"Mr Morgan!" The demon stood up from behind the desk and extended a clawed hand towards the new arrival in an attempt at bonhomie. "Please! Sit down!"
Mr Morgan did as he was asked, settling his naked frame onto the mock-Bauhaus chair in front of him. He looked around the office, taking in the combination of Modern Chic and Corporate bland decor. "I wasn't expecting this," he mumbled.
"This?" The demon looked around as if seeing the office for the first time. "Oh, no. We got rid of the fire and brimstone years ago. All part of our rebranding. We do still have some if ... ?" The demon gave Mr Morgan a questioning look.
"N-no. I'm fine." Mr Morgan crossed his arms in an attempt to hide his nakedness.
"Ah." The demon smiled, pleased to be back in control. "This is your placement interview. You see , we have to find out where you would best fit as one of the Damned." There was a blue, sulphurous flash, and a thick, buff cardboard folder appeared on the demon's desk. "As you can see, Mr Morgan, we have taken an interest in you."
Mr Morgan began to sweat - something he always did when nervous. "Really?" he said in an uncertain tone.
"Really." The demon opened the folder. "And it makes for fascinating reading. You know," the demon leaned forward and smiled a fang-filled grin, "you have quite a following in some circles." It passed a stapled sheaf of paper across the desk.
Mr Morgan took the pages and leafed through them. His eyes widened in surprise and fear. "But this is - !"
"Everything you've ever done." The demon nodded. "Oh yes. Even I have to admit to being impressed."
"I-I can explain,: Mr Morgan began.
The demon raised his hand to cut off the flow of excuses. "No need. As you can see, we know exactly what you were thinking at the time, how you justified it to yourself. All of it."
Mr Morgan slumped back into the vinyl upholstery of the chair. "So, I'm damned."
"You are indeed one of the Damned. By thought, by word and by deed - to coin a phrase."
"So, what happens to me?"
The demon took back the folder, which vanished back to whence it had come. "Well, Mr Morgan, given you are such a fine example of petty spite, hypocrisy and mean bastardry; such a perfect example of mundane evil; we thought we might offer you an internship." The demon steepled its fingers, the ivory claws clicking as they came together. "What do you say?"
Mr Morgan sat up and looked the demon in its eyes. "Tell me more."
