Forever my quarterback/Finn Hudson

seasons of love

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Seven days, it's been seven days since someone who I loved died, seven days since my world came crashing down. Seven days since Noah Puckerman took his life. The day that I thought I was going to die didn't end the way I hoped. God, I wish I could take his spot. Jake has been very close off to me, refusing to even look at me. Mom is drunk more times than not, I've just been here.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear

I walked into the choir room, wearing my black dress. Mr. Shue set up a school wide funeral for him, mom is refusing to let us have a 'normal' one. I was wearing a simple black dress that came right above my knees, I had a pair of black pumps on as well. My hair was down but curled. I had just a natural make-up on, I wanted to look nice but I didn't have enough energy to try that hard.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

When I walked into the choir room I saw my family morning the lose of a brother, a friend, a protector. Finn was sitting in the corner with tears running down his face, he was wearing a simple black suit with his football number 5 on it, it was the suit they all wore when they had to look nice as a team. All of the football players were wearing them. I sat down next to Kurt, he took my hand and smiled.

In daylights, in sunsets
In midnights, in cups of coffee

I smiled back, but no one believed it. Hell, I didn't believe it. Emily and Jake walked in, Jake was wearing the football suit. I smiled at him but he just looked away. I stood up and walked out of the room.

"Charlotte?" I looked up and saw Blaine came walking out of the class. "Are you okay?" I sat down on a bench and looked down at my hands. I nodded and fought back the tears in my eyes. I had to be strong for everyone, I don't really have to but I know if I don't I'll lose someone else.

"Yeah, I just need some air. Um, I'm going on a walk. I'll see you in a minute," I kissed his cheek and walked around the corner. When I was out of eye sight, I pulled out a small bottle of vodka. I took a long drink, well by that I mean I drank the whole thing. I walked into the locker room, slightly drunk. I wanted to see if they took out everything from his locker yet.

" You're drunk," I looked over and saw Coach Beastie sitting at her desk. I walked over to Noah's locker, trying to open it.

"Come on, what's the big deal?" I asked as I pulled out his practice uniform, holding it up to my nose. I smelt Noah, and sweat. Gross.

"I get needing something to get through the first few days, but it's been a week. You don't have to be scared to have feelings," I looked over at her, a flash a anger came over me. I walked over to him, getting up in her face

"That's crap! Of course I do!" I screamed. I could see her flinch but I didn't care. I walked away from her and back to Noah's locker.

"Why? We're all having 'em!" Her and I were yelling back and forth at this point. I threw his water bottle that was in his locker at the wall

In inches, in miles
In laughter, in strife

"Not like mine! No one understands!" I threw his helmet at the wall, dropping to my knees. I felt her put her hand on my shoulder, "If I start crying I don't think I'll ever stop." I broke down for the first time since I found out he died, Shannon held me and let me cry into her shoulder. "I can't take it," I screamed as I held his uniform in my hand. "What chance do I have of not being an idiot and hurting people without him around to remind me who I really am?" I looked up to her, desperately wanting the answer.
"You just got to do that for yourself now and see yourself how he saw you," She played with my hair softly.

"It's not good enough for me! It's not like when he was alive," I missed him more and more everyday. He didn't get to see me become me,

"You got to make it good enough, because it's all we got left. And I'm telling you this straight cause that's how you and I talk. He's dead and all we've got left is his voice in our head. I'm sorry, but it's time you, you got to be your own Puckerman." I stood up, throwing his shirt in the trash and ran back to the choir room.

How about (love?)
How about (love?)
How about (love?)
Measure in love

Everyone looked up at me when I walked in.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP STARING AT ME LIKE I'M GOING TO FALL APART, OKAY??!?!" I yelled, everyone looked away except Finn and Kurt. I sat down alone in the front row waiting for Shue to start talking.

Seasons of (Love) (Love)

"It's time guys." Shue lead us to the gym where the whole thing was going on, I sat alone in one of the middle rows, I saw everyone come in. Some were crying, others were laughing. Shue set up this thing where everyone wrote down their favorite memories about Noah. I wanted to run and hide but I couldn't. Shue got ready for the whole thing, "Hey guys, I know we're all really sad and stressed but Noah wouldn't want us all to be sad so lets have some happy moments the next few hours, would you like to start, Charlotte?" I nodded and walked up the stage.