Dumb Mandela Catalogue shit

Incorrect quotes episode five

Cesar: "My Uber driver just said 'do you smoke cigarettes?' and I said 'no, why?' and he said 'you smell like cigarettes'. And I said 'well, maybe it's this bag I'm carrying'." *shows a bag full of cigarette butt's* "Never make assumptions about people."

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Hank: "The human government's running out of money? Hmm. That must suck. I have a proposal." *holds up a plushie of a cat* "WE NEED TO MAKE MORE OF THESE."

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Mark during vol. 1: "My pronouns are non/existent. Cause I'm done." *dies*

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Hank: *walks into Mark's house covered in grass stains and doing the weird squatting tippy toe shuffle thing*

Mark: "Hank, don't come in here with that bullshit."

Hank: *proceeds to come in with the bullshit*

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*Adam and Jonah meeting Hank*

Adam: "Share your thoughts on the economy." *hands him a microphone*

Hank: *visible confusion* "Hallo. Hello-"

Jonah: *w h e e z e*

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Everybody being serious at Mark's funeral: "What are you doing in my house-"

fucking Jonah Googling the Tellietubbies: "I want waffle fries." :]

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Jonah: "I learned this little thing back in elementary school and I thought it was really popular but I guess it's not and it goes like this." *weird hand movements* "✨Wow, mom, i saw a cow, mom, it said moo, mom, it was so 💅cool💅, mom✨"

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Cesar: "Mom, what's wrong?"

Cesar's mom: *sits up from the floor extremely slowly and begins to rock back and forth* "👹La la la la, la la la la. Elmo's world-👹"

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Hank: "I can't manage posting *demon gibberish* like ahh-" *punches the cupboard extremely softly and then knocks over a hot pan on the stove* "AH-"

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Adam: "Long car ride, my ass is sore."

Jonah: "Oh, tinkerbell, I bet it is."

Adam: "I was gonna get an iced coffee, I wanted to know if you have any oat milk."

Jonah: "Wut?"

Adam: "Oat- Oat milk-"

Jonah: "We get our milk from cows, okay, you libs just gotta change everything, and-"

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When you block Hank mid argument but he's Hank: "Hahahaha, you fool, I have 70 ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS-"

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Mark: "Mark has a hangover? Nahhhh, that doesn't matter-"

Hank: *drops a knife on his foot or some shit*

Mark: "Oh fu-"

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Hank: "For everybody that doesn't know, this is my impression of what Vine was like."

Also Hank: "Do you know what I hate?"

Other Hank: "What?"

Also Hank: "Bananas."

Other Hank: "Uhhh...."

Also Hank: "There's a banana right behind me isn't there?"

Banana Hank: "How bout you say that to my FACE-"

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✨Storytime with Mark✨

Mark: "So Hank comes up to little 4 year old me with a joke book and he's like "hey, hey niño" and I'm like "oh god, what is it" and he giggles and says "Hehe. I don't know how to read" and I damn near shit my britches."

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Hank: *filming Cesar eating a dessert at a restaurant* "Mr. Munchy Munchy."

*Mark walks by with police arresting him*

Hank: "Oh."

Cesar: "Oh." :/

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Mark: "Tell me why Hank put a whole ass baby lock on his door to keep me out, and then he gon hit me with a Blue's Clues sticker right next to it like "this is your clue to stay the fuck out my room". I can't with this man-"

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Cesar: "Sometimes the TikTok community can be TOXIC. BUT IN THIS CASE, The Barbs, The Blakes, The Karens, and The Trishanators have joined forces to let you know, HE'S CHEATING ON YOU."

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Jonah: "Just took a shit." *fuckboy face* "Now I feel like my asshole finna split. HYA-HA-"

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Mark: "Hank you have to be honest. Am I ugly? Yes or no?"

Hank: "....."

*fnaf ambience*

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Hank recording: "And he's here to do some business with some big iron on his hip!"

Mark: *rolls up his sweater to reveal a piece of paper with the element of iron on his hip* "Big iron on his hip."

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Cesar: "Welcome back to interacting with closeted men, ft. Hank The Tank."

Hank: "Hey, I like your purse." :)

Mark: "IT'S A SATCHEL!!"

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Hank: "I just think it's so unfair how when anyone else has breakfast in bed it's like "oh that's nice, treat yourself" but when I just wanna have breakfast, lunch, dinner and 17 snacks in bed for days on end it's "this is a problem and you should be in therapy". Thank yew."

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Mark: "Hank has elaborate bullshit ideas every 10 seconds, "hey humano, let's doorbell ding dong ditch", YOU'RE 21."

Hank in the background: :/

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Cesar: "I kinda think I wanna be with someone athletic." :)

Mark: "I don't, I want them to be adventurous, but they need to be out of breath with me." *takes a bite of his ice cream*

Cesar: *wheeze*

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Gabriel: "Those are some delicious looking toes~"

Hank: *hides them* :/

GABRIEL: "BRING THEM BACK."

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