The chemo was definitely worse than before, and almost all of Ashley's hair was gone. Hats had become her new best friend. She barely got out of bed, and it wasn't by choice. This was turning out to be much harder than we anticipated, and you could tell she was struggling. I dropped by as often as I could, but it seemed that every time I was there she looked just a little bit worse than before. I came on Saturday as I always did, because that was our designated movie night.
"Hey Sam," Ashley said as I walked in.
"Hey baldy," I said with a grin. Ashley knows I'm only kidding, and it's become a running joke between the two of us at this point.
"What are the movie choices tonight?"
"Pitch Perfect, Bridesmaids, Magic Mike, or The Devil Wears Prada."
"Isn't it obvious?" Ashley said.
"Devil Wears Prada?"
"Of course," she said with a grin.
I put the movie into the DVD player and settled into the bean bag chair by her bed. Her room had become quite cozy, or as cozy as a hospital room can get. I knew Ashley would be asleep within about thirty minutes of the movie starting, but it was fine with me. I'd just read my book or finish up homework anyway, I definitely didn't mind her resting.
"Sam?" Ashley said, about an hour into the movie, sounding tired.
"Mhm?" I said, only halfway paying attention because I was in the middle of a math problem.
"If I get through this, we're getting an apartment, in New York. I don't care how many loans we have to take out, but we're getting one."
"Alright Ash, whatever you want," I said, smiling.
It was sad, really, because I had so many doubts that we'd ever get that apartment.
"I'm looking forward to it," she said.
"Yeah, me too."
The next morning, I woke up with a notebook on my face and my homework strewn all over the floor. I glanced at the wall clock and saw it was only 7 in the morning. I looked over to see if Ashley was awake, and saw that she was still fast asleep. I packed up all my papers and opened my book. Nothing too interesting, just an old one I found on my bookshelf. My phone buzzed, and it was Madison.
Madison: Hey. How is she?
Me: Decent enough, still sleeping. What do you need?
Madison: New movie I want to see is coming out. thought you might wanna come? starts at 3.
Me: sounds good, text me with more details later.
The movies sounded great, and Madison wasn't into romance stuff so I knew it'd be a comedy. Just what I needed. I wrote Ashley a little note saying I'd be back sometime soon and started to leave. Someone slammed into me just as I turned down the hallway. Was I just a big magnet or what, cause this happened way too often.
"Wow Sam I'm really sorry."
Damn. I knew that voice.
"It's fine, Eli. Ashley's resting so don't wake her."
"Wait up a minute," he practically pouted.
I turned around to face him. His hair has grown a little more, so now it was just above his eyebrows, and he was wearing the UNC hoody I loved so dearly.
"What do you need?" I asked, trying to sound at least a little bit civil.
"I've gotta know."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, completely confused.
"You either love me or you hate me, and right now it seems that you hate me. There is no in between, there is no going back to being best friends. It's either us or its nothing and I've gotta know if you love me as much as I love you Sam."
He really was an idiot. What he didn't know was that I didn't love him as much as he loved me. I loved him so much more than he could ever love me because for the longest time now Eli was the only guy I saw that meant anything.
"So you do?" He asked.
"Where'd you get that impression? I asked.
"You scrunch your eyebrows together when you know the answer but aren't saying it and I'm just kind of praying that the answer is you do love me," he said with that lopsided grin.
That grin was enough for me.
"Of course I do, dork," I said, and we stood their in the middle of the hallway looking like a pair of lovesick fools.
"Well thank the fucking Lord!" Ashley yelled from her room.
