JUST LIKE HER (ANDY BARBER)

21. I MIGHT GO WITH IT

Ten Years Later

Life in Washington state was good. Nay, it was wonderful. You didn't have to worry. You didn't have to look over your shoulder. You didn't have to panic every time you saw a strange shadow. No, you felt free. You felt calm. You felt at ease.

You had everything you could have wanted, sure. You had a nice home. You had plenty of money. As a young attorney, you were fortunate enough to represent clients who had received large awards and, as their attorney, you received a good portion of those awards. You could retire whenever you want and surely be in a safe position for the rest of your life.

And yet, you didn't feel happy.

There was nothing here for you, if you were being honest. You despised your colleagues. You felt your professional career was coming to a halt, if only because you lost the passion for it. You were a spitfire in the courtroom. You could bring any opposing counsel to their knees. Rumor had it, there were considerations to nominate you for judgeship. A decade ago, it would have been everything you could've dreamed of. Now?

Now it felt like you were just going through the motions of it all. Now, you were looking for a change in your career. Still in the legal profession, sure. But perhaps a different area of it. Perhaps something different from the same old, same old.

And like a saving grace...You received a phone call.

"Y/N Y/L/N, you are a difficult woman to track down indeed."

You laughed, shifting the phone from one ear to the other. "I doubt that, Donella."

"Maybe I exaggerate," she conceded. "But, I feel like the dramatics are appropriate."

"Do you mean to tell me or am I supposed to start guessing why you've called me?" you asked.

"I'll tell you. There's a position at the school that's opened," she said.

In the years that followed after graduating and passing the bar, Donella had spent a few years solely dedicated to practicing the law. But, as she made headway in the field, she found herself wanting to give back to future lawyers. She began teaching at the law school, rising in ranks until she had become dean the year previous.

"Are you asking what I think you are?"

"No. I'm telling you to apply. No questions here," she said. "You keep talking about wanting a change. So apply. I have no doubt that you'll be hired, and that's not my bias speaking, I promise. You're exactly what we're looking for."

"You know what could happen if I came back..."

You had told her about Andy after you moved to Washington state. She asked why you seemed to be running, and you couldn't keep it from her any longer. She was horrified by it. She wanted to do something, but you both knew the odds. Nothing ever comes from cases like this.

"I know. But maybe things are different now."

There was a hint of hope in her voice, and you wish you could dream the way she did. Sure, you didn't even know if Andy was still in Massachusetts or not. You didn't even know if he was in the same city.

"He's moved to Newton, if that helps," Donella said. "He's got a son now. He seems to be busy."

"That means nothing. He was engaged when we met, he was married when we..." You squeezed your eyes shut. "I want to do it, I really do. I miss home. I just..."

"I know. But, we can make a plan? We can keep tabs on him just as he's kept tabs on you. If we know when he'll strike before he does...Maybe we could avoid it."

Oh, you hated how Andy was still controlling your life, even when you hadn't heard from him or seen him in years. He still had a tight grip on you, even though you thought it had loosened.

"You want to stalk the stalker."

"Nothing may come of it," Donella said. "But I think this is a situation where better safe than sorry couldn't be more true. And...I miss my best friend."

"I miss you, too." You looked out your office window, looking at the rain beating against the windows. "I'll apply."

"And I'll see you in the interview."

"So confident," you laughed.

And though your anxieties were spiking, you were sure that everything would be okay. After all, weren't you tortured enough for a lifetime?

It felt like Andy's hands never left you. You had no alone time anymore. You were a few months along now, and Andy was insistent you begin your bed rest. The only times you were allowed up was to go to the bathroom, shower, to go to the doctor, and to take approved walks around the yard with Andy's supervision. Otherwise, you were trapped in bed, and Andy was usually with you. He would lay with you, running his hand over your belly, pressing kisses to it, caressing you as he told you about all of the plans he had for your family, for his family.

Your walks were your only solace. At least when you were outside, you could focus on something other than his touch. You would look around, try to figure out where you were. But there was nothing, no indication of where he had taken you.

You were only ever allowed in the backyard, where there was a large expanse of trees surrounding the property, shielding your view of anything and everything. From the front of the property, which you could only see from the living room window, there was nothing. Only a long driveway and what felt like miles of yard that eventually expanded too far out for you to make out anything.

Going out to the doctor or to buy baby supplies did nothing to help, either. Andy gave you something so you would sleep on the drive, so you missed everything that you drove past. You never saw any landmarks. Never saw any road signs or anything like that. Even in the buildings you went to, he made sure that you never got to see the addresses that were listed on business cards or flyers.

It worried you, if you were being honest. The plan could still work without knowing where you were, you were sure. Except, not entirely. If you were too far out, they might know who you are. They might not take you seriously. They may think it a joke or a prank. They might not call the police.

It worried you very deeply, made you feel so sick you wanted to pass out.

"What are you thinking about, sunshine?" Andy asked, squeezing your hand.

"The baby," you said.

"Me too," he said. "Have I told you I hope it's a girl?"

"You have, yes," you said. "You said you wanted a little princess to spoil."

He smiled fondly. "I do. Have you given any thought to her name? Or his name, if it's a boy?"

"There's a few names I've considered." And you didn't want to tell them what they truly were. You wanted those names to be untainted when you were finally free. "I was thinking Belle or maybe Ella for a girl, so she's truly a princess. For a boy...I'm sure. Perhaps Andrew, after you? It could be a new tradition for our family, giving the first born son your name."

He liked that, his smile growing. "How considerate of you, sunshine."

"I aim to please," you joked, laughing as he laughed.

But as he fell silent, you went back to thinking of your plans. You needed to figure out what you were going to say. You needed to have it perfect. You had only one chance. You couldn't ruin it.