Pricked

6 months later

6 months later

"Within moments I became an orphan." Their little faces look up to me, "and yet during that moment, I gained a new family. But, it didn't matter to me that I got a new home." A boy holds tight to a woven fox toy, he is so young, so innocent. "I lost my family. I would never belong here I had thought, as I walked through the doors of my new home. I belonged with my parents." I hold back my tears, the children in front of me are weak, so I must be strong. "Even though I miss my parents every single day, I love my new family. They are amazing and supportive, compassionate and gave me time..." I look to a girl that seems to be about my age when I lost my parents, there are so many children. "Time to grieve, and time to learn how to live without them." I glance up to Arren, he's ushering more children to sit down, handing others drinks and food to eat. I fixate on him and can't think of anything else to say. I was so lucky, despite everything, I was so lucky. An idea sparks in my head and the words start to flow.

"If there was such a thing as a lucky orphan, I was it." I get a few strange looks from the crowd, but continue. "My friend took me in and I was given a good home." I look down at their small innocent faces, their pain beads right though me. "Even though I got lucky, I made some very bad decisions out of pain." A few of the older children look bored and keep their eyes down, twiddling with their shirts. "I wanted to take something, anything that would make me feel whole again." I see a tall, thin boy look up slightly at me, his face smudged with paint. I know more children did as I did, and I don't want them to have to, not anymore. "I want you all to have the opportunity to have a good home, with a loving family. Where we can help you along the way, on whatever path you decide to take." Their faces pull up staring into my soul, these poor children, please let my words be connecting to them I pray.

"You will make mistakes, we all do, but I would like to be here to help you get back on the right path, if you will let me. We will give you a faith filled life, a warm home, and a loving family." A few of the children wiggle in their spot, another little girl comes and grabs my hand. Her little fingers intertwined in mind. I want to cry tears of love, but I manage a smile.

"I will be here for you," I say down to the little girl, her pink bow sagging in her hair. "I will be here for all of you," I state up to the rest of the orphans, to the beautiful unwanted children.

"God has a plan for everyone, even amongst the chaos and madness of this evil cruel world. Each of us has an important role here."

"What possibly could my plan be? I'm only 6." The little girl's soft golden curls fall around her face as she wiggles into position, her wide eyes gazing up at me.

"Yeah Miss Harriet, what can we do?" All the children gather closer and look up at me as if I was giving them the world's largest pastry.

"I don't know what your role is, not right now at least." I suck in a breath and expel the words I hold close. "I didn't know what my role in this world was until, I was forced to face my demons and the truth of what I was really running from."

"What were your demons?" A little boys asks, his red hair needs a trim as it falls over his hazel eyes, he reminds me of a young Peter.

"A mean man, that killed my parents and my friends, became a demon in my life."

"KILLED!" I few of the children say in horror, but they need to know my truth in order to trust me and for me to help them find their path.

"I drifted away from God because I thought that if I left him, I could punish him for what he did to me. I could make him feel as though he was losing something special to him, as I lost my parents."
"Did it work?" My eyes drift to the boy, he looks broken like I was at first. He needs reassurance that everything would be alright, but things are not that simple.

"No," I simply state. "God doesn't run away from us when we push him away, he only tries to bring us closer to him." The boy looks down, away from my gaze. "I pushed him so far away I thought I would never regain his trust. I didn't think I wanted his love." I want to cry again thinking back at all the pain and torment I went through without God by my side. "I thought that I never wanted him to be a part of my life, ever again. But my stubbornness and single minded thoughts only hurt me in the end." I stare at the boys head hoping he will look up and see I am trying to help. I am not his enemy, or someone trying to get him to believe, when he still needs time to grieve. "I have told a group of you my story of pain and entrapment when previously here, but if you would care to listen how I lost and found my way then please do stay. Or if you have questions or just want to talk, about anything, everything," all eyes land on me. "I am here and so is Arren." I gesture to him and he approaches the group with a large smile and warm pastries. "We can be your family, we would love to be your family, if you let us."