The Story of Their Distance (mdzs fanfiction)

Farewell

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and art used in the story. AU and OOC

The setting sun shimmered in light grey eyes, longingly gazing at the path where his best friend and adopted son disappeared. Long ponytail tied with a crimson red ribbon fluttered in the wind, framing a sad look on his face. A fleeting moment of weakness is soon replaced by a cheerful smile as he turns around.

'I will miss them, but there isn't anyone else I would rather be with now... than you.' "Lan Zhan," says, hidden feelings twinkling in his eyes. Feelings he wasn't able to confess. Hesitation eating him from the inside. Did he still have a chance to fix his mistake from thirteen years ago? Could he stay with Lan Zhan a bit longer? "Where should we go now?"

He didn't want anything more than to travel with Wei Ying, but his brother needed him, the sect needed him, the world needed to know about Wei's innocence. He needed more time, but would Wei Ying stay in the Cloud Recesses? Wei Wuxian was a pure, untamed soul. He couldn't be bound by thousands of rules. What was it he needed to do? Unwittingly, Lan Wangji stepped back, sending the message he would come to regret greatly.

His heart sunk. The illusion Lan Zhan had feelings for him shattered. How could he mistake pity and guilt for something else?

"Why do you help me?"

"I have my regret."

"What regret?"

"At Nightless City, I wasn't by your side."

It was naïve to think Lan Zhan would still love him after all these years. It made him think about a friend... to love someone for 800 years... wait without a doubt. Admirable, cruel and painful, yet admirable. Did the few drunken make-outs Wangji would initiate mean nothing? 'I was so naïve. He would never choose me over their stupid rules. Even back then, he wanted to drag me to Gusu. I would suffocate there... Besides, they hate me the most. Oh Wei Ying, how stupid of you to dream. Just act fine... brush it off.' A smile lit up his face, a somewhat awkward chuckle masked his pain. He couldn't tell him that he looked at him with those romantic feelings. He couldn't tell him he yearns for his touch. He couldn't say anything. He couldn't risk his friendship. Even if it will break his heart. He had no right to ask for anything more from his Lan Zhan. It's better to leave before his feelings would spiral out of control. "We will meet again," he lied, then pulled Lil'Apple in the opposite direction.

"Mn."

"Lan Zhan!" called suddenly without looking back. Then he remembered about the only thing that seemed to connect them. "Next time we meet, you better have a name for this song."

Lan Wangji watched growing between them distance with tears gleaming in his eyes. 'One step ahead of you...'

Loneliness. Overwhelming, swallowing Wei Ying piece by piece loneliness. With each step farther north, his broken heart bled more intensely. Was it fate? Always alone with brief encounters, illusions someone cared? Always acting fine, putting up façade. Would his life look different if he would once admit he was not okay? 'Probably not,' he thought bitterly, continuing his journey north. Maybe one day, he will reach the area no one heard about Yiling Patriarch or Wei Wuxian. Somewhere, where he could be free.

With Lil'Apple sold in the last village for necessary supplies, no one could keep him company. Nothing but his nightmares... pain and sorrow kept him awake. During sleepless nights, he would watch stars, playing Chenqing while longingly gazing at Suibian. Mo Xuanyu's core was weak, but he may wield his trusted sword one day. 'Who I'm kidding.... this body will fall apart before it.' Wei Ying put his flute beside him and sighed. His body still felt the consequences of last night's hunt. 'Damn, it seems like I don't have much time left...' "I wish you were here, Lan Zhan...."

"Maybe he would if you would be more honest with yourself, Wei Ying."

A sudden unknown voice made him jump. Wei Wuxian wiped the blood from underneath his nose and turned around with Chenqing in front of him, resentful energy swirling around him, red eyes glaring at a middle-aged woman in silver robes. Her long silver hair was tied up in a ponytail with a simple hairpin decorated with snowflakes. Gentle eyes smiled at him, yet she was surrounded by an aura of wisdom and dignity.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I'm Baoshan Sanren."

"Grandmother?!" exclaimed, but then a wrinkle showed between his eyebrow, and he squeezed Chenqing harder. "How do I know you aren't lying?"

Baoshen Sanren sat on a nearby tree trunk, lit up his bonfire with an amulet, and gestured for him to sit down. "You are the only child of my daughter, Cangse Sanren," started, then explained how she looked for him. Once she saw him seemingly happy in the Jiang sect decided to let him live in the mortal realm. "When things spiralled out of control, and you decided to use your life force to destroy Stygian Tiger Amulet, I tried to capture your soul, but I was too late. For some reason, I couldn't bring it back."

Her voice sounded regretful but sincere. "I didn't want to return," replied quietly. "And my own words backfired on me. Once I died, I ended up in the Ghost City."

"Ghost realm?"

Wei Ying nodded. "One thing led to another, and I spent over sixty years as Hua Cheng's guest. Damn, I do miss drinking with him," chuckled, then his eyes grew solemn. "Shame this body is so weak."

"I can help you with it."

"How?"

"I kept your original body, hoping one day I could bring you back... as I should have when you were a child. I should never have left you surrounded by these close-minded traitors."

"Past is in the past. There is no point in regretting it now."

"Are you trying to convince yourself or me?"

Wei Wuxian glanced at his grandmother, then smiled. The past can't be erased. It follows like a shadow, dragging you into the abyss. No one can break free. No one...

They had a long conversation, and he honestly didn't feel alone anymore. Now he had someone here who could understand him... someone accepted him without hesitation... unconditionally. He decided to leave everything behind that night as a soft yet heartbreaking melody accompanied their steps.

During a journey north, Wei Ying learned a lot about his grandmother and mother. Despite his usual talkativeness, he let Baoshan Sanren do the talking. She didn't ask him anything and did not expect anything in return. Every night, she would silently wipe his forehead and hold his hand when he would toss around plagued by nightmares. No judgment. No hatred. No expectations. It helped him realise how tired he was towards the end of his first lifetime. How much he shouldered alone while acting fine and trying to make the best of his life.

Finally, they arrived at the red tori gate surrounded by cherry blossoms. Baoshan Sanren stopped and looked at her grandson. "Once you cross this gate, there is no turning back."

Wei Ying smiled sadly. "I have nothing to return to," replied, stepping forward. 'Farewell, Lan Zhan...'