The New Kid | lrh

Chapter 9

I'm such a fucking loser. I can't believe that I chickened out.

He admitted that he liked me right to my face. He's not lying. He's not that type.

He likes me. He wouldn't fake his feelings. Luke's a good guy. A sweet guy--a really sweet guy.

I like him. I can't believe that I like him. Who knew the good boy could make the bad girl fall for him.

Luke was everything I had ever wanted. He was kind, funny, smart, shy, and so much more. He has taken up every thought I had. Every single waking moment, I spent thinking of him and craving his attention. He was like a drug I couldn't get enough of. I was getting a high from Luke that pot didn't give me.

His clear blue eyes, his cute nose, and enchanting smile, made me fall a little more every single day. I needed his attention--his affection. I needed him.

Buzz. Buzz.

My phone vibrated on my bed next to me. My laptop, the only thing giving off light on my room. The iced coffee I bought from Dunkin Donuts earlier sat on the table bedside me, beads of water dripping from the cup onto the table.

Violet text me a brief message.

I fixed your boy problem xx

If she did what I think she did, I was going to kill her. She could not tell Luke that I liked him. I couldn't show my emotions. I would not become vulnerable again. I would not get hurt again.

Love was a terrible thing.

"I can't fall in love again, I just cant." I whispered, bringing my knees to my chest. I hugged my knees, rocking back and forth. This had become a familiar position I found myself in. I consoled myself, since my parents never showed me any love.

I had found comfort in hiding away from the world because I couldn't rely on anyone.

Violet and Michael were my family at this point. But the the comfort I wanted would come from a boy. A boy I loved and who loved me. Something I was naive to believe would ever exist.

The doorbell rang and whoever was ringing it seemed impatient.

"Hold on!" I yelled from my room. I was struggling to put on a shirt over my sports bra.

I wore all black, which was fitting for my mood.

I quickly jogged down the stairs to the front door, opening it to find a flustered Luke, pacing back and forth.

"Oh-" I said in shock. "Come in..." I opened the door for him.

"I don't know what to say..." He mumbled, looking at his feet.

He was so cute when he was flustered. Blood quickly rose to his cheeks as he tried to form a sentence. I just wanted to boop his nose.

"I'm sorry for, uh," He began. "Telling you that I like you..."

"Why would you be sorry?"

"Because you don't feel the same way."

"But I do."

"I know I shouldn't have said that--wait, what?" He cried out.

"I like you too, Luke!" I threw my hands in the air. "I've liked you for awhile! I tried so hard to not like you because I'm damaged goods, I won't let myself hurt you."

"You won't hurt me! You're not damaged goods, Zoe!"

"Yes, I am, Luke." I squeaked out, a tear fell down my cheek.

"If I get hurt, it wouldn't be so bad, getting hurt by you."

"You're trying to sound like The Fault in Our Stars right now." I rolled my eyes at him.

"I gave it a shot," he laughed shortly. "But that's how I feel. I haven't felt like this about anyone before."

"Haven't felt what? A boner?"

"Oh my god, you're ruining this moment!"

"This moment?" I exasperated.

"Yes, Zoe. You're such a buzz kill."

"Buzz kill? Me? A buzz k-"

I was cut off by Luke's lips crashing into my own.

The boy had grown some balls and kissed me.

I kissed him back but laughed. He couldn't kiss very well. I wouldn't mind teaching him.

"What? Was I bad?" He blushed, embarrassed.

"A little. But I can teach you." I smiled. I brushed the hair from his eyes and caressed his cheek. He was so innocent, so pure, so enchanting.

"You're my first kiss." He whispered.

"I can help you make up for it." I pulled his hand making him follow me up to my bedroom. "Don't worry, sex is not what happens next." He blushed.

"That's not what I was I thinking..."

"You're a shitty liar, you know that right?"

A/N: IM PEEING MY PANTS BC I HAVE FEELS WRITING THIS KILL ME NOW