~: 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔 :~ [CLEXA] (ON HOLD)

[6] Chapter 6

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"It will never be gone."

Clarke's voice shakily rung out to Lexa.

The slender fingers that wrapped around her hands slowly lost their grip, eventually leaving the blonde's hands with a rush of coolness ghosting over her hands from the loss of warm contact.

The brunette, however, kneeled quietly in front of Clarke, moving to become eye level with her.

"The blood is gone, Clarke," Lexa said, not failing to pop the 'k' in her name in some way that had the blonde gather her attention to her words, "however the death of him remains. That itself, is enough of a burden on its own. Killing the boy you love will haunt you for the rest of your days.." Lexa quietly trailed off, her voice becoming shaky, she quickly became frustrated at herself for almost losing her composure.

"Well, let me tell you Commander, you sure know how to cheer someone up.." Clarke sarcastically stated, staring at the bloodied rag that lay in her own hands.

Lexa pondered her attitude. She was never great at comforting anyone. Not anyone beside her ex lover, and that itself had been what seemed a lifetime ago. Perhaps it was, in a way.

Wait..

Why did she want to comfort the girl anyway?

She hadn't known her.

Nor would she ever even think of loving again.

Especially not a sky girl.

"Clarke."

The blonde responded by looking up to Lexa.

"You are strong." Before Clarke had a chance to say anything else, Lexa continued. "It is true, you gave mercy to the boy, so much so my people are angry. What they do not know is a leader, such as yourself, has to carry the burden of every life she or he may lose." Lexa found herself trying to cheer up the blonde, despite her earlier internal statements.

"Especially when you find yourself loving those who can be so easily taken away from you." Lexa quietly murmured, finding herself at a certain point of vulnerability that she had since long closed off.

Clarke finally realized.

Became aware.

Lexa had once felt what Clarke was feeling now.

It was evident in how the color of her eyes went from a bright forest green to a deep one, the deep shade showing in different patterns, patterns of which no one could see unless they were close to the Commander. Perhaps this was what Clarke had so selfishly failed to realize.

The Commander was human too.

She lost people and carried their burdens too.

She was just used to it.

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"She's a child, Kane! They're being lead by a child!"

"So are we."

Abby and Kane had been arguing, if you could even call it that, in the Commander's tent. Lexa had left to arrange her guards. It was more of Abby lecturing the man about how her daughter shouldn't be in this position and shouldn't be their supposed 'leader'.

"Look, Abby, your daughter has done us good. Do you honestly believe we would've been able to accomplish even an alliance with these people without the help of Clarke?"

"That's not the point, Marcus. She's a child. My child. She makes irrational decisions and has no leadership skills. At least none that showed on the Ark." Abby furiously fought back, her voice rising a couple of notches.

"Abby-" Kane started.

"Can you both shut up?!" Clarke suddenly yelled at them.

"I am right here! God, you guys care about no one but yourselves, don't you? We've been on the ground and gone through a lot more shit than all of you! I don't even know why you two are here. Quit your bickering or get out. It is incredibly frustrating for you two argue like children!" Clarke snapped, taking the two adults by surprise. It happened that in that same moment, Lexa had returned.

Lexa had to suppress the smirk trying to find its way on her features. The blonde was right, the two adults were arguing like little children who were fighting over who should get a toy. She was almost ready to tell them what Clarke had said.

Well, a little watered down version of what Clarke had said.

"Abby, Kane." Lexa nodded at the two, getting even Clarke's attention. The two adults nodded at Lexa.

"You two may leave. Clarke and I have things to discuss and it would be much easier without the bickering." Lexa clasped her hands in front of her, suppressing another smirk once she had seen that the blonde herself smirked a little.

After some consideration between the two, they nodded at the Commander, leaving Clarke with a simple "Goodbye".

The blonde seemed to lose herself in her mind once again, staring at the floor. In that moment, Lexa had no idea what to do. What was the blonde doing to her? Lexa had spent most of her life as the Commander and yet, with a simple girl, all of that seemed to slowly fade away.

"Clarke, should we discuss now?" Lexa tried, gaining the blondes attention.

Clarke hesitated before nodding her head slowly. "Right, yes, of course." She gulped down the lump that had formed in her throat. Finn was still dead. It just hadn't set in yet.

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"That should be it. We will begin our journey to TonDC tomorrow." Lexa finalized, clasping her hands behind her back, tilting her chin upwards from habit.

"Alright.." Clarke shakily rung out. Sure, she was paying attention, but the last few hours seemed like a blur for her.

The two women waited in an awkward silence.

"I didn't love him."

The brunette turned to the blonde.

"You kept mentioning how I love him. I didn't. I didn't have the time to." Clarke further stated, providing an explanation for her random statement moments before.

Lexa didn't know how to respond to the statement, internally battling herself as whether to apologize or not, because the Commander never apologized. Especially not to someone who still had yet to establish a relationship between their two clans. Who was a complete stranger to Lexa. Who had still..somehow..gained the attention of the Commander, no matter what she tried to do or hide.

Lexa shook her head at herself and slowly nodded.

"Goodnight, Clarke."

Clarke nodded at Lexa, taking that as a dismissal and removing herself from the brunettes presence.