The Story of Their Distance (mdzs fanfiction)

Regret

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and art used in the story. AU and OOC

1 year in the Cultivation Realm (5 years on the Celestial Mountain)

How many days did the same image haunt him? A slender figure in black disappearing on the horizon while he stood there rooted to the ground. A view blurred by his tears.

For the first few months, Hanguang-Jun was occupied with recent events. The Red Blade Master's body was sealed with four sects keeping guard. His brother, Lan Xichen, took the betrayal of his sworn brother much better than anyone expected and accepted the title of his Excellency. Wangji couldn't think of a better person for the role, even if it kept him busy with Gusu Lan Sect. Every storyteller was tasked with spreading the news about Jin Guangyao's deeds to clear Wei Ying's name. But where was Wei Ying?

Lan Wangji sat on the terrace with a bottle of Emperor's Smile, gazing at the stars. Once things calmed down, the regret crept in. 'Why didn't I follow him? Why wasn't I able to stay by his side? Why did I have to repeat the same mistake?! ' Annoyed with himself, Wangji smashed the bottle on the wooden floor. He was slowly losing control. Recently, his heart felt heavy. He kept searching everywhere, but no one could answer his question. "Where are you, Wei Ying?"

Lan Xichen smiled sadly, then gently placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'm sure he's fine, Wangji," he said, sitting beside him. "Master Wei will come back."

"Why did no one see him over last year?!" Lan Zhan snapped.

"Wangji..."

"I lost him again, brother." His stoic expression cracked, showing pure despair. The last ounce of hope, burning out. He tried to let it be, but he couldn't... His life was gone...

Xichen had seen his brother like this before. He wished to blame Wei Wuxian for it, but deep inside, he was aware of his brother's issues. Inability to express his feelings and reach for what's important. It was time to put the sect aside and be the older sibling, Wangji needed. 'I'm not going to lose you again, Wangji.' "Why Master Wei did not come back to Gusu with you? Did he say anything?"

Lan Zhan shook his head. "I didn't ask him to come...."

"Why not?!"

"Wei Ying doesn't like rules."

Older Jade couldn't help but agree. As much as he wished for Wei Wuxian to be in Cloud Recesses for Wangji, he could not imagine him living here. Thousands of rules would kill Wuxian's personality or would get him expelled. Either way, his little brother wouldn't be happy. It has been years since Lan Xichen realised that Wei Wuxian was essential, not him or Uncle. It was Yiling Partriach who kept his brother alive. "Why didn't you leave with him?"

"Brother needed me. Uncle disapproved."

Xichen groaned. His little brother's dedication towards their sect and family was admirable, but why does it have to make him blind to his own desires? Sometimes, he wished to slap some reason and common sense into his little brother. Despite his calm nature, Xichen snapped. His hand unwittingly smacked the back of Wangji's head as he scolded him, "When will you start living for yourself?!"

In his drunken stupor, Wangji blinked with confusion. His clouded mind couldn't understand why his brother was angry with him.

Xichen sighed but didn't give up. He grabbed the younger man's shoulders and forced Wangji to look at him. "Wangji, you need to learn how to live for yourself. Be more honest with yourself and your desires. Once you do that, go and look for him."

He looked at his brother with half-closed eyes and slowly nodded as welcomed numbness overtook him. Wangji understood now why this person liked it so much. If the burden on your soul was too heavy, numbness was bliss. 'How did you manage to smile? Did you also hope for better days when you smiled? I miss your smile, Wei Ying. I miss you. Why couldn't I be the one to tear down your walls, Wei Ying?'