The Story of Their Distance (mdzs fanfiction)

Closer

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and art used in the story. AU and OOC

7 years in the Cultivation Realm (35 years on the Celestial Mountain)

After nearly a year of sharing the house with Shang Yu, Wangji could not imagine living alone anymore. Having long discussions during meals became his new habit. He liked to pick Shang Yu's brain to improve lessons for children and make them more exciting. It was something Wangji started several months ago. Many children asked him to teach them about sword fight and spiritual energy. They were in awe of the Sanren Sect, but Celestial Mountain was off-limits and did not offer classes for outsiders. A few lessons in his garden turned into organised courses in one of the buildings in the village. Wangji truly enjoyed teaching. It was something he could imagine his future with, and it helped him take his mind off Wei Ying.

The sun was low, casting long shadows on the classroom floor when Wangji collected the papers and started getting ready to leave. It was his turn to cook the dinner, and he took his roommate's responsibilities seriously.

"Can I have a few minutes of your time?"

Wangji turned towards the door, and his eyes widened. Leaning in the doorway was the last person he expected to see. "Of course," he replied, trying to hide tension. Did something happen to Wei Ying, or did she come with an order for him to leave Lingjian?

"I was wondering if you saw Ice Cube recently."

"No, I didn't see him since my first night here. Why do you ask?"

Ju Suyin plopped on the mat with a heavy sigh. "It has been nearly ten years since he disappeared. I know he was involved in the mess across the realms, but things seem peaceful now, yet he still did not return. I hoped maybe he came to see you, but I guess that's impossible."

"Harsh," Wangji chuckled. After spending so much time with Shang Yu, he developed a sense of humour and learned to take things with a grain of salt.

Over the last two years, some resentment towards Lan Wangji vaporated. He wasn't perfect and hurt her Gege beyond imagination, but he suffered too. He still suffered. She felt sorry for him. "Wouldn't it be better to give up?"

Wangji shook his head. "It can't be anyone else but him."

"Even if he will never return your feelings?"

He nodded. Part of him knew that he and Wei Ying would never happen, but it wouldn't stop him from trying.

"He isn't the person you knew. A-Ying... he killed the part of himself that needed you. No matter what you do, he won't care about you... he doesn't feel anything."

"What do you mean?"

"I said too much, but if the time comes, ask him about the song he plays every night," Ju Suyin added, then left in a hurry, leaving him speechless.

Wangji closed the classroom and then, with a heavy heart, walked back home. Her words stung, but deep inside, he was worried she was right. No matter what he did, Wei Ying wouldn't care. It hurt, but looking back at their time together, it was inevitable. 'What was this thing between us? Love? Neither of us could ever admit it. We just left it be without putting effort into stopping the other in his track... neither of us could commit to the other. We made each other insecure. No wonder we drifted apart,' Wangji sighed. His thoughts were like poison spreading inside his head. Memories of his mistakes came in waves. Wangji held his breath, letting them bury him. It reminded him of grief after Wei Ying's death. It nearly killed him. Every time he lost Wei Ying, Wangji felt like dying. People would say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But they were wrong. It leaves you broken, wishing you were dead. He wondered if it was okay to admit that he wasn't alright. He needed someone to save him and tell him that it's okay to stop waiting and punishing himself for the past. Suddenly, Shang Yu leaned on his shoulder and peered into his face.