Blue Moon || Hoonsuk AU

Chapter 6

A few days pass since the night I talk with Kim. Since that day too, I haven't set my foot at the bar. I don't have any courage to face him. I busied myself with office works to distract my mind. For some people, working too much could lead to stress, but for me, working and making myself busy is such a great escape from the suck reality I faced. Well, it is quite beneficial for me, within a short period in the company, I already pose a high position.

I take a glimpse at the window it's raining cat and dog outside. Some droplets of water dripping from the sky hit the roof, then dripped down to the ground. The digital clock on the countertop of my living room shows 9:30 pm. Still quite early for my sleeping time. Plus, it's the weekend tomorrow.

"So, today is the day," I look at my phone no single message from Jihoon. Tch! What I am expecting. He surely had a great time with his lover. I remember how happy he is when he told me that his lover gonna come here.

"Mashiho finally coming here! I can't wait to see you meet him." That what was Jihoon said over the phone last time. Of course, thinking of me as a friend, he wants his lover to meet his friend. Will that guy gonna be happy to see me while I am yearning for his boyfriend's love? If I was him, I certainly despise myself.

"Yeah? Was this is the first time he comes here?" I asked showing my concern. I couldn't see him, but I can tell he must be nodding aggressively with a big smile on his face when he said. "Yeah, hahaha. Please be nice to him and show him around later!"

"Yea. Got to hang up" I ended the phone call. I am glad he didn't tell me straight to my face about his lover's visit. I surely don't know what face should I use when I heard about it.

Just the thought of Jihoon laughing with his lover was enough to make my heart hurt. It feels like a lot of needles pricking my chest, deep and many times till it bleeding. What kinda remedies should I take to heal the wounds? Can I just take a big sword and stab my chest? So at least, I would feel less pain and die silently. My head spinning. When I tried to close my eyes, my throbbing chest jumped at a high speed upon hearing the doorbells ringing.

"Who is?" I ignored it, probably a salesperson or a drunk neighbor. They will eventually stop. I thought. It rang a few times. What a persistent person. When I stepped my feet to the door to chase them away, my heart feel like jump out of my ribcage when the ringing sounds changed to knocking sounds.

"Hyunsuk~" a familiar mumbling voice. The adrenaline rush through my vein. My heart thumped at a maximum speed. My hands shake as I try to unlock the door. My face probably has no single liter of blood left when I see soaking wet Jihoon in front of me.

"JIHOON!!! The heck. Why are you soaking wet? Are you get caught in the rain?" My eyes widened. Not only does he looks miserable, but he also reeks of alcohol. Every negative thought came to my head. My eyes widened when he pushed his body onto mine. Not knowing how to react, I was stunned with my eyes open wide and mouth gaping. My hand flailing in the air not knowing what should I do. Should I hug him back? Should I pat his head? Or should I let him lean on me until he pushes me away? Or should I be the one who pushes him away? What should I do?

Jihoon's body shaking. Thought he was cold since he's get caught in the rain.

"Stupid, of course, I should dry him up first." I hit my head. "Ji-Jihoon?" I grab his shoulder using my shaky hands so I can see Jihoon's face. I could hear incoherent mumbling sounds from Jihoon. "I- I..." His words broke up and all he could say were stuttering sounds. My heart broke to pieces when I started to see beads of tears running down to Jihoon's cheek. I don't know what to do. My head is a mess. I bit my lower lip and met my eyebrow.

"Come here." I grab his wrist and bring him to the bathtub, stripping him and giving him a dry baggage hoodie as a change. Then, I let him sit on the couch.  His choppy breathing and watery eyes remained for quite some time, and he sat there unmoving. I wonder what happened. Do I have the right to ask him? I frankly want to embrace him and comfort him, tell him what he wants to hear but what has happened to him? A drunk and soaking wet Jihoon appears on my door the day he is supposed to see his lover.

"It's ended. Everything ended, Hyunsuk." My head stopped moving. The silence after Jihoon says that words are so loud. I could hear our breath and the ticking sounds of the clock. He bit his bottom lips maybe to stop sobbing sounds from escaping his mouth. Tears slid down his face. He brings both of his hands to his face, cuffed his face using his big hands. A great tremor overtook him. His body was wracked with an onslaught of sobs and tears. I couldn't help seeing how helpless he is right now. I tugged him into my embrace. Letting him rest his head on my shoulder. Thought looking at Jihoon talking about his lover hurt me so much, but looking at him right now hurt me more. I prayed to God to give all of his sadness to me. Let me alone feel the sadness. He could hold the heartbreak no longer and he leaned his head on my shoulder in a disheveled heap as his grief poured out in a flood of uncontrollable tears. I pat the back of his head and tell him, "It's alright".

Jihoon, just cry as much as you want on my shoulder tonight and promise me, you will never shed any hurtful tears started tomorrow. I am sorry for not being there with you just now. I am sorry, Jihoon. Along with the fast-flowing of the rain outside, Jihoon's tears flow non-stop. He didn't say a word and just cried. Probably tired after all of the cries, he fall asleep on my shoulder. Slowly, I moved his body away and leaned him on the couch. Making sure he fell in deep sleep, I move to grab a blanket for him. Hope the next morning, I could see the bright and radiant sun. Sleep well, Jihoon.