problems 《k. bokuto》

ten

╰─▸ ❝ how does it feel to live my dream

"I'm going to say sorry a lot- so sorry about that," Mika said, pausing for a second, realizing what xey had just said.

"But uh, this is a personal subject to me- which is why I've been sort of avoiding you at some points- I hope you can hear me out."

Mika and Kōtarō were in the little secluded corner of the library where they would always study. Mika had sticky notes in front of xem, wanting to make sure she didn't miss anything."

"Of course," Kōtarō said. "I wouldn't want you to have to deal with it yourself. If you feel like you can tell me about it, I won't take it for granted. I want to know you, Mika."

Mika smiled, she was glad she was finally telling him.

"Well, first off, I would love it if you could use she/xey pronouns," xey said. "I didn't know when to tell you- but I guess I am now."

Kōtarō nodded, writing it down.

Mika concealed her smile when xey saw it, carrying on.

"And I guess if I'm opening up about everything," she sighed. "I think I'm asexual- sorry again. I dunno if that causes you to not like me as much- I understand."

Kōtarō laughed softly.

"Mika your sexual orientation doesn't affect how I feel about you. You're the same Mika I met not too long ago; you've just figured out more about yourself," he said. "Besides, I haven't really told anyone myself, but I'm omnisexual."

Mika nodded, glad they could finally be more transparent with each other. 

"The whole thing about me transferring to this school because of my ex-boyfriend is partially correct too," he carried on. "I don't know if you know him, but Akaashi Keiji- my setter in high school- we dated for a couple of months in high school, then a couple more in college.

"I didn't transfer because we broke up, we actually broke up a couple of months before I was offered a position here. I took the position which is why I transferred. But we're still good friends. I'm going off topic- I don't care what you identify as Mika. I'll always be interested in you."

Mika smiled, it was cheesy, but something she would expect from Kōtarō.

"I'm glad you feel comfortable telling me, I appreciate it," Mika smiled. "But do you remember when I asked you if you knew Semi Eita?"

Kōtarō nodded.

"Well, he was my boyfriend from our first year in high school- up until he died," she said quietly. Mika had made it that far, she wasn't going to look back. "His death was my fault, to be honest.

"It was June, about a month after we started college. I missed him, we had gone from seeing each other every day, to about once every two weeks, we went to different schools, so it was hard.

"One day I texted him, begging him to come and see me since I missed him so much. We were supposed to see each other that night, but I just was selfish and wanted to see him then. But since he came earlier that day, Eita still had homework to do, so he left- and then-"

Mika wiped a tear-off of her face, as more started streaming down.

"I got a call saying that he had gotten into a fatal crash, a drunk driver had hit him straight on. He passed away. That was almost two years ago, in about two weeks. If it wasn't for me," Mika said, "he would've still been alive. If I didn't insist on wanting to see him-"

Kōtarō walked over to xem, handing her a tissue.

"You can hug me if you want," she said through tears.