Pricked

36

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So after the news of a magical kiss and Aurora's encouragement to send callers for me, however hopeless it may be, men started to come from near and far, claiming all of a sudden that they do know me. Or, that they are really important and everyone loves them so they could wake me from my slumber.

I'm not too fond of a bunch of strangers kissing me while unconscious, epically because I don't know any of them, let alone love them. But I don't have a choice in the matter.

I am 22 and have never been kissed, I never cared to be in love or find a husband. I had Mitch and we had fun just being friends. So 2 days of weird people kissing me, hoping to be the special one to wake up the nobody, the loner, the loser, the pathetic servant girl was exhausting to say the least. In hopes to get some sort of wager for bringing me back to life. I have any money, they wouldn't be getting anything from me.

Some girls play hard to get, but I'm here literally letting every known and unknown man come and kiss me to wake me up. So no, I'm not hard to get, I'm easily gotten, just hard to be woken. And all I can do is hopelessly watch as them come and go.

There is a line out the door and through the palace stairways each day. I would like to say I feel special, or loved or even loveable, but I don't and I'm not. After hours of crackly, wet, thin, large, blistered lips molesting mine all day I am relieved when the palace shuts their gates and gives up for the night. I am so happy to finally be alone to try and process today without a constant buzz of noise.

Kissing isn't what people think. It's gross and weird and I'm not sure why do many people enjoy it. My mind drifts back to the kids trying to have sex in my room. How do people know when they are ready? How do they know when they have found their true love? Of maybe people aren't in love, but they simply have needs that they think they need met by urges and doing strange things. I've been kissed by so many men over the past 2 days that a kiss means nothing to me now. I used to think it was something special that two people share, a kind gesture with love in mind and nothing more.

Rowan and his wife for example, I have seen them kiss and it is such a cute sign of love. I want to be in love like them. I want to find someone that loves me for me and doesn't want anything more. All of these men want money or bragging rights for waking me and will throw me aside as soon as I am awake. Luckily none of them will have the chance, I do not love any of them.

The sun is just peaking over the palace gates when I sense the first kiss. So today is the same as before I think hopelessly. I wake and there are already people kissing me, cursing and leaving. I don't know how many days it's been of this, but I keep wondering why haven't they just given up yet? I'm just a servant, I'm not royalty and for all they know I can't see what's going on or hear their rude conversations about me.

Today is another day of failed kisses and wasted time. The door swings open and another unknown guy saunters in. I can't watch this anymore. I attempt and fail to slam the door and then I proceed to march away. I want to be able to hear my footsteps, to be heard and be spoken to. I sit on the stairs and watch the men stand and wait for hours at a time to kiss someone they don't even know.

"Gah!" I yell and move away from my body. "Just fall in love with someone the moment you see them, can't you just do that?" As I rant at myself, I go to sit on the stairs and watch the men come and go, come and go, all over again.

"Ridiculous," I say "just ridiculous." I pass the time by categorizing the men; by shirt color, hair color, and is that... Mitch?

I never thought to see Mitch standing in line... standing in line to kiss me? True loves kiss. I raise from the stairs so fast that if I was in my body I would have surely fallen down the stairs and hit my head, killing myself in the process. He could wake me! I love him. He loves me. Why didn't I think of this before? He was right there all my life, Mitch, my true love?

"My true love," I state willing it to be true. It's not a question, but a statement, believe it. Mitch is my true love. I want to push everyone out of the way and say Mitchell is the one, let him to me. I am over taken with joy, today is the day.

My symptoms had lessened over the past few days, but my head still pounded. This time though my head pounded with joy and relief. Today I get my life back, today I get the cure I have been waiting for.

I sit on the step he stands on anxiously waiting in line. Moving slowly up one step at a time, then another as he slowly makes his way to me. "Today is the day," I repeat softly. I smile so largely, I'm giddy with excitement. "Today is the day, hallelujah!" I scream. No one hears me, but they will soon enough. An hour of strangers kissing me passes before Mitch reaches me. This is it.

"Hey," he says awkwardly as he enters and I laugh and lay on my body so I can wake up with his lips on mine. He looks around the room, then at me. "I love you Harriet." His lips are so close to mine, but he pauses. Brushes a hair out of face and cups my check in his hand and kisses me gently. I wait to wake up, for someone to say hallelujah and repeat what I'm thinking, but nothing happens. "I miss you and I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner, but please Harriet you have to wake up." He hesitates hand still on my cheek. "I love you. You're my best friend, please." He kisses me again more forceful this time.

"Come on!" I scream, "wake up!" But I'm unmoving, still undead.

He kisses me three more times in a row, "damn it!" He yells and flips the bedside table. I sit up and watch my body lay unmoving, I feel no different, I feel no better. The one man I love can't break the stupid spell. He is pacing the room and cursing as he moves. He freezes and runs back to my side grabs my hand and just holds it. It's like I can read his mind or his face says it all. "I'm sorry," he says and he is ushered out the door and the next man is brought in.

People say that once you've hit rock bottom the only way to go is up. Those liars. I've hit rock bottom now I'm buried 6 feet below that supposed, last worst thing, and there is no sign of moving up from here. You can always go down, but hiking yourself back up before the rain pushes you further down, that is the hard part. Sometimes it's not even in your control. Other times it's all your fault. You didn't try hard enough so now you're drowning in the grave you dug and rock bottom doesn't seem so bad in comparison to where you're at now.

If I could dig myself up, if I find my true love. I think to Mitch and his failed attempts, I would turn my life around, get a real job, no more stealing, go back to church. I beg, I plead, I bargain. I would if I could, but I can't, so I'm stuck. I'm praying, sort of. I'm yelling at no one and getting no response. So I turn my anger to God, once again he has left me on my own.

"You and I," I say shouting at the sky, "we have been estranged for so long, but I see no end to this without you." The dinky window has never felt larger. The clouds are white and fluffy and the sun shines in the distance making small shadows against the castle wall, as the sun descends in the sky. "Why do you wrong me so much?" Maybe he can't hear me either. "Why am I stuck like this? What did I do? There are much worse people then I yet I am stuck here. Why?" My shallow breaths make my vision turn blurry and the room starts to spin again. This isn't new, but still I question what's happening? I feel different from before, I feel worse. "Are you sure you don't mess up?" I call out, ramming my hand to my pounding head. God is not supposed to mess up, he has a reason for everything supposedly, but this seems like he made a mistake with me. I collapse to the ground, curling into a ball trying to make the room stop spinning, but it only spins faster. Remember what I said about rock bottom there is always farther to go, I just don't know how much further I can handle before I break for good.