Have I forgotten how to love; remind me once again

Chapter Eighteen

A/N So, this one is... also not quite happy, but I promise that we're almost done with the sadness for now. 

At last, Louis can't push the dreaded conversation any longer, and despite his headache having been soothed a bit by the pain killers, he is still in no way ready for this one. Well aware that the boys are all waiting for him downstairs, Louis decides it's better to just get it over with.

With a sense of imminent doom - and no, he isn't being dramatic, he would never be - Louis trots down the stairs, the voices coming from the living room instantly quieting and he considers turning around and locking himself in one of the guest rooms.

He forces himself to continue though, ignoring his queasy stomach and slightly thrumming head. As Louis walks into the living room, three sets of eyes are immediately turned to him, Zayn sitting in one corner of the sofa, Niall in Harry's chair while Liam stands in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. The quietness in the room only bears witness to the tense talk about to follow, and the fact that they've only been waiting for him to come downstairs.

With an inviting gesture, Zayn tells him to sit down, and Louis wants to yell at his friends to stop playing nice and just get it over with. He doesn't though, just plops down in the free end of the sofa, accepting the glass of water Liam reaches towards him.

God, they're really obsessed with keeping him hydrated, Louis thinks, and he strains himself not to roll his eyes. As if proper hydration fixes everything. It does easy his stomach a bit, though. And subdues the headache a bit more. Whatever. It's still stupid.

Nobody speaks for a minute; his friends just watch as Louis sips the glass of water without meeting anyone's eyes. Of course, Liam is the first to speak. "We're worried about you, Louis", he begins, and Louis doesn't get a chance to protest before he continues while watching his friend closely. "It's understandable that you're hurting, but you are on your way down a slippery slope of self-pity and drowning your feelings in alcohol and cigarettes. We can't stand by and watch that".

Liam is being way too dramatic about this, Louis thinks, but he also very well knows his friends are dead serious right now, and it won't just be a piece of cake making them realize that it's really not that bad. So, instead of straightening up in the sofa, Louis slouches further and displays an easy smile, a strained laughter bubbling right beneath his words.

"Come on, guys. We've all drunk too much at some point. More than once! It's not a big deal, and there's no need to make it out to be so." No one answers, and the silence strangles the light tone Louis tried displaying, making it sound exactly as the hollow and desperate attempt at deescalating it is.

As usual, his friends exchange looks in front of him as if Louis isn't there, and once again he has to control the urge to roll his eyes at this treatment. They're not his parents and he's not a five-year old who's been misbehaving.

Surprisingly, Liam isn't the one to speak this time, and Louis lets his head roll on his neck in a dramatic gesture to look at Niall instead when his friend picks up the conversation. "You know just as well as us that this isn't just getting too drunk at a party. This is you deliberately trying to drown your uncomfortable emotions in alcohol. Jesus, Lou, it was barely ten in the morning."

That is hitting a little too closely to the truth, and Niall's way of saying it so simply is making a shameful blush creep up Louis' neck. He sighs, knowing that they're right no matter how much he doesn't want to admit so.

"Look, I know it's not a great coping mechanism," he begins, carefully choosing his words in an attempt to make the boys back off and let him be sad in peace instead of creating interventions for just one mistake. "But it's not like it's a regular thing - I'm not an alcoholic or anything like that. Just a moment of weakness is all. I'm fine".