Peace - jaylor story (peace book 1)

melting together and Trouble

There is mature content in this chapter, but if you skip to ** you will skip over it, but there is also a notice when its over.

-Taylors pov-

The seasons have turned from fall to winter, and we are nearing the holidays. This will be the first Christmas when we are a family of three and I'm really excited for that, but the sad thing is that joe's family was supposed to come over for Christmas, but the virus has gotten so bad over there that it's not safe. We were all looking forward to it as we haven't seen them either for a year, but I guess that's just what happens when you're in a pandemic. So, this year it will just be the three of us and maybe my mom depending on how her health is.

I'm excited for Christmas though, I love the holidays so much, it's my favorite holiday. So I've been spending the last several days decorating the house as I've finally been allowed too. Joe made a rule years ago that I'm not allowed to decorate before December 1st so that was when I started.

Now we also have a three-month-old in the house who is starting to really become a little person and seems to love all the new objects being placed around. She is at that age where she is starting to really reach for stuff which is exiting and nerve-wracking at the same time. Thankfully she isn't mobile yet so she can only really grab what's in arms reach without having to turn around and such, but it's still nerve-wracking to think she could grab something dangerous.

I've just spent a long day in the studio re-recording my old albums so now that I'm back home i'm getting some much-needed cuddles with Ellie. She of course doesn't mind when she can get the boob at the same time. We are still several months away from getting her on actual food, but I'm enjoying the breastfeeding anyway. I still feed her on demand every three to four hours at all hours of the day. Well... except if I'm gone recording or something than I will have pumped beforehand and after some convincing she will take a bottle then.

Eventually she gets satisfied, and I put her to bed as its already late, she doesn't complain because she seems tired. I love her so much, but I feel like joe, and I barely get any time together these days which makes me sad. It's hard to balance time between being parents and then being a couple, both are important but obviously being parents come first. All I want is to just spend some time alone with him with it being just the two of us like it used to be.

When I go downstairs he is sitting on the couch with his computer probably working, so I slide down on the other side of the couch and just look at him in silence. He has a fit body and a perfectly shaped face that I love to feel with my hands. He has a light stubble that makes him look like a man but it's not too much because he knows I don't like it when It scratches my face when we kiss. His eyes are a perfect shade of ocean blue and when our eyes meet, they sparkle. There isn't anything about him that aren't enchanting to me, he is just my person all around.

"you're staring Taylor" joe says and chuckles lightly but don't turn to look at me. "you're gorgeous, so how could I not" I say playfully and hope for some kind of reaction, but he just chuckles and continue to look at his computer which makes me frown. I wish he would look at me and let our eyes meet so we can get lost in one another.

I want to feel his body, I want our skin to touch and our bodies to move in sync. We haven't had sex since before Ellie was born, I just haven't been able to do it afterwards even though I've been cleared for all kinds of sexual activities by my doctors. But he hasn't even initiated anything or asked me if I want to have sex at all. He hasn't taken any action or said something that showed he had any interest at all.

"joe" I call for him, but he doesn't turn to look at me "yeah?" is the only response I get and now I get annoyed. "Am I that repulsive to you that you can't even look at me?" I snap at him.