Letters to Society

Chapter 11: A Blue and White Hell

I took Ashley to her first doctors appointment this morning. We walked into the treatment center and were greeted by an extremely cheery nurse and the harsh smells of cleaning chemicals.

"Hellooo! How are you two lovely girls today?" said the nurse.

Ashley and I exchanged a look, both of us trying our hardest not to bust out laughing.

"We're doing fine. And you?" I said.

"I'm super! Thank you for asking sweetie! You're Ms. Benson, aren't you? My names Cindy, it's a pleasure," said Cindy to Ashley.

"You can call me Ashley. It's nice to meet you as well," said Ashley, rather politely, to my surprise. She gave me a smirk as Cindy led us to a room farther back in the building, knowing just how surprised I was. We walked into a room that looked just as you would imagine a cancer treatment center room would look. Sterile, white, and blue, with some fish painted on the wall in an attempt to brighten the feel of the room.

"Unfortunately," Cindy said,"I will not be your nurse. Another nice lady named Nicole is going to be the nurse with you for the entire process. I'll see you around, Ms. Benson." She turned and walked out.

Ashley looked at me with a straight face and said," That bitch still called me Ms. Benson even after I told her to call me Ashley!"

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my entire life. Here we are in a whole new kind of hell, and she's making fun of the nurse. We laughed until we cried and we didn't stop laughing until there was a knock on the door. A woman with long, dark hair that looked to be in her twenties walked in the room. Ashley and I composed ourselves and looked up.

"Hey, my names Nicole. I'll be your nurse. Which one of you is Ashley?" she asked. Obviously, she wasn't one for small talk as Cindy had been.

"That would be me," Ashley said.

Nicole sat down and looked at the both of us for a long moment.

"Well, you're obviously not the mom," Nicole said, looking at me,"so I'm going to guess you're either the best friend or the sister. Which one would it be?" She asked.

"The best friend," I said, a bit stunned at her boldness.

"I figured. Y'all don't look much alike. So, here's the deal. If you haven't already noticed, I'm no Cindy. I'm not going to sugar coat anything for you, and you're not going to get offended. If we both do those things, the three of us will get along fine. Agreed?" She stated bluntly.

Ashley and I looked at each other, stunned, but impressed.

"I think we'll get along fine then," I said, and Ashley nodded in agreement.

"Great. So I guess you won't mind me telling you the whole situation. Your cancers bad. It's spreading fast, and there's a slim to none chance you'll make it. The treatment is going to be brutal and you're probably going to wish you were dead at some point in the process. Losing hope is going to be your worst enemy. If you don't have faith and you don't stay strong and fight thi I promise you, you won't even have a chance at beating this," she said solemnly.

Ashley had tears streaming down her face again. I grabbed her hand and tried to calm her down.

"I know she can do this. Just tell me how I can help and what she's got to do," I said. Nicole stood up and kneeled down in front of Ashley. She tilted Ashley's head up so she was forced to meet her eyes.

"Ashley, I can see you're a strong girl. I've seen people just like you beat this. My best friend had cancer as well, and she recovered. She was diagnosed as cancer free seven years ago. She's 24. I know you can do this. I also know that you have a best friend who just drove you two and a half hours to your appointment, so she's probably pretty willing to do anything for you. Believe in yourself, and you will beat this. Dry those tears, we've got shit to do!" She said.

Ashley smiled and looked at me.

"I think this nurse is pretty damn smart," I said with a laugh. We all laughed at that, and then Nicole started telling Ashley some of the medicines she would have to receive in the months to come. Through the whole explanation, Ashley held onto my hand like it was her lifeline. Nicole brought up chemo, and Ashley started to cry again. I gave her hand a squeeze, and she looked at me.

I have her a small smile and said," Don't think I don't know your crying because your hair won't look quite as beautiful as it usually does."

Ashley laughed and leaned over to give me a hug. I met Nicole's eyes and mouthed the words "thank you". She nodded her head and gave me a look that said "don't thank me yet".