Have I forgotten how to love; remind me once again

Chapter Five

A/N I'm back from London with an update and Covid!

Hesitantly, Louis steps inside and closes the door behind him. Somehow, the home he shares with Harry feels different now, and maybe it is because said boy is looking around with the same curiosity as back when they were first thinking about buying this place, not like he has just come home, and so Louis doesn't feel at home either.

Zayn has already thrown himself on the couch while Liam and Niall went to the kitchen - Liam to cook something up for the five of them, and Niall to keep him company without actually helping. Louis realizes he hasn't been home for more than four days straight, and everything still stands as it was left before they went to the party. Three of Harry's boots spread across the floor from where he tried them on to see which pair went best with his outfit. A blanket mindlessly thrown over the back of the couch where Louis left it the last time, they watched a movie all cuddled up in the living room.

A pair of handcuffs behind... Oh god, there's a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs on the floor. They had bought it after a fan threw a similar pair on the stage during a show of theirs, Harry whispering in Louis' ear that he would like one of those.

Quickly, Louis kicks it underneath the couch, cheeks blushing furiously because he feels like he has brought his boyfriend home for the first time and is trying not to embarrass himself. Speaking of Harry, Louis looks over to find him looking slightly overwhelmed, and forgotten are fluffy handcuffs as he hurries to the rescue, gently leading Harry upstairs to their bedroom.

"The doctor said you should rest properly and extensively, so maybe you could sleep a bit or I dunno just... rest? We can wake you up when dinner is ready." Louis awkwardly fumbles with the words, feeling so out of place as Harry timidly sits on the edge of the bed with a sigh.

When there's no response, Louis turns around and shuffles towards the door, fighting the urge to hold Harry close until he relaxes. Just before he reaches the door, Harry's quiet voice interrupts his path. "I guess... I guess I just hoped I'd remember something when I got here. I don't though. Sorry".

Louis has to bite down on his tongue harshly as he turns around, focusing on breathing correctly and not saying anything stupid. He knows what Harry needs to hear, and if nothing else, Louis will always be the one to fulfill Harry's every desire. "Hey, Haz," he hums softly, as he steps closer, placing a hopefully calming hand on his boy's arm. "Don't stress about it, okay? It's going to take some time, and that's fine. For now, the most important thing is resting so you can heal."

Harry nods, and a couple of the creases in his forehead has softened out as he lays down on the bed, Louis smiling softly before he forces himself to stand up and turn towards the door once again, because if doesn't, he might just try to kiss away all the worried lines running over Harry's face. "Just call if you need anything, babe", Louis hums out of habit, quickly realizing that maybe he shouldn't be calling Harry 'babe' right now, but it's too late to change it, and he rushes out of the door without looking at Harry, feeling the urge to cry suddenly ambushing him.

Louis' breath is rapid and shallow as he quickly shuts the door behind him, quietly hoping Harry will come to comfort him, only to bit hit by the realization that his Harry isn't here, and he can't expect the boy to care for him when Harry doesn't even remember his name.

A hand is barely enough to conceal Louis' sobs, despite him biting down rather harshly on it, for sure leaving marks, but he can't find it in him to care about anything but his boy in their bed. Louis leans back against the wall beside the door to so many happy memories, refusing to slide down to the floor, because he knows he isn't getting back up if he lets himself fall. Forcibly, he slows his breaths, still biting down on the skin between his thumb and pointing finger to swallow the occasional uncontrollable sobs that rake through his body despite his best efforts to keep quiet.