibi isn't my lover..."
Dazai grumbled as he tried to focus on the letters that seemed to be jumping around, ango didn't even question how dazai immediately knew it was nakahara san. Then again it wasn't like they talked about anyone else.
In a trice, dazai grabbed his phone and bolted out of the bar, stumbling over his feet a few times but still sprinting out at breakneck speed, leaving ango to sit there in confusion, wondering exactly what happened.
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AND ILL STOP HERE BECAUSE YES 😃😃😃 IM A HORRIBLE PERSON I KNOW BUT ODA AND ANGO ARE SO CUTE GOSH I DIDNT THINK THEY WOULD END UP BEING SUCH A CUTE SHIP 😩