Crazy shit

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" And I've planned on having strippers too!" Ok. So... I had just said that my best friend is crazy but now I knew. She was really fucking crazy.
I just got my poor brother to handle all of my wedding duties for the time being and there I was, sitting first class in a plane along with all my girlfriends, trying my best to not roll my eyes.

" Suha!" So, I hit her shoulder because I was past all that! I was going forward in my life and starting something new. I didn't need to be reminded of my old college times because I was an insecure little idiot back then. I did things, ok. That I haven't told her... And things that I don't particularly want anyone to know either... But it was different now. I... I was turning a page in my life and it was all going to be just perfect.

" What?! It'll be fun!" From all my college experience, I know one thing for sure. Strip clubs are fun for drunken people. Not for people who had decided to remain sober! It was just going to be awkward and I just knew that it got way more awkward when... I accidently bumped into someone.

At the hotel, before we got into the crazy plan that Suha had made. I bumped into someone I shouldn't have.

I was just looking around, at the great view from the hotel reception while Suha went out to check in for us. It was me and aayu, talking about how cool it would be to have a bts concert there. And I was kind of lost in my thoughts of how loving and how caring my fiance was. How he let me go so very easily, without even caring much. How he was open to suggestions and just, how he was a great guy. In general.

And then my dumb self heard suha calling for me so, I turned around to walk ahead and the moment I did that. I stumbled into the one person that I didn't want to stumble into in my entire life, ever again.

" Vicky?" God. I'm a liar.

Now I get it. I'm a damned liar.

Now I understand it all. Why it was so very easy for me to leave Tani. Why it was so very easy for me to forget it and move on... Why I did that right before my wedding.

It's because, there was a hole in my heart. A desire to complete something that was still incomplete. A wish that an impossible dream could come true. A man who still somewhere did stay in my heart... And all this, I found out later, after I began drinking and overthinking everything. And God if I had never seen him again, I don't think that the dormant feelings would have ever come back.

To give you more details on the specifics, Vicky was my first college crush. He was my first kiss. The first person I flirted with. The first man I... You get it. Right? He was my first everything. But after finding out who my dad was, he had backed out.
" I just want a flirtationship... That's all. Plus, I got what I wanted," I knew that he was only trying to make himself look like the bad guy there because my dad would never get me married to a broke animator. I just knew it.
And his dumping me... It had given me my first heartbreak. The thing was different that I got revenge on him by infesting his dorm room with onions in every damned corner so that he could never have a good smelling dorm and never have any other girls in. Now, what do I say about it? I was young and angry. Plus, my father always taught me to get back at someone if they took something important from you. It was different that he was generally talking business with bhai and I would overhear stuff. But it was fine.

And I really thought that I was over my first before that moment when he looked back at me with those hazel eyes, melting me in spot. God. That... Everything. I was still hooked. Why was I though?

" Pari?! It's been so long! What are you doing here?"
" Uh hmm," Suha didn't know about him but the girl standing behind me, Aayu... She knew. She knew all those embarrassing details and I just knew that she knew that I was falling at that moment
" Nothing. I just," because one visit with him made me flustered and I lost all my balance and concentration...
" Here for her Bachelorette party. She's getting engaged. Pari, show him that big diamond,"
" Oh, right," and I swear that if she hadn't helped me out of that situation, I wouldn't have been getting out either
" Right. Heard about that in the news. Big businessman's daughter marrying another business tycoon. Tell me. Is this for the money, or a deal or just the profits...?" And then he threw that question at me. Honestly, I didn't know if I liked him anymore.
" Sohit is great, actually. Good guy. Has a great career but... Who's looking at that... I guess you can say that he has the stability that I wanted in life. And the looks..." Yeah. Take that sucker!

He made me so angry. I decided that me, who wasn't going to drink, would drink. And me who was supposed to be the only sober one was the only wasted one the next morning when I found myself on a plane back to India.

You can say that I probably maxed out my brother's account on drinks that night. Maybe, I did enjoy having the stripper give me a special performance and maybe, I did like seeing those manboobs.

Ok, just. Guys. I'm being so shameless here... I just. I don't understand. Why the hell was the first thought that came to me after I got sober enough to think properly
" Why can't it be him?"

Why?

Because, Sohit is everything. He's smart, tall, handsome, rich, powerful. Any girl's dream. He's perfect.
And yet here I am, thinking about one stupid boy who wasn't even with me long enough to be called an ex.

I just hope that the feelings I had for Sohit would come back after I meet him once again because what I was feeling and thinking on the plane was nothing good...

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