After explaining what happened to Ash and Luke I couldn't really get through my head why Emily would do that. But then again I don't know her. Well I know her now and all I can say is that I have a deep passion of hatred towards her.
"Wow, she said she liked me?" Luke States into blank space.
"Are you seriously only thinking about that part Luke? She used Ashton for god sake!" I snap and not even sure why.
"Skylar calm down, it's over and done with" Ashton taps me on the shoulder.
"Skylar I didn't mean it like that" Luke tries to grab my hand but I back off.
"Sure you didn't" I say sarcastically
"I honestly didn't" he puts his head down.
Luke is just as moody as me.
"Luke how can you be so stupid this whole time she was in love with you!" I yell
"Because I wasnt in love with her, I don't get why you're being like this, you're over reacting" He pulls his hands up in frustration
"Do you realise what she said! That she is fucking better than me and it's true. I'm sick and tired of everyone think I'm not good enough for you!"
"We've been through this so many times Skylar, you're the only one I want so why can't you get that?"
"Because I get told it almost everyday" I burst into tears.
"Don't cry" Luke leans in to hug me.
"No fuck off" I yell
"Skylar calm down!" Ashton tried to say again.
"No I will not calm down! So don't tell me to fucking calm down Ash! I have a right to be mad and I don't get why you're not raging with me!" I storm off out the door.
This is the second time I have walked away from my problems with the boys. I honestly don't get why I am so mad. I guess maybe jealousy was a big part. What if Luke loved Emily back, he could of lied when I asked him if he had feelings for her.
I remember back to what happened last time I ran out the door and I don't want time to repeat itself so I just sit on the porch alone with my thoughts. I can here voices from inside. It was the boys arguing about who should go talk to me. Before they came to their conclusion I open the door.
"Sorry guys, I'm just going to go shower away my anger, no need to come talk to me and honestly I don't get why you were arguing about who should come talk to me, it obviously should of been the one who loved me most" I walk up stares to the bathroom.
Someone knocked on the door as soon has I got in the shower. "I don't want to talk to you" I yell even though I had no idea who it was.
"Yes you do, it's Jess, mind if I come in" she opens the door.
Lucky you can't see anything inside the shower because of the black shower curtain otherwise this would of been extremely awkward.
"I don't know where to sit so I'm just going to sit on the toilet" she laughs.
I still don't talk.
"Look I know what happened, I'd be mad too but I don't want to leave you here without knowing everything is okay, I have grown to like you so much Skylar, you're like my sister and you've helped so much in the past and I really need you to be okay" she takes a deep breath. "I've never really had anyone before to talk to so I'd appreciate if you would say something"
"I don't know what's happening Jess" I turn off the shower and grab my towel and wrap it around me securely.
"To be honest I think you just need space" she smiles softly. "Do you want to come with me to see my parents?"
"I'm meant to keep an eye on Michael for you" I tie my hair up.
"I trust him more now, and if both our boyfriends do something at least we will still have each other" she tries to say confidently.
"I don't know Jess, it's a great thought but.."
"But nothing, we could go have spa days, my parents will pay for everything, come on Skylar you deserve it" she cuts me off.
"But you leave in like 2 days"
"Why are you trying talk yourself out of wanting to go? Just go get dressed I'll see you down stairs."
I do as she says. I put on my pyjamas and head down stairs. Everyone was sitting on the couch staring at me, it felt like an intervention.
"Skylar can we talk please?" Luke points me too the kitchen. I nod and follow him to the kitchen.
"Luke I-" I try to say
"I'm just as overwhelmed as you are and I am sorry okay?" He cuts me off.
"You're not the one who should be saying sorry, I should be, so I'm sorry for telling you to fuck off and I am sorry for over reacting, you were right. I'm just so scared of you leaving me for someone else."
He doesn't say anything.
"Do you feel like things are different between us?" I try to hold back tears.
I can't deny these feelings anymore I have pushed them a side for way to long. Ever since the accident, ever since I lost the baby things haven't been the same. I am not saying that I have lost feelings for Luke I'm saying that I have loved him to much and maybe space is what I did need to give me time to miss him.
"Of corse things feel different between us Babe, we almost had a family together but I still love you so much and I don't want things to get bad. I need you" he puts his head on my shoulder.
I am now in tears. This isn't easy, being in love so much. It kind of hurts to feel this way about everything.
"This is so confusing I don't even get why this is so hard for us" I pull him into a warm embrace.
"Because you gotta fight for what you want, life just doesn't let us have it easy all the time"
"I think I'm going to go with Jess, I think it's for the best of us"
"That's okay. I understand I really do. But what if you come back and still feel the same way?"
"I guess maybe it will time to go home"
"But this is your home, home is where I am remember?"
"I remember. Can I ask you something?"
"No need to ask Skylar"
"Did you lie when you said you've never had feelings for Emily?"
"Honest to god Skylar I've never had feelings for her, so if you're worrying about me getting with her while you're away, don't. Because I love you and there is no way in hell that I am going to screw up what we have because you and I both know we're meant to be together. I will never leave you for anyone else" Luke's lips connect to mine as he pulls away I could see the lust in his eyes.
*****
"Have fun Skylar" Luke waves to me as Jess and I hop in a cab to the air port. I'm not going to lie I am extremely excited and I've never had a best friend like Jess before.
"Bye" I wave to everyone.
Last time I was on a plane i met the most amazing guy possible. I really hope everything works out, I do not want to go home. I promised the boys that I'll be blogging my trip and posting it online. I started my channel and I have almost 5000 subscribers already thanks to the TV interview a few weeks ago. I've posted a few covers without Luke and some with him. I have noticed recently Luke was keen on doing his own thing with the boys. They think I don't know but I know they have created a band together which I think is great.
"Thank you so much Jess!" I smile as we take off.
"You're welcome Skylar" she smiles back.
