Returned to Sender - Scarlett Johansson

Part 2

Scarlett's POV

I had been a mess last month and am only just starting to function again. The spring months are always tricky for me; being back in England at this time of year was making it a hundred times worse. Sighing, I looked around the trailer, the movie I had been watching ended a while ago, and I was now just staring at the blank screen in front of me.

Flashes of my worse mistake play before my eyes at this time of the year, not that it isn't constantly on my mind because, believe me, there isn't a day that I don't think about her. I regretted my decision the moment after they took her. Still, at the time, I fooled myself into thinking it was the best move for everyone involved.

It wasn't.

I know that now, but it's too late for my regrets now. Not like I could change anything anyway. She was gone. I sent her away. It had been my choice, and I chose poorly. Shifting from my spot on the sofa to the bathroom with the intention of waking myself up from the haunting memories by splashing my face with some cold water. Yet as I leant against the sink and caught my own reflection, I looked into my own eyes, and all I could see was hers as she stared up at me, clutching my finger in an iron grasp.

"Just one more push, you have this, Scarlett; you're doing so well, darling" The midwife was trying to soothe me, but on the inside, I was ready to give up. She had been repeating the exact phrase for the last hour, and I had had enough.

Becoming pregnant had been a drunken accident after wrapping up filming Match Point. The cast and I had partied hard to celebrate. I ended up drinking a little too hard on the streets of London that night. One thing led to the next, and now, seven months later, here I was. "This is too early; they need more time" I was panting at this point. "I-I was supposed to have two months more. They're not ready; they need longer."

While being pregnant hadn't been my plan, and I felt utterly blind-sighted, I was now terrified. Not only was the baby coming two months early, meaning their health was of significant concern to me at this point. But the overwhelming sense of dread filled me as I realised that my time with this baby was coming to an end now.

While being pregnant hadn't been the easiest, I had loved every moment, and the thought of not being able to protect my baby anymore was a scary one. "Just breath Scarlett" the midwife spoke up again. Waking me from my internal spiral. Feeling the next contraction hit, I screamed and pushed through the pain and exhaustion passing through me. With that, I saw this little alien thing in the doctor's arms; if it was anyone else's child, I would have thought it was gross and slimy, but that was my child, and I just knew they were perfect.

"Well done, Scarlett, you have a beautiful baby girl; congratulations." A sigh passed my lips as I craned my neck to try and see my daughter better. Then it hit me the room was quiet, way too quiet, and with that, the panic set in. All thoughts of being tired left my mind. She has to be ok. There is no way that she can't be ok. "Why isn't she crying? Is she ok? Is she breathing? It's too quiet! I knew it was too early; she was supposed to have another two months! Please tell me she's ok!" Not even leaving time to breathe or for the doctor to reply, I fired question after question at the doctor.

Stressed seemed like a humongous understatement at this point, just staring at the small child across the room while what looked like an army of doctors worked on her. Then I heard it, the best sound I will ever hear in my life, a scream, a loud unwavering scream, and just like that, I could breathe again. She was alive, and that was all that mattered.

"She seems to be perfectly healthy, Miss Johansson" The doctor turned to me. "We will need to run some tests later to confirm, but she seems like a fighter." With that, this tiny little thing was placed on my chest. She was so small, so very, wildly small, smaller than my forearm; she looked like a little china doll. If the doctors hadn't told me she was ok, her size would have terrified me; it still scared me anyhow; I was so scared that just by touching her, she would break. But there she was, my daughter.