The Army Girl (lesbian) completed

5. Carmens Point Of View

We finished our song with a bow and I couldn't stop thinking about everything Jay had said to me when we had arrived at the pub. He told me to hurry up and tell his sister that I wanted to be with her as more than a friend because he could see that it was tearing us both apart.

He assured me that she felt the same way about me and I flat out refused to believe him. The last thing he said on the matter was that I was her best friend and if I just looked at her properly I would see the signs and realise how she felt about me.

Throughout our performance I noticed that Samantha's eyes never strayed from mine and I started thinking about all of our encounters with each other over the last few years. There was a sparkle in her eyes whenever she looked at me and she always smiled a huge smile whenever she saw me no matter what kind of mood she was in prior.

I remembered that every time I had a stupid drunken one night stand at a party, she avoided me for a few days, then I started thinking about what she had said earlier. The girl she wanted to be with was always 'away' with work and worked just as much as she did if not more.

I definitely needed to talk to her about things soon, I just didn't know where to start.

"Yo, Carmen! The regulars want to hear some of the songs you wrote yourself!" Jay shouted to me.

"Um, right well, this one is called Pardon me." I announced to the audience as I sat at the pubs piano. Sammantha had gone back over to the bar and sat watching me, her gaze making me slightly nervous and extremely warm seeing as I was still in my army uniform and blushing from the attention. I kept eye contact with her while I sang.

Pardon me for my lack of excitement,
But I'm not entirely thrilled.
S-s-stutter when I talk,
Flail around as I walk,
Yeah, the moments been killed.

And I'm not good at this,
No, not at all.
I'm not good at this.

I cleared my throat as I broke eye contact briefly to look down at the piano keys.

I'm a wreck and I know it,
And I tend to show it
Every chance that I get.
Butterflies in disguise,
They just fly on by,
Yeah, they're making me sick.

They don't flutter about,
I'd do without,
All they do is kick.

I looked back up meeting Samantha's bright blue gaze.

Mean it truly,
Sincere heart.
Why do you do this to me?
Tear me apart.

It's my fault and I know it
And I tend to blow it,
No thanks to you.
It's like you sit and you watch me,
You poke and you taunt me,
It's all that you do.

And I'm not fighting that no, not at all.
Just want to be something a name you call.
The lips you taste just to fall,
Madly in love.

Mean it truly,
Sincere heart.
Why do you do this to me?
Tear me apart.

I broke eye contact once again from those mesmerising blue orbs and glanced briefly around the pub before my eyes became glued to those twinkling blues once again.

I got my eyes set on you,
My heart is burnin' red.
All of my words come out wrong,
Run circles in my head.

You had me and I melted,
In the palm of your hand.
You know it, yes I felt it,
You'll never understand.

Mean it truly,
Sincere heart.
Why do you do this to me,
Tear me apart.

Mean it truly,
Sincere heart.
Why do you do this to me,
Tear me apart.