JUST LIKE HER (ANDY BARBER)

11. IF I WAS A STUPID GIRL

Andy scared you. He was someone you should be scared of. You knew that now. You weren't sure if he would make good on his words, but you didn't want to give him the opportunity. Hell, you weren't even sure what his threat was. You didn't know what it was either. There was some sort of darkness in him, something that you hadn't seen before. And you weren't keen on seeing just how far that darkness spread.

Some part of you, though, still refused to believe that the sweet man you had met during orientation week could be like this. The one who made you feel all warm and fuzzy. The one who made you feel like you mattered, like you were more than just a good student and a future lawyer. Where had that man gone? Was he ever real?

It had dawned on you that you didn't really know who Andy Barber was. In all the times you'd ever spoken to him, he'd given up so little about himself. You knew he'd been raised by his mother. He said he never really knew his father. He went to a good school, studied hard, and got to law school. There were so many pieces missing from the puzzle.

So you did either the smart thing or the dumb thing, depending on what you would find. You went looking for answers.

You weren't quite sure what you would find. Or even what you should look for.

But, still, you went to the library and combed through records upon records upon records. There wasn't much to find on Andy. There were a few articles about him, about how he was in the top 10 of his senior class, how he'd won a few awards in his undergrad. Virtually nothing in the grand scheme of things.

You had almost lost hope of finding anything when, finally, you found an article. You almost overlooked it. Andy was not the focus of it. No, it was his father.

Local Man Arrested for Rape and Murder of 19-year-old Girl

William Barber has been arrested in connection to the college student who was murdered two weeks ago. Officials have declined to comment.

Barber is the husband of Marianne Barber and the father of Andrew "Andy" Barber. Barber's attorney has also declined to comment.

You felt to your stomach as you combed through the articles, reading about the young girl's murder. Bloody Billy Barber, they called him. The newspapers included no pictures of what had happened but the picture they painted with their words...God, it made you want to vomit. You understood why Andy wouldn't ever talk about him. Of course, he was young when his father was arrested, but still...Growing up with the reputation that your father was a cold-hearted killer? It must be horrible even for the worst of people.

A part of you wondered how much Andy had inherited his father's tendencies. There was talk about something called the "serial killer gene". There wasn't much science to back its existence, but the theory went that those who had the gene were predisposed to more violent tendencies than those who didn't have it. It would certainly explain how Andy was so quick to anger. How he chilled you to your bone sometimes.

But, surely, that couldn't be the case... Could it?

After all, Andy could be so sweet. He could be kind. He could a literal Prince Charming. That was what made you fall in love with him to begin with. Wait. No. You weren't in love with him. You were in love with the idea of him, the idea of a man you couldn't have. You didn't love Andy Barber. Not in the slightest.

You couldn't love him. Because he wasn't yours to love. He never was. And you had to accept that.

But how could you do so safely? If he was anything like his father... You shuddered at the mere idea that he could act so viciously. You had to be careful. If you had learned anything from Andy's outbursts, it was that he was quick to anger. You had to find a way to make sure you could get away from him without getting hurt. And you needed to figure out how to get out soon.