Crack || ONE-SHOTS Jacksepticeye x Markiplier.

In a Video Game

The two avatars crept silently through the forest, spotting the bandits' hold through the trees. They stopped at the edge of the forest and surveyed the scene.
"Got eh fukkin' plan yet?" asked the overly busty female dark elf on the left with entirely impractical armor for a fight.
"Why do I always have to think up a plan? You think of a plan," responded the human avatar on her right.
"Fein, ya fukkin' Asian basterd. I'll go deown da road as eh destrecten, you goo in thru da back and kell da basterds," Sean answered. Before Mark could respond, she'd slipped out through the trees and cut down to the path.
Mark cursed, running back around to the wall at the rear. He waited for the signal.
"HEELLOOOOOOOO," came the screeching call as Sean walked down the path. The bandit's all ran over to the front wall, giving Mark time to vault over and climb through a window. Three guards were clustered around the door, staring outwards. Mark stabbed them in the backs and went looking for more.

Meanwhile, Sean kept up the distraction, parading in front of the bandits. Three of them came towards him. "LALALALLALALALALALALA,' s/he screamed, drawing her axe and splitting open one's skull. She slashed another with a dagger and looked back up to see Mark on the top wall, fighting from left to right.
The third bandit was still distracted by his cleavage, so she gave him his own cleavage in his throat. Sean ran forwards, scaling the wall to join his partner.
A bandit stepped out of hiding, one of the last, and drove his dagger into her heart. Sean fell and heard Mark scream as he beheaded the bandit. He fell to his knees, hands coming to cover the wound.
"GET YER FUKKIN' 'ANDS OFF ME TITS, YA JAPANESE PERVERT," Sean yelled, slapping his hand away. He climbed back to his feet, draining a potion to recover his health.
"Hey, you made them gigantic. Why can't I test the design a little?" Mark asked, standing back up. He pulled out the chest hidden in the wall and drew out the sword hidden within.
Sean laughed. "Oh, ye weren't fukkin' kiddin'. It's a gient fukkin' dildo sword!"
(Of course it's a dildo. Its always a dildo.)