before spring is gone | k.th

014 : empathy

Taehyun stared up at the gray sky for a moment. He felt numb, unsure of how to process what was really going on in his mind. The last time he was at the park, Bomi was with him. That was about four weeks ago. She had changed the "S" on his cast to a "V" to make it say "LOVER". He wished he was here with her again.

Sitting up, Taehyun stared around the park. He hated how peaceful it was. It was too quiet. It made Taehyun anxious.

He wanted to scream, to shout at someone. He wanted to blame others for the situation he was in. But he knew he couldn't. He put himself in this situation. He ignored Bomi on purpose. He left her with Hueningkai because he wasn't brave enough to admit he was wrong. He didn't want to admit that he had hurt her.

Taehyun angrily threw his body to the ground and slammed his hands to the ground.

He should have talked to her that day. He should have apologized. There were so many 'should have done's and not enough 'had done's. Taehyun should have been more understanding. He should have talked it out with Bomi. He should have been more conscious of her feelings.

Taehyun stood up and grabbed his skateboard. He stared at it before slamming it straight into the ground. He wasn't sure what he was feeling. But the horrible tight feeling in his chest made him want to do something. Anything.

He was tired of keeping up the same fake facade of being okay. He knew his friends could see right through it. It was hard, hard to keep up the same old smile, to play the same old act. He had acted as though he was fine for so long that he had worn himself down to the bone. He had ignored all of his friends' suggestions to talk things out but now he found himself wanting to do that more than anything else.

He wanted to find Bomi and apologize. He wanted to try and fix everything that he broke. All his pent-up stress and emotions were making him numb to what happened around him until this moment. He couldn't contain it anymore.

His chest felt tight and his ears were ringing. He couldn't seem to sort through his emotions. Tears were streaming down his face and his hands were clenched tightly in anger.

Taehyun grabbed his skateboard again and threw it straight into the ground with a loud shout. He grabbed it again and flung it across the halfpipe. It slammed into the concrete with a loud crack and snap.

He wanted to turn back the clocks and redo everything. Taehyun would do anything to go back in time and fix his mistakes. Even if it meant destroying the world around him to make things right again, Taehyun would do it.

~ ~ ~

Bomi let out a long sigh as she waited outside the cafe. She felt a frown push to her face, wondering if Taehyun had ghosted her. She turned her back to the cafe and looked out across the street. Taehyun had asked her to meet there. Bomi was so surprised by his text that she dropped everything she was doing.

In fact, she had dropped the cup of tea she had made for her grandmother. Bomi's grandmother had only been home for about two weeks but she didn't fail to notice how down Bomi had been. Her grandmother was so sure that Bomi had completely lost it when she dropped the cup and went sprinting up to her bedroom.

After another moment of standing alone in the gently chilling wind, Bomi let out yet another sigh, "I thought you ghosted me," Bomi turned around to meet Taehyun's gaze but paused when she saw the broken pieces of his skateboard in his hand.

His eyes were red and puffy as if he had been crying for the past few hours. His clothes were messy and his dark hair was in a tousled mess. Taehyun looked as though he had just walked through a hurricane.

Bomi opened her mouth to ask him if he was alright but went quiet when Taehyun dropped his skateboard to the ground and closed the distance between them. Bomi could feel the air around her suddenly tense and she stiffened as Taehyun's arms wrapped around her. Her eyes went wide and she didn't dare to move as he buried his face into her shoulder.