Saving Me

Ready or Not

Matt's POV:

To say that there was no way in hell I was letting Stormy and Sadie stay in their home alone was an understatement. This morning when I'd woke up, I might not have been ready to have her staying with me in the house that I Cass and I had shared but right now, with everything going on and the possibility that Joel was out there and wanting to hurt her and Sadie had me getting past my hang ups and taking her to my home. As I slowed to turn in the drive, my heart raced. What if she didn't like the place? What if she felt strange being in the place that Cass and I shared? What if the ghost of my deceased wife loomed too large in the house?

"Matt, are you okay?" Stormy said from beside me, pulling me back to the here and now.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine." I lied. I was anything but fine.

The two story pre-civil war far house came into view. With its white siding, black shutters, and wrap around porch, I remembered the day that I brought Cass here and told her that I'd brought it for us. I remembered the smile on her face that had melted my heart. I remembered the long hours she and I had put into this place, redoing floors, and painting walls, and laying tile in the kitchen and bathroom. The laughs and tears that we had shared as her learned to remodel the house by trial and error.

Then thoughts of the day we found out she was pregnant popped into mind. How she had walked down the stairs carrying the test in her shaking hands, nervous about telling me that she was pregnant since I'd just gotten a promotion at the fire station, and she had just started Helping Hands. The tears that had streamed down her face when I'd told her that we would figure it out. The sheer joy that had come off her in waves when we told our families that she was pregnant.

The day Danielle came home followed that memory. I remembered being so nervous. In my line of work, I'd saved countless lives and knew that people depended on me to be there when they needed help but the fact that I was going to be responsible for this defenseless child was so fucking scary to me. But Cass had been there telling me that just like we had learned to remodel a house on the fly, we would learn to be good parents. I like to think that she and I were well on the way to becoming that when everything had changed, and I'd lost the two most important people in my life.

But now, with Stormy sitting in the passenger seat of my truck and Sadie cooing from the backseat, I was more scared that had been in any of those circumstances because while with Cass, things hadn't always been easy, she and I had shared a love that I thought I would never experience again. But with Stormy, it was so much more in every single way. The way I cared about her, the way she made me feel. It was all so much more intense and mind boggling than my feelings for Cass had ever been.

I must have been too quiet for too long because once more, I heard Stormy calling my name just as I felt her hands land on my arm. As I came out of my daydream, I looked over at her and saw worry on her face. Not wanting to ever see that look, I slowly loosened the death grip I had on the wheel and flipped the console up before dragging her across the seat and into my arms. I could feel the worry coming off of her as I held her and knew I needed to tell her what was going on and what I was feeling but I also just needed a minute to catch my breath.

When I was sure that I could speak and my words not come out choked, I leaned back just enough so that I could tilt her head back and look at her. She still had that worried look in her eyes, but it was the love that I saw reflected in them for me that had me finally getting the words that had been clogging my throat out into the open.

"When I woke up this morning, I didn't expect to bring you and Sadie to my home. I know you have been curious about where I lived and what it might look like. I've wanted to bring you here countless times but always found a reason not to. The main one being that this was the home that Cass, Danielle, and I shared. Much hasn't changed since the day she left to go to Missouri." I said, getting the words out in a hurry and gauging her reaction to what I was saying. I felt her sharp intake of breath at the revelation of what this place meant to me and what it meant for us that I was bringing her here. "No woman expect for my mama and Ebony have stepped foot in this house in nearly 11 years. You are going to be the first. That hit me as I was pulling into the drive. Well, that and all the memories that Cass and I shared in the short amount of time that we lived here together. Everything from remodeling the house to finding out she was pregnant with Danielle, to the day Danielle came home from the hospital. I don't have to tell you the fear that comes with bringing a child for the first knowing that their wellbeing lies solely in your hands.