Entity

01

"U need to drink this in order to get out of the hospital,anak"my mom said.
"I don't want to,lagi niyo nalang yan sinasabi pero di naman ako gumagaling mama e."i said and a tears fell in my eyes.

Lagi nalang ako nasa hospital parang dito na ako nakatira,it feels like i was born to suffer with this disease and to be stuck with this shitty place.I envy those teenagers that was able to live like a normal kid while me....I'm stuck in this place ever since i was born.

I can't find the reason to live anymore,i feel empty everytime it feels like there's something missing.....I want to live but not this kind of living...It just feels i'm barely living waiting to die...

My Mom is a doctor,she's the director of this hospital,My dad is also a doctor the head of this hospital.And me I'm literally a patient it doesn't feel like living anymore and i'm tired.....physically & mentally & spiritually.

Can i just die?why do i need to suffer?do I deserve this?

Is everything worth it?

I planned to end my life and go to the rooftop to end this suffering of mine.

Tatalon na sana ako nang may boses akong narinig....

Boses ng lalake........

"Mabubuhay ka rin naman pag namatay ka,what's the point of ending ur life now e ganun pa rin naman mangyayari sa next life mo?stupid."He said.

Hinila niya ako pababa at napaupo ako at umiyak nalang upang ilabas ang lahat ng sama ng loob ko..

"Why is the world so harsh?"i said while crying."Hindi ko naman pinangarap na mabuhay pero bakit ganun?bakit pa ako nabuhay kung ganito lang din ang aking pamumuhay?I feel like a living corpse all the time."My voice cracked.

The boy stare at me,his eyes doesn't have an emotion,it's hard to read his mind.He give me a bottle of water and tumabi sakin.

"What?"He said.
"Nothing"I said.

I drink that bottle of water he gave to me and kumalma na ako,He have a point din naman.Mabubuhay lang din naman ako next life and eto rin mangyayari.I just don't know what to feel anymore.

"Matagal ka nang andito?"he asked.
"Yeah u could say that,ever since i was born dito na ako.Eto na ata tahanan ko e"I laughed bitterly.
"Daldal."he said sabay tayo para umalis.
"Hey!where r you going?"i said patayo na rin.

"To my room"he said ang tuluyan nang umalis.

"I'm all alone again."I said while putting the bottle in the trashcan.

But thanks to him, i didn't end the story in my life,Btw his eyes...his eyes is sad..And his back looks lonely.It feels like we're in the same situation but i admire him...He's so strong.....

"Madam!!san ka galing!!jusko pinagalala mo ako!"Tiya Gia said.
"Nagpapahangin lang po." I lied.

Bumalik na ako sa kwarto ko,may tv,wifi and a v.i.p room,pinaghanda na ako ni tiya gia ng pagkain pero wala akong gana kumain because everytime na kakain ako parang nasusuka ako at sumasakit tiyan ko...Pero pinipilit ko pa rin kasi papagalitan ako ni mama pag hindi ako kumain...

"Ay oo nga pala,nakita ko si Ryu na lumabas din galing sa rooftop.Nagkita na ba kayo?"tiya gia said.
"Ryu?"I said confused.
"Yung lalaking nasa rooftop,ija!"Tiya gia said.
"Ryu??Yun pangalan niya??"I asked happily.
"Yes"
"Kilala mo po siya,tiya??" I asked once again but have more energy.

I saw tiya gia in the verge of crying,so i was shocked and worried.Did i do someting bad?Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit kaya naguluhan ako lalo,hindi alam ang gagawin.

"Matagal ko nang hindi nakita yang mga ngiti mo"her voice cracked.

My world stopped for a moment.Did i smile? I smiled? Because of ryu?

"Please clea,Fight okay?"Tiya gia said while holding my hands and her eyes is full of hope."I...I will.." i said.

Little did she know that I tried to end my life kanina.I feel guilty...

"Kilala ko si Ryu kasi kaibigan ko yung yaya niya,I heard he have a cancer...."my tiya gia said.

And i feel sad for him kasi cancer is a really hard battle....

Gabi na naman,I decided to visit the rooftop...Para magpahangin..

I saw Ryu.....

crying.........

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