Blue Moon || Hoonsuk AU

Chapter 1

"Park Jihoon, I love you" My heart thumping so fast. Fast enough to make my whole body shiver. I finally mutter my courageousness to confess to my crush. I steal a glance at him, nervously. Park Jihoon is, the same age as me, but so much taller and bulkier. Despite having such a bulky body, he has such a babyface. His eyes widened with his mouth gaping a bit. Surely, he was shocked by the sudden confession. He then scratch his head, sheepishly smile.

"Uhm Hyunsuk, I am sorry but I already have a lover" That moment, I feel like my whole world collapsed. I already noticed that not even on the blue moon, he will accept my feeling. Jihoon is always sunlight in my eye. He could be the core reason for everything that happens in my life. His existence himself was enough to make me feel alive. Looking at how stupidly his face is right now with his hand still on his head. I hit his shoulder.

"HAHAHAHAHA! What was that mean?" I force a peal of laughter. Knowing Jihoon, he will feel bad for rejecting me. He tilted his head, in confusion. His stupid smile is faded.

"What? Are you joking?" He grabbed my shoulders firmly. Wiping a drop of tear from the corner of my eyes, I answered him "Well not really, I love you but as a friend of course. What are you worked up so much?"   When I feel the tears dam on the verge of breaking, I wonder what tear is that? Are that sad tears? Happy tears? Nervous tears? I don't know but as far as I know, my chest throbbing so much. I can't lift my head. When Jihoon said he has a lover, does he mean it? Did he 'joking' too? I can't think of anything. My head is fuzzy. Again, I keep myself together and look at him.

"So, who's that lucky person?" I bring a glass of beer to my mouth. It is sweet. Maybe my tongue is numb to the taste. Like a happy puppy hearing the sounds of its owner calling him, Jihoon turns his head quickly at me. His circle dark brown eyes sparkling. How can I not love him? His small lips then create a smile.

"Mashiho" is The name of the person that successfully enter Jihoon's heart. I wonder what kind of person he is? Is he good enough to make Jihoon fall hard this way? Must be good to be him. I let out a chuckle.

"Well, tell me about how perfect your lover is" It hurts to force a smile when you aren't happy. Hearing your crush babbling happily about his lover. What a lame life I am going through right now.

We sat at the same table but we are obviously at the different poles of emotions. Everyone in this bar could see how bright and sparkling his aura is. As to how happy he is talking about his lover, his eyes curve upward. While me, filled with gloomy aura. At this moment I think I am a fool. Yeah, a fool in love.

That night passed with mixed emotions of both of me and my unrequited love. I guess Jihoon must be happy that just by telling me about his lover, his mood changes rapidly. Must be nice. His lover is so lucky. His boyfriend loves him so much to the point he could never stop talking about him.

At this moment, I think it's fine. It's alright if Jihoon didn't return my feelings as long as he is by my side. Everything gonna be fine. It's okay to be sad as long as Jihoon is happy. All I must see is happy Jihoon. That's all I hope. Until one day, he ran happily towards me. With a big smile on his face. His hair flutter. How I wish I could wait for him at this side with open arms. So, that I can embrace him and tell him I love him repeatedly. Well, again only to break me up, it's just an image that maybe not gonna happen even on a blue moon.

"Jihoon, slow down what if you're trip" He just smiled in my direction while running at a slower pace. God, if I can't make him mine can you just take my breath away? He crouch down a bit with both of his hands on his knees the moment he was right in front of me. He panting so hard. I bring my hand to pat his back but I couldn't do it. What if I wanted more? He's someone else's.

"So what's up?" He takes a deep breath and fixes his stances. A petal of snow touches the tip of Jihoon's nose. His eyes sparkling so bright. Is this because of the reflection of the snow? Or the news that make him run all over his place to mine? Either way, I love both.

"I'll go to Japan next week" is A phrase that never crosses my mind. Maybe, this is a vacation. Well, it's not like Jihoon's family in a financial situation. They're doing well.

"For a vacation?" I tried to suppress my nervousness with a smile. Again, in my sadness, Jihoon always shows his bright smile that I making me forget how much devastated I am due to this stupid feeling of mine.

"I'm gonna live there" I don't know if my head is ringing or it's the sounds of bell jingling in the nearby stores but it's too loud. Jihoon's lips keep on moving babbling words I couldn't hear.

"Why?" I covered my mouth. What a stupid mouth. Why I am asking that? Of course, he has his reason.

"I apply for a job there. Well, Mashiho lives there too. He suggested that we should live together. Haah I am so happy" Why can't I just act like a normal friend who congratulates his friend over their good news? I should create a smile and congratulate him. I must be happy for him. He waiting for this moment. Jihoon will be happy forever. I scolded myself for being greedy all this time. My lips quivered. My chest stifling by unnamed feeling. I swallowed it hard to make it not obvious in Jihoon's eyes.

"I am happy for you" Finally, I able to say those words with a smile at them. Hearing a loud and energetic thank you from Jihoon was enough to make me bite my inner bottom lips.

"Jihoon, I am tired. Sorry I couldn't have a drink with you tonight. I must go home now" I said to him after I swallowed all that nasty feeling.

"Oh, man, it sucks. Well, you might need a rest. Hey, Hyunsuk, thanks for everything. See me off to Japan next week" All I could do was just nod. The moment I turn my back, the tears that have been on the brink of break finally rush down my cheeks. The only sound I could hear is my sobbing.

Days pass by. Today is the day of Jihoon's departure to Japan. Since that day, I avoided meeting him. I, as his one and only friend, failed to do my duty. Well, it's good rather than him seeing me with my depressed face while he is head over heels towards his lover.

Marked that day, the day he happily told me he is moving to his lover's country is the last day I met him. Park Jihoon, may all happiness in this world belongs to you.