Phan Oneshots

Just The Way You Found Me

Summary: Third part to Trouble Maker, where Dan decides to actually talk about his feelings with Phil.

***

Dan Howell was freaking out.

It was a new feeling to him; not being able to control his mind, or his body. Always on edge, jittery and shaky to the point of nervousness. About nothing, too.

Well, not nothing, per say.

It was stupid, he was stupid, and pathetic, and he actually kinda loved it. He had no idea what to do, how to handle himself in this kind of situation.

Because all he could think about where those eyes. All blue and always shining with laughter. Squinting slightly whenever he was reading or trying to figure out an answer to a problem. The way he stuck his tongue out slightly whenever he laughed hard enough, and Dan was happy to say he'd seen it quite a few times. And goddamn, he even liked the stupid arguments they always had about stupid things.

He was whipped. Never in his life had Dan focused so much on one person, and not because they looked cute. He was notorious for his long list of one night stands and very short term relationships, that were always based on how quickly he could get them undressed rather than how they made him feel. And Phil definitely made him feel some things.

Of course, he didn't dare express these thoughts out loud. He would much rather keep it all in and deal with it himself than make a fool himself because of some stupid 'feelings'.

It was the end of the week, and also his last day of the two week detention he had been served. Part of him, a larger part than he'd like to admit, was actually hoping that Phil had continued sassing his teachers and magically ended up staying after with Dan. But he was sorely disappointed when he walked into the classroom, and the familiar mop of black hair wasn't sitting in the back.

It was boring, not having him there. Dan hadn't realized just how dependent he'd become on the conversations they had, arguing about books or music. It was the best part of his day, to be honest, even though he was literally sitting in detention.

What the fuck was he going to do now?

***

Over the weekend, Dan spent a lot of time thinking. Something he didn't usually do, if he was honest with himself.

He was so confused; why was this one person, this one, random, barely significant person, affecting him like this? It drove him crazy, he didn't know what to make of it, of himself.

They'd kissed. He remembered that, of course he did. It shouldn't be difficult, them kissing had to mean that Phil had some inkling of the same kind of feelings as Dan. But Dan was just so scared to admit it, out loud. It would mean that Phil was actually changing him, making him needy and crazy and so damn lost. He didn't want to accept that idea so quickly.

Avoiding the situation was the best he could do right now, the only thing he felt comfortable with. Stubbornness came natural to him.

But how the fuck was he supposed to keep up that facade when Monday came around, and he found Phil standing by his locker at the end of the day?

He stopped where he was, maybe ten feet away, watching the other boy cautiously. Phil looked extremely out of place, shuffling his feet and twisting his fingers together as he stared at the floor. Some part of Dan was chastising himself, arguing that Phil couldn't possibly be waiting for Dan. He hadn't made any moves to interact with him before; why would he suddenly change that?

And then another part worried that Phil was waiting for him, but only to tell him to back off. That the kiss had been a mistake or the time they'd spent getting to know each other was just a way to pass the time. He was there to turn Dan down, and Jesus, Dan actually tensed at the thought that that might happen.