Found Hearts

6. Found eyes

"...you cry but you don't tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one. You're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone.." - Taylor Swift, Tied Together With A Smile.

HAPPY READING !

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As soon as we walked inside the house, Latika greeted us as she was sitting on the dining table, her laptop in front of her.

"Oh you are home," she said as she heard us walking in the room. 

I smiled at her, while Kabir didn't even acknowledge her and went to hang the car key.

"And your lehenga! Did you try it on there ?"

"No. Not really. He said I can try it comfortably at home, and then return if something needs to be altered although he's 'ten thousand percent sure' there won't be any need for that." I told her quoting the shopkeeper and she laughed.

"You both need a shower," she said with a small smile pointing out our drenched selves and I agreed.

"And a strong black coffee," Kabir spoke. "Please Latika"

She scowled. "I'm not your maid"

"I picked your best friend up on your demand," he said and I frowned.

Why does he always have to talk about me like I don't have a name? I shook my head leaving them to their banter, and walked towards the staircase.

As I walked past Kabir, I couldn't help but hiss "I have a name just so you know"

When I walked into my designated room and shut the door behind me, I took some deep breaths to calm myself down. Today had been draining. Both physically and emotionally even more so.

Taking a seat on the bed, I couldn't help but remember everything Kabir had said to me in the car. That stung, no shit. But he also didn't have any idea. Nor did anybody else including myself, except knowing that my dad did something and now he's paying the price for it. But still.. still when this ache increased putting pressure on my ribs, pressure on my thoughts to let it all out. I had no one to. Except Latika, and I didn't want to rant about how shitty I think my life is, when she's literally floating on a cloud nine of wedding and honeymoon planning these days. These were the times, when I wished more than anything, I had someone on my side who'd just sit and... listen.

I was finally free. Free from a home- no, free from a house, in no way it was a home after I lost mumma. And yet all I felt was this deep longing. Longing for just... someone. Someone who I could feel universe had made just for me, and made me just for him. But how long would it be until I find that someone. How long until I become blind, and close my senses to the beauty of love. How long until I lose these tit-bits of hope I've grabbed in my fists, and refuse to let go of.

I couldn't help but wonder if Raghav was that someone for me even though I knew he wasn't. He wouldn't listen, he'd distract. But I still couldn't help and think If he'd have listened to me if I would have vented it out to him and cried right now, about how life sucks, and how everything is just so fucked up and how I'm just a mess of emotions right now, and I wanted to do nothing instead of just cry and be held.

I wanted to be held so bad right now.

Taking a deep shaky breath, I pushed fistful of hair back from my forehead, as my throat closed up.

No we are not crying today. No. No. No. Please no. It's becoming a daily habit at this point.

You are drenched in rain, you need a shower. Stand up and go tidy yourself. I chastised myself, and walked towards the cupboard, in which I had kept all my clothes.