Peace - jaylor story (peace book 1)

the hospital

-Taylors pov- 

"Thank god you picked up Taylor" he says, and I can hear he is really worried. "what's going on?" I say and hold my breath, I can hear from his tone that something has happened. 

"You need to meet me at the hospital... its Ellie. We are in the ER" he says, and my eyes widen, and I get out of the car to throw up, this isn't happening. 

"What do you mean she is in the hospital? If this is some sort of joke joe will kill you" I say in full panic mode thinking all the worst things. Maybe she got meningitis? Or a stroke? Can babies even get strokes? What if her heart stopped? Or she suddenly got cancer and I haven't noticed? After all we have cancer in the family, but can babies even get breast cancer? What if she fell down the stairs? 

"Taylor, I need you to take deep breaths. She had a bad asthma attack. She was turning slightly blue, had a hard time breathing, and you could see the muscles between her ribs pull in when she breathes. So, I called the ambulance" he explains, and I let out a slightly sob but I know I need to stay strong. This isn't about me, I can't be selfish and react badly, this is about her. All I need is for her to be okay. 

"What the hell. They told us her asthma wasn't that bad. Fuck... joe... I need to be with her" I say and take deep breaths to keep me from hyperventilation. 

"She is in the ER of the Vanderbilt children's hospital downtown. Come here and I will trade places with you. Only one parent is allowed, I would love to stay with her. I will only trade places with you if you calm down and can keep it together. She is on oxygen right now and they just gave her some kind of nebulizer. They're trying to decide if they're going to keep her overnight, but I think she Is getting hungry, and my boobs are no good for that" he says. 

I know that I won't stop panicking if I can't be with her. I know it feels unfair for joe that he can't be there, but he knows me well enough that I will fall apart if I can't see her. This stupid pandemic is making it hard for families to stay together in the hospital. When scary things happen of course parents need one another when they child is so sick it ends up in the hospital. 

"They also did take a covid test to make sure, she doesn't have covid. But they suspect that pneumonia caused the asthma attack. She has been coughing for some days, but we thought it was just asthma" he says, and I can hear he is really stressed too. "Just get over here and we can trade places. I asked them if we could." 

"i'm on my way" I say and dry my tears before getting behind the wheel to drive there. What if she needs to stay in the hospital overnight? What if she gets sicker? How do we handle a sick baby with pneumonia? And how the fuck didn't I notice that something was wrong. I feel like a terrible mother, I never should have left to go to the studio. She got slightly blue from lack of oxygen for god's sake. Thats insane, she was so healthy. Her asthma wasn't supposed to be that bad, fuck. 

It feels like it takes forever to get there but eventually I do and park my car, put my mask on, and text joe that I'm on my way in. They test me for covid with one of those quick tests and I wait for the answer before I'm allowed into the ER and when I see her in that little kids' hospital bed I almost cry, but I can't do that now. 

Joe gets up and quickly hug me "I will wait in the car" he says and walk out. I feel really bad but when I see her in that bed I go and sit beside her, and she starts to whine so I call for a nurse "can I pick her up even though she has those wires and oxygen" I ask her gently. "Yes, let me help you" she says in a nice tone under her full PPE gear. 

Gently she helps me get Ellie in my lap "she seemed hungry earlier, and it's okay to breast feed her if you want to do that" she says, and I nod "sure"