Saving Me

Freak-outs & Little White Lies

Stormy's POV:

Over breakfast, I thought of nothing but the dream I had last night. When I'd awoken this morning, it had been the first thought to pop into my head, leaving me wondering just what the hell my subconscious was trying to tell me. But deep down, I knew in my mind what it was telling me. The problem was, did I want my heart to believe it? Was it possible that after going through hell with Joel and surviving a tornado that should have killed me that I was finally going to find the happiness that I deserved? Were things with me and Matt headed in the direction of he and I making a life together and me having a little boy with his hair and my eyes? Or was I just losing my mind?

But as much as I was trying to talk myself out of what my mind knew to be true, I knew that last night changed something for him and I. Sure, we had spent time together with and without Sadie, but last night was so much more than two people getting away for the weekend. It might me crazy to say this, but it was almost as if there was a shift in the air with us. That things seemed to have changed as we made love well into the morning hours. Again, the problem was, I knew what my mind was wanting but the fear that Matt was going to want something different was playing hell on my nerves. What if this was just a good time for me?

I mean, I know he was the first to put a label on what we are but was he truly ready for that? After mourning the loss of his wife and child for so long, was he ready to start living again? Sadie already adored him. Windy and Steven thought he was the best things since sliced bread. And don't get me started on Mama. She was already planning a wedding though she tried to pretend that she wasn't. My thing is, what happens when he decided that things are moving too fast? What happens when he decides that he's ready to get back into the dating world and wants to sample all the things that being a single man offers him. What do I tell Sadie when she cries for him at night to sing to her? What do I tell Windy when she wants to know what happened, why he hasn't been around? And what do I tell Mama when she starts up about wanting more grandkids to spoil?

"Penny for your thoughts." Said Matt as his hand landed on mine atop the small table in the hotel room. My eyes whipped up, locking with his. I saw the questions there.

"Matt..." I started but had to stop. It was as if the words I wanted to say were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't get them to come out. Swallowing hard and telling myself that I got this, I started once again. "Do you think things are moving too fast for us?"

"What do you mean?" Matt asked as he sipped from his mug of coffee.

"Well ummm, don't take this the wrong way and don't think that I'm looking for any kind of excuses for this not to work out-"

"Just spit it out Storm. You can tell me anything." Said Matt, cutting me off.

"Okay. So, for ten years you mourned the loss of your child and your wife. Two people that were very much a part of you and always will be. Then I come into the picture, having survived something that probably should have killed and my daughter. I can't help but think that you might see Sadie and I as a replacement for what you lost. And if that's the case, once you are comfortable with dating again, who's to say that you won't want to sample all the single ladies instead of staying with the girl that you saved for her worst nightmare?"

"Where is all of this coming from?" asked Matt as he set his coffee mug onto the table. Chance a glance at his face, I saw the anger mixing with hurt and confusion over my words. And it was a gut punch. I knew that he and I were nowhere near saying those three little words to one another, but I cared about him enough to not ever want to see that hurt on his face or to be responsible for it. When I didn't say anything immediately, the hand that had landed on mine earlier squeezed gently, urging me to talk to him. "What in that pretty little head of yours darlin?"