Apricots In The Afternoons

I Envisioned Her

A warm hug,

A beckoning roar,

For my beloved.

Death as I call her.

I greet her with a smile,

In my blood drenched clothes.

She glows so bright,

Blinding my soul.

I envisioned her.

Multiple times;

Some day in my sleep she could come,

Or make my husband her pawn.

She could have come anytime,

Any day she liked,

I would have always welcomed her.

I thought I had seen her as a child,

Or maybe a glimpse of her.

I have waited long enough.

I had grown tired of the cycle we call life.

"I am so happy to make you mine",

I say as she engulfs my soul.

Such a cliché,

I expected more.

Perhaps an overdose,

Or a catastrophe,

But it seems better to be in control.

I planned it all so very well,

So perfect.

I grin at my cold lifeless body,

All that pain was worth it.

I am moving to a place far beyond,

Maybe I could call this my home?