Have I forgotten how to love; remind me once again

Chapter Twenty-one

A/N Here comes the happy part!

"I think we were going at it all wrong and I wanna start over. Hi, I'm Louis", Louis says, heart sitting in his throat and beating uncomfortably as he reaches out a hand, hoping Harry will take it and all that it represents.

Harry looks absolutely crestfallen, still processing the fact that it's Louis, it's really Louis, standing outside his door while Harry has barely just rolled out of bed, only responding to the knock on the door because his mum is at work and there's no one else to do it.

There's no doubt as to what the answer is though, and as soon as Harry's brain catches up to speed, noting how adorably flustered and nervous Louis looks, he reaches out and grabs Louis' hand in something that resembles holding hands more than a greeting handshake.

"Hi. You're- um I mean," Harry stammers as their hands are pressed together between them. "Oops", he laughs at his words stumbling out, then regains a bit of control of his racing heart and melting brain as he speaks again. "Hi. I'm Harry".

Louis' nervous face turns soft at that and for a beat longer than socially acceptable, they remain still, gooey smiles mirrored from one face to another as none of them wants to break the contact first. At some point though, Louis becomes uncomfortably aware of how sweaty his hand is, and he pulls back his hand a little too rapidly, breaking whatever was simmering between them rather abruptly.

"Oh. Um... do you want to come in?" Harry asks, suddenly sounding a little hesitant as if he isn't quite sure what they're doing. "Yeah sure", Louis responds, trying to keep the slightly awkward edge he feels out of his voice.

"I figured I'd sleep at the motel down the road. Don't want to be a bother", Louis continues, hoping Harry will say that it's no problem, that he should stay. Instead, Harry just smiles a little too brightly to be entirely genuine and nods. "Yeah sure, whatever you want".

God, this feels awkward and out of place and Louis hates it, because those are words that have never described their relationship, as it was one of those instances where they instantly clicked, making it feel like they'd known each other for years from the very beginning.

Doubt is seemingly creeping into Harry's mind as well, because when he lets Louis inside and closes the door behind them, he looks down to his hands and talks so lowly that it's barely above a whisper. "You don't have to do this you know. You don't owe me anything. Any help. I know it's not easy on you this whole thing".

It stings Louis' heart a little, because if only Harry knew just how much Louis really owes him. That's not what he says though because that's just another thing Harry can't remember, and Louis is attempting a different approach, starting over.

So instead, Louis hooks a finger under Harry's chin and guides his head up until their eyes meet, deciding bold is the way to go. "Well, I want to. For you, I'd do it a million times over, and I'm sorry I forgot that for a moment. I don't need easy, I need you".

An adorable blush creeps over Harry's cheeks as the words reach him, but he still doesn't look convinced, trying to look anywhere but Louis' face as he replies. "I'm not sure I'm ever going to remember. And there's a chance of me forgetting new things too. I can't drag you through starting over every other day". Louis knows him though, can hear in Harry's voice that the boy is really begging for him to stay. Begging to be enough, and god, he is.

"I'd start over with you every day for the rest of my life, if it meant there was even the slightest chance of getting to spend just some of it with you".

***

The awkward tension of Louis first arriving, and blindsiding Harry, has lifted a bit, despite their rather serious conversation and Harry offers to make Louis some lunch, conversation flowing surprisingly easily between them even though it is rather superficial, and Louis has to scour his brain for topics to talk about. They talk about Anne, the boys - nothing too seriously though, but at last Louis can't help but ask about Harry's health.