My Bible Blog

Respect You:

Out of all of the people I ever spoken to, the one who I have been the worst to is myself. Is that true about you, too? I hope not. 

I have said things to myself that I have never dared even think about someone else. I tried to love everyone while hating myself. I still do, and it is not healthy. I am not trying to be cliche, but I never saw my thoughts about myself as important until it was introduced through the bible to me. 

For many years, I have gone to therapy for anxiety, and I know that I have low self-esteem. Constantly, it feels, that I am being told to "control your thoughts" and to "build yourself up with your comments about you," but I always felt that it would make me selfish or egoistic.

I think that it is good to be aware of your flaws, and to actively work on self-improvement, but thoughts matter. Speaking positively to myself, I realized, was not ignoring my need for improvement or making me haughty. Instead, it is how I believe God calls us to treat ourselves. 

Our flaws are only surface level, no matter how deep they seem to penetrate, and they are not labels, not who we are inside. God calls us to see people a different way, as His children, beyond their problems and shortcomings, into their soul. As hard as it is for me to understand, that includes me. God wants us to look past these things in ourselves. 

Previously, it was not like that. Adam and Eve got kicked out of God's garden for sinning, and God sent a flood to kill most of the people on the earth. But then something changed. Jesus came. 

Suddenly, the people on the outskirts of society were given a new title. They were redeemed.

He won the battle. He saved us from our sins, our faults, our mistakes. In Him, we are made new. Now, we have a new label- "Child of God"- that is better than any label we could place on ourselves. I, for one, have placed many on myself- ugly, fat, stupid, lazy. I could go on. I am making an effort to try something new, though. (My therapist would be proud, though annoyed because I have ignored her for the last five years on this topic). 

I am trying to let Jesus define who I am. At first, that sounded terrifying. I was unsure of where to start. I prayed about it, of course, but it was one book that really changed my mind. The author explained that there is no reason to be confused on who we are or our worth because the bible has it right there. Written down in nice, neat lines, waiting for us to read. How great is that? It is like finding the answers at the back of a math textbook, but better.

Still, I know the bible is not always very straightforward or easy to understand. In order to better internalize some of the messages that the bible gives us on our identity, I have done an internet deep dive and compiled a list of five bible verses that I will add at the bottom of this chapter. (I would love to add more than that, but I have a work event tonight.)

There is one more thing that I would like to mention, though. Why? Why am I writing an entire chapter on "thinking nice thoughts?" Well, I was able to see those dark thoughts of criticism in a different way. Before, I just thought that they were me, not harmful in any way. But it is now I see that it is the enemy who feeds off those thoughts. 

Think about it. The devil has been trying to do this forever. He creeps into the dark, doubtful corners of our minds, and he feeds on our negative thoughts. In a way, we are self-sabotaging ourselves.

"I am not good enough" or "I am too broken for anyone, even God, to ever want me." These thoughts are meant to us silence. The enemy takes advantage of these, and he tries to convince us that they are true. 

Do not let him silence you. Replace the lies with the truth. I understand that, as Christians, we always want to look outward, but sometimes we must look inward. Our works and life itself are a direct reflection of our beliefs. And if you continuously focus on negative thoughts, you start to believe them. They drain confidence and make even the most prepared speaker cower in stage fright. 

This week, I am working on letting God in and allowing Him to shine light on the darkest parts of my soul. I refuse to be silenced. And you should too. 

- - - 

Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Romans 8:1 "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

John 15:16 "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you."

2 Timothy 1:17 "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

Psalm 31:7 " I will be glad and rejoice in Your unfailing love, for You have seen my troubles, and You care about the anguish of my soul."