Saving Me

Carpe Diem

Matt's POV:

Days off were usually spent catching up on housework that got neglected during my shifts and lounging around—unless the weather was nice. On those days, lounging included a fishing pole, some worms, a beach chair, a few cold beers, and a pond. But today, the lure of the pond and lazing in the sun just wasn't cutting it. Why? Well, that would be because of a certain little brunette who'd been haunting me both day and night.

Even after three days—and even though the kiss she'd given me on the cheek was supposed to be innocent—I could still feel the ghost of her lips on my skin. I could still feel her in my arms as I held her while she cried.

In fact, thoughts of Stormy were what made me finally clean out my closets—something that had been ten years in the making. I'd tried over and over to get rid of Cass's things. Hell, I even bagged them all up once and had them sitting by the front door, ready to load into the truck for donation. But when I picked up that first bag, guilt over "moving on" crushed me, making me drag all the items back upstairs and put them exactly where they'd been.

And don't even get me started on Danielle's room. I hadn't opened that door since the day I came back to an empty house after the funeral. Ebony had been in there a few times, claiming it helped her feel close to Danielle and Cass, but I just couldn't bring myself to go in. I knew that eventually I'd have to—eventually I'd have to force myself to let go of Danielle's things—but today wasn't going to be that day.

Tossing the last bag of Cass's clothes onto the stack by the door, I stared at them, bracing myself for the usual tidal wave of grief. But... it never came. Not when I tossed the first bag into the bed of the truck, and not when I tossed the last. Maybe it really was time.

I was just about to close the tailgate when not one, but two cardinals landed on the metal surface, settling beside each other. I didn't know if there was any truth to it—or if it was just a southern superstition—but I'd grown up believing that whenever a cardinal appeared, it meant a loved one in heaven was visiting you. And here I was, getting a visit from two on the day I finally let go of Cass's things.

"Hey, Cass," I said softly. "I finally did it. I finally cleaned out your closet."
One of the birds fluttered her wings like she was about to fly off, but she stayed perched.
"You'll be happy to know all your clothes are going to someone who really needs them. She lost everything in the tornado a few days ago. In fact, according to Ebony, she's involved with the nonprofit you started."

I chuckled softly. "Lord, Cass, you'd be so proud of what that group's turned into. What they've done for women... I'm in awe. It just hurts knowing you're not here to see what it's become." I paused, feeling stupid. "Damn, I feel like an idiot standing here talking to a bird... but God, I miss you and Danielle.

"It's weird, though, because all I've been able to think about is the woman I pulled from the rubble... and her little girl. I feel like it's wrong that my mind's focusing on someone other than you and Danielle. But there's just something about her I can't shake."

I was beginning to wonder if I'd lost my mind when I swear to God that bird nodded at me. No way. No way was I actually communicating with a cardinal. But the longer they sat there staring at me, the more I felt like maybe—just maybe—they understood.

"Cass... do you think it's time for me to move on?"
As I asked the question, a gust of wind blew, cooling my face and carrying the scent of lavender—Cass's favorite. I didn't know if the smell came from the bags I'd just packed or what, but it didn't matter. For the first time in a decade, I felt like I had the answer I needed. I felt like she was telling me it was okay to move on. To be happy again.

"You know you'll always have a place in my heart, right? You and Danielle both."
As the words left my lips, I watched the two cardinals take flight together. And just like that, I knew—I'd gotten the clearest sign I was ever going to get.