The 3 weeks spent with Jess were amazing. Her parents were really sweet and they seemed to have liked me because they kept talking to me all the time which was great because I've never really had parent figures in my life.
And yes I missed Luke. I missed the way he'd wake up before to do his hair, I missed the way he'd say he loved me, I missed his touch, his voice, I missed him all together, the little things and the big things.
I really did need this holiday for myself and for everyone else around me. I needed this before anything got out of hand.
I could see that Jess was missing Michael too. When she told her parents about Michael they practically congratulated her on finally opening up and getting out there. It was good to see parents like that.
Jess and I didn't tell anyone what day we were coming back only because we wanted to surprise the boys. So when we arrived at the front door we decided not to knock and just walk in.
Everything seemed pretty normal. I could hear the boys all playing in the lounge room. My nerves kicked in when Jess yells "Skylar I thought you said you liked that guy" I practically hit her. "She joking!" I yell back.
"SKYLAR!" Luke yells. Getting up and kissing me right away.
"Jess" Michael follows Luke's actions.
"Let's go talk" I say to Luke.
He follows me up to our bedroom. When I open the door it's exactly what it looks like when I left a few weeks ago.
"So-" I kiss Luke before he could continue on what to say. "I take that as a you missed me" he says between kisses.
"Luke, I'm so sorry and I have missed you so much. I've had time to think about things and you're right. We need each other. And I know about your band with the boys and I get why you kept it a secret because you probably thought that you were obligated to be with me, but that's not the case at all, feel free to do whatever you want I honestly don't care as long as we have each other" I back away to finally do what I have been waiting for.
Someone knocks on the door. "Um sorry to interrupt but your sister is on the phone and she has some really important stuff to tell you, she's been calling for weeks" Cal comes in.
"Hello?" I speak into the phone
"Finally I have been trying to speak to you for ages" Tessa speaks up.
"What is it?" I say. My confusion now growing.
"Okay I'm just going to say it. Mum had an affair on dad and you were the outcome. And that why she's so rude to you. Dad knew and everything that's why he drank a lot."
"Wait what?"
"You are not dads child, I don't even know who your father is!" She yells "mum was a slut, I've been trying to tell you that, I feel so much better now that I have told you"
"Wow this is a lot for me to take in, how are you?" I ask
"I'm good I don't live at home anymore"
"That's good, anyway thanks for telling me, I have to go bye"
"Bye"
Holy cow. This explains everything. I kinda want a DNA test and see who my father is. Is it bad to feel like my childhood was a lie?
"What did she want?" Luke asks
After I explained everything Luke was just as curious as me. "We can go tomorrow if you want" Luke shrugs.
"Yeah" I nod. "Thanks"
Luke and I are now left alone in our bedroom again.
"I think it's my turn to talk" Luke takes a deep breath. I nod.
"The band was a secret because it was meant to be a surprise." He laughs "but anyway, we need to just let everything go and be happy together"
"What's the next step Luke?" I lean my head on his chest.
"Live life I guess, take everyday as a new day because it is" he wraps his hands around me. "There's no one else like you"
*******
"How's things?" Jess sips her coffee slowly.
We were out for breakfast as a girls morning just the two of us. We still haven't met Calum's girlfriend. He seemed to have been spending a lot of time with her, I've only seen him twice in the past week.
"They're good" I take a mouth full of scrambled eggs. "How's things with you?"
"I'm not to sure actually"
"Why not? What's wrong?"
"All Mikey has been talking about is the band" Jess signs
"Oh, well he's just excited"
"Yeah I know but it's never 'oh hey Jess wanna go somewhere?' anymore and I just don't know what to do"
"Ask him to do stuff with you and see how it goes"
"Okay."
I kind of wanna yell at Michael for not keeping his girlfriend occupied but I don't really think of her as his girlfriend anymore I think of her as my best friend. So i don't really know. I can honestly say the same thing, Luke is always saying how great practise went but I don't mind that he does, he is doing some proactive and is happy doing it. And besides I also talk a lot about my things too. Like the other day I went to the city and a girl asked for a picture with me for the first time and at first I was like 'why?' And she laughed and made me selfie us.
I'm overwhelm at the fact about what's happening. It's makes me happy knowing that I am making other people happy. And I didn't expect this at all. I was becoming bigger on the Internet and I honesty can't believe it. I was on Vine yesterday and I came across a vine of me falling over, like who catches me doing this? It was hilarious anyway.
"Skylar?" Jess stars at me
"Yes?" I raise my eyebrow
"What happens if the boys make it?"
This was a question I have been ignoring because I honestly don't know. 4 hot guys these days means millions of girls wanting them. And that means good bye low self esteem and hello extremely low self esteem.
"I don't know" I look at my food no longer wanting to eat anymore. "I'm done, let's go"
Jess didn't bring up the question again, she must of seen that it was a touchy subject and I didn't want to discuss it.
When we got home the boys were practising again.
"I wish they'd stop for a second" Jess slouches on the couch.
And they did. "That's better, not that I don't like the sound because their really good but because I just want Mikey back" she whispers.
"We're home" I shout.
No replies.
"We're home" I yell louder
Still no answer.
"We're home and we're naked and covered in pizza!" I yell again.
"No you're not!" Calum comes out.
"Calum what if we were? Like oh my god no!" Jess shakes her head.
"I know you didn't have pizza because I didn't smell it" he shrugs.
"Where is Luke?" I ask
"Where is Michael?" Jess asks
"They're just, uh, putting up the video we just did"
"Oh okay" I frown.
Jess and I just look at each other. Even though we are both really happy for them we don't want to be left behind. The feeling of being left behind is the worst because it feels like you were never good enough in the first place to be brought along with. What actually will happen if 5 seconds of Summer becomes a big hit. What will happen to Jess? What will happen to this life we live now? What will happen to me?
