LUKES POV:
I've been on tour for the past 3 months and even though how in incredible it has been, I can't help but to think of Skylar; has she read my letter and just didn't care? Has she moved on? Is she okay? Does she still think about me? Does she still love me the way I still love her? So many more questions run through my mind.
We only have a week before we're back home for a few weeks for Christmas and I am looking forward to it. I'm not sure if I'll even see Skylar, but I need to, to know she is okay.
I can't really explain how much I miss her. All I know is that I'm hurting, I was never going to break up with her and I'm still kind of mad at Cal for telling her that I was. I wanted to tell her that she is the only one for me and that she can trust me completely and that I would call her everyday without it even being a worry. I wanted to tell her that everyday on tour wasn't another day without her it will be another day closer to seeing her again. But now I can't help but wonder even if I'm still on her mind. The Skylar I knew probably would, I know that she loves me just as much as I love her.
I also wonder if she has listened to our album and realise that most of the songs are about her. Especially 'Everything I Didn't Say" and "Beside you" and even "End up Here" because it was practically about the time met. I remember writing "The Only Reason" on a window seat staring out to the view of a city I don't even remember the name off. And just thinking about her and that all I seem to do lately is think about her.
"Luke!" Mikey calls out breaking me from my daze. "Do you miss your girlfriend as much as I do?"
"Their not our girlfriends anymore Mikey" I snap.
Why did I get so angry? Well I guess because I am mad at my self for not trying hard enough to hold on to Skylar. After the night we broke up, she walked out the gate and never came back. I walked into our bedroom and just stared out the photos of us together and cried.
"I know but-" he pauses. "I just really want Jess back, I though that if she wasn't mine anymore that it would be easier but honestly I think I just miss her more knowing that she could be with another guy making her happier than what I did"
"Try having the connection I did" I frown.
"Oh no I didn't mean it like that Luke, I understand how hard it has been for you too" he sits beside me.
"It's a lot harder than just hard."
"You'll see her again mate, don't worry. I think I might go call Jess, I need to hear her voice" he walks out.
I hear Ashton on the phone "okay, it will be all set, bye don't forget I love you"
"Who was that?" I ask.
"Uh- Mum, she uh wants to see us next week" I could tell he was lying but I went with it anyway.
"Okay"
"Anyway how are you going?" He looks up at me.
"How does it look" I shrug.
"Same as yesterday" he giggles.
This is why I love Ashton, even at the saddest of moments he seems to still have kept it together. Just like after he found out he didn't really love Emily anymore he just kind got over it. Well that's what I saw anyway.
"Well yeah" I sign.
"Things can't get worse just remember that" he pats my on the back.
"Yes they can, she might not love me anymore Ash"
"I highly doubt that, she loved you just as much as you loved her. You know that"
He is right. Well I hope he is. I nod and walk out to the lobby of the hotel. Then I realise there's a bunch of fans waiting, and as much as I appreciate them I really am not in the mood so I put my hoodie over my head and walk out the back. Sometimes I wanna just be normal but then I think of all the people I could be making people happy.
We were currently in Brisbane doing our last show before Sydney next week.
I just need to vent and clear my head before tonight's show. I walk down to Queenstreet mall hoping no one will notice me.
I see a familiar face walking towards me, it takes me a while but I think it's Skylar's sister, will one of them anyway. I try to hide my face to hope she doesn't recognise me. But it to late.
"Luke?" She questions
"Um, yeah?" I still keep my head down.
"It's Trinity, Skylar's sister"
Yeah that's right the "slut".
"I'm sorry to be rude but I really don't want to talk right now"
"Do you break up with Skylar? I knew you'd find out you were way to good for her"
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah, well if you wanna see each other again here's me numb-"
"Uh no thanks I'm perfectly happy with your sister and she is the perfect girl for me" I cut her off and continue to walk.
"Omg it's Luke Hemmings from 5 Seconds of Summer" she yells.
That bitch. Why would she do that. Maybe she's not used to rejection? I don't know. But before I knew it I was being chased by a bunch of girls back to my hotel. Thank god I was blessed with tall legs.
When I finally got back to my hotel room I knew that it was only a few hours until show time. So I went for a shower and got ready, it's pretty overwhelming still. But what was holding my together was hoping that maybe, just maybe I'll see Skylar at the end of it.
