Have I forgotten how to love; remind me once again

Chapter Thirty-Four

A/N The last chapter! Major trigger warning for this, read with caution!

It's no surprise when Louis is the last to wake up - apart from Harry, of course, who's once again sedated heavily. Apparently, he had woken up a couple hours before Louis, but only for a few seconds before he was groaning in pain and Liam had called a nurse for more sedatives.

Louis is more than a bit ashamed that he didn't wake up. "Sorry, I should have been more attentive. He's my husband".

Liam just shakes his head, moving to the other side of the bed to envelop Louis in an awkward one-person-standing-one-person-sitting-kind-of-hug that Louis pretends he doesn't want nor need. "Louis, it's not your job. We're all here for both you and him - besides you stayed up waiting for him to come back from surgery, so of course you didn't wake up early".

He places a smacking kiss to Louis' cheek that has the other boy smiling against his best efforts. "Thank you", he says, instead of admitting that he still feels guilty he didn't wake up when Harry did. He should have.

Zayn gets them coffees and breakfast, and Louis once again refuses to leave Harry's side for some fresh air until they know how he has taken to the operation. The compromise is a widely open window that gives some semblance of freshness to the room.

It's almost noon when Harry does wake, an all too familiar voice groaning in pain and redirecting all the boys' attention to their friend. Niall calmly gets up to fetch a nurse or doctor while Louis leans closer to Harry, as if he's scared to miss it again.

Barely a minute after Harry's first groans of pain, his eyes open and instantly catch on Louis'.

"Hi", Louis whispers, letting his thumb drag across the back of Harry's hand. "Sick", is the only response, and Louis nods with a sad smile, "I know. Someone will be here in a second".

When asked if he needs more sedatives, Harry slowly shakes his head, grimacing a bit which takes the edge off the happiness of Harry being awake. Instead, he gets something for the nausea again, and Louis is holding his hand the entire time until it takes effect.

It's a nice surprise when it's Patricia who comes half an hour later, checking up on Harry and noting a couple things down. "How are we feeling?" She asks, directing it to Harry, who shrugs and moves his mouth as if he's talking, but no noises come out.

"Take your time", Patricia reassures, "The brain is often very groggy after heavy sedation."

Harry nods, but Louis can see the panic in his eyes from not being able to express himself, and there's nothing Louis can do to soothe it, so he just keeps dragging his thumb across Harry's hand, hoping it will offer some kind of comfort.

"Ow", is what Harry ends up with, lifting a hand to point to his head, and Patricia smiles in understanding, "I can give you some painkillers that won't sedate you as much as the morphine if you'd like". From the desperate look in Harry's and his quick nod, he would like that.

He does end up sleeping a bit more throughout the afternoon, Liam, Niall and Zayn taking turns to get some fresh air while Louis still refuses to leave Harry's side.

It isn't until late afternoon that Harry finally wakes up properly, a bit more coherent and less in pain than the last time. The boys have left to give the two of them a bit of space while Louis is staring mindlessly out the window. When Harry does wake, he uses the time to study Louis' face uninterrupted, until the boy feels eyes on him and turns to find Harry looking.

"Hi", he says again, this time rewarded with a warm smile and a squeeze of his hand. "Hi, Lou".

Then Harry looks down their hands, light catching on his ring, and adds, "I love you", and Louis' heart flutters like it's the first time he's heard it.