Phan Oneshots

be the one to take me home and show me the sun

Summary: a texting fic, except it's really long and really weirdly descriptive

Dan and Phil are best friends and are both at university, and even have some of the same classes. When a leaked photos causes unwanted attention, they have to figure out how to maintain whatever balance they have left or risk shattering into pieces

***

Tuesday, Sept. 21, 6:00 PM

dan: can i copy your homework

phil: ....
phil: there was homework???
phil: what class?

dan: ur hopeless
dan: biology
dan: i did the first 5 questions but there's like a million left
dan: correction, 35 left

phil: 40?!??!?!
phil: prof napier is an actual demon

dan: oh yes i'm sure he is
dan: and it's up to us to defeat him

phil: with my super manly muscles :)

dan: um no
dan: we need like proper supplies; salt and rope and knives and shit

phil: u watch too much supernatural

dan: maybe u just don't watch enough
dan: and that's why u don't know how to defeat demons

phil: oh excuse me Master Demon Hunter
phil: should i ask you to teach me all your ways and kiss the ground you walk on???

dan: not a bad idea...
dan: this convo is getting way off track

phil: i think this is what they call procrastination
phil: hey are you going to mike's party on saturday?
phil: pj said he's going and he wants to drag me along so he's not bored
phil: but then i'll be bored

dan: i hate parties

phil: i know but i figured i'd ask anyway and try to convince you
phil: pretty please?? you don't have to talk to anyone but me
phil: and we can get drunk and go back to your room and watch anime all night

dan: bribery is a cheap tactic

phil: is that a yes????????????

dan: a very reluctant one
dan: i'll tell everyone you forced me

phil: you won't regret it i promise

dan: doubtful

Friday, Sept. 24, 3:43 AM

phil: are u awake

dan: now i am
dan: someone better be dead i was having a really good dream

phil: a sexy dream ;0

dan: you'll never know
dan: is there a reason for your untimely correspondence???

phil: i couldn't sleep and i was bored so i started taking these weird online quizzes
phil: and one of them said that if i was a fruit i would be a dragonfruit
phil: and i didn't know what that was so i looked it up and it was realllly weird and i had to show you

dan: you didn't know what a dragonfruit was?

phil: i'm a very sheltered man
phil: i don't know some things

dan: pls go to sleep phil i can't deal w you right now

phil: wait i'm just gonna see what kind of dog i am

4:02 AM

phil: a doberman!!!!

Saturday, Sept. 25, 10:38 PM